fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3327 ]

[ SECRET POST #3327 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3327 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.

[Leonard Snart/Ray Palmer, DC's Legends of Tomorrow]

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03.

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04.

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05. [SPOILERS for Downton Abbey]

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06.[WARNING for suicide]

[Mare Internum]

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07. [WARNING for sexual assault]

[Love Live - sorry anon who wanted it Saturday, trying to keep the warning ones on Friday]

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08. [WARNING for rape, abuse, etc]

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09. [WARNING for rape/dub-con, child abuse]

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10. [WARNING for rape]

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11. [WARNING for underage sex]

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12. [WARNING for sexual abuse, child abuse]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #475.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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12. [WARNING for sexual abuse, child abuse]
http://i.imgur.com/Z8fzF8R.png

I'm sorry you have to go through this anon.

I understand you. I'm fed up with the concept of "perfect, holy family" too, because of personal reasons.

There are ok families, there are horrible ones. You can get along with all members of it, none of it or just a few of it. Like with all groups it depends on the people gathered in it. And I hate the naive idea that something has to be perfect just because it wears the label "family."

And if the fandom you mentioned makes you uncomfortable, avoid it. I don't think you're weird just because the idea of family weirds you out, especially if it is as artifically constructed as in the fandom you've mentioned.

OP
I have pretty much abandoned that section of fandom, which was tumblr. Which kind of sucks because I like tumblr's tag feeds for getting a mix of fandom stuff, especially fanart.

But on the plus side I went hunting and found a forum that seems a lot more my style. No mention of 'family', and I'm sure there are jerks but it seems to encourage a lot more healthy disagreement and less dogpiling over opinions.

But I mean I don't even ship one pairing, but they're two adults working together, if it was Criminal Minds they'd probably be Reid and Prentiss, and any time anything gets posted with them there's a chorus of how it's incest and pedo because they're the kids of the group and it's gross and abusive to ship them.

And the weird infantilization gets to me too. A recent-ish meta that was getting a lot of attention and reblogs was "When Prentiss-character has nightmares she goes to Rossi-character or Hotch-character and crawls into bed with them and they pet her hair and sing her lullabies to keep the nightmares away." And she's a grown professional woman and this is being treated seriously as actual canon meta of how she would act. I've gotten to where I can't stand any mention of the mom/dad pairing because it's so heavily associated with the 'family fanon' that it's causing the same sort of anxiety.

I'm planning to take a break for a while, and then lurk in the new forum a while and see if I can enjoy fandom for the show if they're not pushing the family stuff. And if not, my own mental health comes first.

That really sucks, OP. I mean, obviously your shitty childhood and the long-term trauma that it produced suck; but it also sucks that you're being triggered by what sounds like a fairly obnoxious and pushy fanbase.

It makes sense to me. For those who have been abused, it seems logical that portrayals of families and relatives could be triggering.

I don't have it half as bad as you, anon, but I've always had a pretty rocky relationship with my mum and I find it hard to watch mother-daughter shows (which sadly meant I couldn't watch Brave, though I've heard it was so good). I can't stand it when people say things like 'Everyone turns out like they're parents eventually' either, it's just depressing. It can be difficult to avoid a fandom you like, but I hope you can find a way of avoiding or blacklisting posts with people trying to push the family angle.

You're not wrong to be upset by this, OP.

Even without taking your personal history into account, there's something deeply creepy about accusing people of "pedophilia" because...they ship a different pair of adults than the accuser's preferred ship. It's manipulative, it's mean, it's about using the most emotionally fraught language possible in order to shame other fans into falling in line with what they want. Over shipping.

If you want to yell at these people, you have every right to. (Although if you just don't want to get involved, that's totally understandable.)

"t's manipulative, it's mean, it's about using the most emotionally fraught language possible in order to shame other fans into falling in line with what they want. Over shipping."

Thank you for putting into words how I've been feeling about pedo accusations for a while now. I see "pedo" being thrown around and I secretly felt like it was people using the most horrible accusation they could think of calling someone to whip up outrage.

It's the "witch hunt" mentality all over again.

ia. I've seen people call ships 'incest' just because they have a close family-like relationship, and while people can ship what they want, giving a ship such a serious label when it doesn't warrant it at all is ridiculous.

Agreed. It's fine if someone doesn't like a ship because they see it as sibling-esque, of course, but if the couple isn't actually related, then by definition, it's not incest. Period. End of story.

It can get to the point where you want to just hand these people who throw around terms like "incest" and "pedophilia" and whatnot a dictionary sometimes.

tumblr users sling around the "pedo" accusations for any little thing they don't like. it's fucking ridiculous.

I hate tumblr too, but I used to write Buffy/Giles back in the day (strictly when she was over 18 and out of school, natch). FFnet,yahoo boards, alt.tv - that kind of insane troll logic was all over there too, trust me. I even had one Spuffy fan tell me my children should be taken away because I shipped them.

All of this.

I can get someone not shipping a pair of characters because they come off as siblings to them so it'd weird them out, but unless they're actually related(or adopted into the family) it doesn't make the shipping of those characters incest in any way at all.

The pedophilia accusations when both characters are adults though is just plain fucking stupid, and I can't believe people genuinely buy into that bullshit when it's so clearly being used to stir up wank.

Oh, people do actually buy into it! Like in Undertale fandom, where some honestly believe aging up the MC - and I mean actually aging them up, not just saying "they're 18 lols" - to ship with one of the adult-in-canon characters and make porn with them is akin to "romanticizing pedophilia". Because nothing says pedo like broad shoulders, Adam's apple and bodyhair or a shapely figure with boobs and wide hips.

I get being squicked by it - I am by some of the pairings - but there's so many levels of wrong with that accusation that I don't know where to begin.

That fandom sounds crazy.

You have an understandable trigger. They sound very strange and trollish.

Is the fandom gintama?

Or Teen Wolf

Or Leverage?

Avengers?

Criminal Minds?

No, but I saw a post here in f!s that made me pretty glad I avoid the fandom for it, even though I love the show. It was something along the lines of - if you ship Hotch/Morgan you're disgusting, that's incest! Hotch is the team dad!

And I noped away from it pretty fast.

Yeah, I've encountered similar things with CM. Hotch is mom, Rossi is dad, the rest of the team are the children.

On the other hand, it was pretty funny when Prentiss (at least I think it was her) asked "Where are mom and dad?" referring to the two of them back in season.

I'm fine with it being done jokingly.

Sort of the difference between a character going "I don't need a baby, I already have a cat." and fandom running with it and insisting that she's violently childfree but also diapers and breastfeeds her cat and anyone who disagrees is WRONG and needs to be harassed.

(no subject)

dancing_serpent - 2016-02-13 22:20 (UTC) - Expand

As one abuse survivor to another, I'm sorry you went through that horrible shit. I went through a period where I wasn't so much turned off by family stuff, but I'd kind of look at it and feel sad, because none of that wonderful loving supportive stuff, where you always have a safe space to return to, never happened in my family.

But to be honest, that group you found sounds a little wacko. I mean, nothing wrong with considering a group of friends "family" (I do this myself) but being jerks to people with shipping preferences that don't match their own is kind of shitty.

I hope you get to a better place emotionally and that mentions of family get much less triggery for you.

omg that is legit rough stuff :'''/

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