fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3325 ]

[ SECRET POST #3325 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3325 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 027 secrets from Secret Submission Post #475.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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What in the world is this secret? Do YOU expect a gold medal for being outraged at people finding her hot? I find her hot. I'm a lesbian, and I think she's hot. I'm not sure why I should be ashamed of that fact, or why you think I want kudos for finding a hot woman hot.

You obviously have internalized misogyny. See a doctor about that.

A lesbian has internalized misogyny for finding a woman hot..

Are you trolling or is this some kind of SJW-approved excuse for homophobia.

That was a joke.

I'm really not getting where people are seeing the "you should be ashamed for finding someone hot" vibe from. The secret objects to people who think that finding someone hot as a personal achievement, and I can see why that'd be annoying if that actually happened.

Because it seems to assume that anyone who finds her hot sees it as a personal achievement merely because she was never naked in the film? Until I see a fan say "Look how feminist I am, I find this clothed, conventionally attractive woman hot" (which I doubt is the case) OP is just looking for something to be mad about.

OP refers to people with a specific attitude who come off as smug about their crush, though. I don't find it difficult to imagine that there might be some people out there like that.

"Because it seems to assume that anyone who finds her hot sees it as a personal achievement merely because she was never naked in the film?"

No, it doesn't. As the anon you're responding to said "the secret objects to people who think that finding someone hot as a personal achievement." The fact that the secret objects to people like that does not mean it assumes all people who find her hot are like that.

This is another crappy argument I see all the damn time. "People who do X and act like Y are annoying" always gets responded to with "oh, so everyone who does X is a bad person (or 'evil')" or "I do X so I guess I'm annoying. okay." or "oh, so we're not allowed to do X now, I guess" and it completely ignores the fact that the complaint wasn't about people who do X, it was about people who do X AND ACT LIKE Y.

Look, it doesn't have to be that literal, it could be something said as casually as "Rey was hot without even needing to take her top off lol" which gives off that annoying air (and I'm sorry, I'm calling bullshit if you supposedly haven't seen those kinds of comments around on message boards or article posts at least).

OMG yes. This is a thing that happens, men singling out a girl/woman who is the superior exception to her gender because she:

* is a REAL gamer/geek, not a fake geek girl!
* doesn't wear make up to trick men into thinking she's prettier than she really is (unlike those other clown-faced chicks and their deceptive push up bras!)
* will happily eat a double chili cheeseburger, fries and a shake instead of a salad (because that proves she can eat like a man and not like an icky gross girl or someone who's so dumb they enjoy salads)
* looks gorgeous without wearing "slutty" clothes (boo hiss to all the women who "need" to show off their cleavage in order to get attention amirite)

You know that "not like other girls" thing that women do? Yeah, men do it, too.

Men also get it so what exactly is your point?

Yes, this!

Dudes on Reddit make comments like this ALL the time. They think they're owed nudity from women and if they don't get it they pat themselves on the back for managing to find those women hot anyway (and as an added bonus they usually let you know just how hot they find her on a charming 1-10 scale!).

To be totally fair, lesbian sexuality is not the same as male sexuality. You finding her hot dos not have the same connotations as a man finding her hot.

Intriguing. Care to elaborate on the difference?

Broadly, women's sexual desires and tastes aren't valued as much or aren't considered as powerful (or threatening) as men's. Men lusting after women = expected, powerful, scary, women lusting after women = broken or just dismissable.

I'm a bisexual woman, and it's like you and I aren't even living in the same reality.

That doesn't argue for a fundamental difference. It argues for the exact opposite! It argues that the construction and enactment of desire are different because of societal conditioning but the basic character of desire is the same.

Wow, have you MET people? You seem like you're typing this from a planet where there's no individuality.

I would say that men often express a creepy possessiveness along with their attraction. Like they own the body of the woman they are attracted to and they have a right to her body and to look at it whether she wants it or not. Not always, though. And sometimes I've heard something similar from women. Just less fequently.

And making generalizations based on gender is not sexist at all.

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philstar22 - 2016-02-11 02:26 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2016-02-11 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

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philstar22 - 2016-02-11 02:48 (UTC) - Expand

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philstar22 - 2016-02-11 03:06 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2016-02-11 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

But - again, not to be a pedant here, but I think it's a really important point - that's not a difference between male sexuality and female sexuality qua sexuality. It's a difference in the way that those sexualities are expressed, which is a function of socialization.

And the reason I think that distinction is important is because it impinges on the question of whether it's possible to have a male sexuality which isn't implicated in those things. Which I think is something that more or less all of us would be interested in existing.

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philstar22 - 2016-02-11 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2016-02-11 02:31 (UTC) - Expand

There's no gender difference in that at all. Some PEOPLE express creepy possessiveness. As someone who dates women I can guarantee women do it just as often as men.

... I have almost only ever seen female fans lose their shits and going on to spew hate, even going so far as to send threats, when a male celebrity they like gets a girlfriend or, god forbid, marries. So I don't buy this "most men are so possessive if they wanna duck someone, women aren't" at all.

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(Anonymous) - 2016-02-11 11:57 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2016-02-11 12:19 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2016-02-12 22:49 (UTC) - Expand

HAHAHAHAHA most en are creepy possessive in expressing their sexuality but the vast majority of women are angels.

It's funny, because I don't see men sending death threats to their celebrity crush's boyfriend. Women, on the other hand...

But yeah yeah, men are evil and creepy.

lol okay

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