fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3317 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3317 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[D.Gray-man - Miranda Lotto]

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[The Thick of It]

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[Golden Kamui]

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(The Lost Boys)

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[Marble Hornets/troyhasacamera]

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[@midnight with Chris Hardwick]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 037 secrets from Secret Submission Post #474.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You do porn for a living, it is basically a risk that someone is going to know you. Like, for all you know a relative has wanked off to you.

THIS.

Not OP

Fair point, but when the relative jerks off and then proceeds to mock you, you have the right to be pissed off about it.

Yes, but you shouldn't expect the relatives to track you down to do it. That is rapey.

It's shady and deceptive and disrespectful, but let's not hastily throw around the word "rape" here.

deceptive + sexual = rape

hth

No, lack of consent + sexual = rape. Only if OP would have refused the client had they known the identity, then rape would apply. But we don't have that information. We don't know if OP would have refused and ended the cam, or continued and been okay with it, with the knowledge that the boyfriend was involved.

Calling everything "rape" belittles the act. It's fucking why girls get told to yell "fire" so someone will actually pay attention to our distress.

consent requires you to be fully informed.

knowledge (of the full situation) + understanding (of consequences) + agreement = consent

so the full equation is

lack of knowledge + lack of understanding + agreement + sexual = rape

Think of it like this house of cards:

......./\....... Top Level - Non-rape sexual encounter
....../\/\...... Second Level - A sexual situation with agreement
...../\/\/\..... Third level - The persons understanding of who what and how he following events are going to happen.

You cannot remove one of the bottom cards without the whole lot coming down.

Basically what I was thinking

Yeah, it is wrong and gross, but comes with the territory.

It is a risk that OP should have been - and I assume, was - aware could happen. But that doesn't mean that it was OK for the boyfriend to do, or that she's not justified in being mad at him. Because - while everyone involved knew that it was possible to do - it's not like there's some iron law of the universe saying that her BF is going to take advantage of it.

Like, you should be able to expect your significant others to respect your wishes on stuff like that. That's the bottom line for me. At BEST you can say that the BF didn't understand how important it was to her, but it's bullshit to say that this is just the kind of thing that happens. It is total, unmitigated bullshit.

[ SECRET POST #3317 ]

Re: Well that was not ok.

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