fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3319 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3319 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Homestuck]

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[Manhunter, Criminal Minds, CSI and X-Files]

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04.

[Heroes Reborn]

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[Story of Seasons]

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[Keanu Reeves]

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09.

[One Punch Man]

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11. http://i.imgur.com/Pc6ksVv.png
[photo of naked dude in a suggestive(?) position]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #474.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

11. http://i.imgur.com/Pc6ksVv.png
[photo of naked dude in a suggestive(?) position]

I agree with this so much. It seems like it is automatically assumed that the man will be the more dominant one even in a vanilla relationship. You can only get a woman in charge if it is full on BDSM, usually with a leather clad dominatrix. I'd love to see more vanilla relationships where the man was more vulnerable and the woman was the slightly more dominant partner without it veering into BDSM territory. Also more experienced woman/inexperienced man romances would be nice.

Even though I didn't care for the show over all, I loved the reverse roles in 'Outlander', with the guy being the fairly inexperienced partner (not a virgin, but someone who believes and has been told women don't enjoy sex) and the woman being the one to make him stop, slow down, learn, and *please* her. It was pretty cool.

In general you're totally right, but Jamie was a virgin, too.

He was? I don't remember that. Even better, then!

Who is making this "automatic assumption"? The authors? Could it possibly be that they write it that way because they enjoy or get off on male dominance, traditional gender roles, hardcore BDSM? A shocking notion, I know!

I agree. I like various dynamics in het (partners, friends, etc) but I have a soft spot for relationships where the woman is more dominant than the man. It's pretty rare and even when it occurs in canon, fan material seems to skew the other way.

Yes. That last sentence especially bugs me. You have a woman in canon who is bossy or in charge or just generally confident. And all of a sudden she's shy and takes her cues from the man and has to be rescued all the time. It turns me off a lot of fics. One example would be Hermione Granger who in the epilogue we see still bossing Ron around. Yet I rarely see that dynamic in fics. Really, gender roles are not something that show up in the Potter books and yet some of my previously favorite fics have been ruined when gender roles are thrown into the mix randomly and in OOC ways.

In a way, I can understand it as an inversion of what you see in canon (sort of like a novelty), but it's frustrating.

(no subject)

philstar22 - 2016-02-04 23:43 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-04 23:46 (UTC) - Expand

cloudtrader - 2016-02-05 04:07 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-05 14:41 (UTC) - Expand

philstar22 - 2016-02-05 16:57 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2016-02-05 18:06 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah. I really love Shakarian (Garrus/Shepard) in Mass Effect but a lot of the fans annoy me for this reason. I mean... Shepard is every inch the badass space marine, in her relationship with Garrus she's the one who takes the lead, and yet the amount of "possessive dominant Garrus" or "Shepard gets kidnapped/hurt/raped and has to be rescued" is astounding and totally kills all the reasons I love the pairing. It's especially sad when you see fics pairing male!Shepard and Garrus (who aren't/can't be canon) getting the dynamic spot on. Male and female Shepard are the same person, ffs.

why is this guy sitting naked inside a fireplace?? where is this picture from? i have many questions.

Co-signed. More men need to be willing to let me take the lead. How can you trust someone to be honest, and let you take the lead with whips and chains, unless they're willing to follow your lead when things are calm and non-sexual?

Agreed (while I like the dominatrix stuff, too), but the dynamic is great even in non-kink.

SAME. Even IRL it's the same -- I sometimes describe myself as "not submissive" rather then "dominant" because that seems to instantly make people think I'm into whips and chains, when it's not like that at all.

One fiction rec I have is the novel "Smilla's Sense of Snow" by Peter Hoeg (imagine a slash through that O). She's an amazingly drawn badass woman who is very much "not submissive" and who gets involved with a gentle man.

...on another note, that's why I loved "Hannibal" so much : I loved how vulnerable and sensitive Will Graham was, from the beginning. I love seeing male characters allowed to be like that and taken seriously. Another fave male character of that vein was Dr. Rosen in the sadly short-lived show, Alphas.

E: Ha, I hadn't seen the "whips and chains" comment above when I wrote this! :)

Edited 2016-02-05 00:24 (UTC)

I like fem-dom, but I'd go for this, too. Honestly, I'm just sick of male-dom in general. Trying to find things that aren't male-dom is like finding a needle in a haystack, especially with mainstream romance. Sigh.

I'm gay as hell, and this is pretty much the only type of het ships I really truly like.
Too bad they're super rare and/or ussually hated by most of the fandom.
:/

YOOOOOO, same here. I don't read a lot of het (I have a hard time identifying with those relationships BECAUSE of the gayness) but I do like reading about submissive men without, like you said, the crazy femdom thing. I'd like to see more domestic discipline where the woman is the dominate partner, tbh. I think it would be extremely sweet and hot.

Same :D . Even before I knew I was gay as hell :P . I cherished all wee fic like that I could find...

And I have some aversion to reading Dom/sub in literature - IRL is opposite which is strange.

yes. i'm also a fan of an older woman teaching a younger guy a few things in bed.

There are definitely places for less sexually dominant men. I can think of a number of het character pairings like that. Dominant men in fantasy fiction is kind of a classic staple, so I can understand the popularity. But this secret inspires me a little. ;)

That is a great picture.

Agreed!

Here's a crazy idea: instead of whining that there isn't enough of something out there, you could try writing it yourself.

Hey, good idea! You go first! We'll follow suit once your story is posted.

Edited 2016-02-05 20:59 (UTC)

Or you could just say hell with it and write more slash.