[ SECRET POST #3332 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3332 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
(David Bowie)


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03.
(Great British Bake Off for Sports Relief, Ed Balls)


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04.
[Pokemon]


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05.
[Star Wars: TFA]


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06.
[Damian Lewis, Dick Winters, Band Of Brothers]


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07.
[Daughter of the Lilies]


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08.
[David Eddings]


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09.
[Sengoku Basara]


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10.
[JJBA]


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11.
[Men In Black I, II, III]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 022 secrets from Secret Submission Post #476.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I agree. I mean, from the start, I wondered how they could possibly make a successful Hobbit movie because I feel the plot is too episodic and not climactic enough to suit epic Hollywood tastes. It just doesn't lend itself to a movie well. I actually was excited to hear they'd be adding Appendix stuff and altering some stuff for that exact reason. But in the end, they basically made every worst possible choice. It was unnecessarily long, ridiculously boring and all the original dialogue was painful as fuck.

Though, I don't think they actually did badly at the box office. They must have made money, surely? So Silmarillion might also come some day... though I'm not sure how that would make a successful movie, either.

[philstar22]

This pretty much. And the Silmarillion wouldn't work as a movie or even a film series either. There are some stories that I think would work well. The Akallabeth for example I think would work well as a really dark movie. But for the most part I could only see it working in TV format, and then you could never have the budget to do it justice.

[(Anonymous)]

I always thought if they did the Silmarillion they could show the sinking of Numenor. How Sauron split the people there and all that.

[philstar22]

Yup. I think this is one of the parts that could be really cinematic. It would be pretty dark considering it involves human sacrifice and worshiping Melkor. But dark movies can be popular.

[(Anonymous)]

I read a pitch for the Akallabeth as the next LotR movie on Ardalambion, a website devoted to Tolkienian languages, years and years ago, when the first movies came out, and have been intrigued by it ever since.

sadly the link on the website is broken... not sure if the author took it down...

[(Anonymous)]

Never saw it, though I was wondering why the hell there were three movies.

[(Anonymous)]

$$$$

oops I mean Peter Jackson's genuine attempt at storytelling

(honestly I'd be less offended by the first choice)

[(Anonymous)]

It could have made a perfectly good single movie. But the moment it was going to be a trilogy, it was all over.

There were occasional good parts in the first movie, where they stuck closely to the book (the dwarves at Bilbo's house, the entire scene with Gollum) but it was so bloated and awful.

[philstar22]

I think it could have been good as two. Give you enough time to care about the characters more than just a single movie would allow. And you could add some of the things that are actually in canon like what Gandalf was off doing in Dol Goldur. But leave out all the extra pointless non-canon stuff.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm still skeptical. I mean, it could have been a movie or two movies, sure. But it doesn't really have a great formula for a typical movie, anyway. It's more like a series of rather isolated events that are more quirky and light-hearted (being a kids' book and all) and even the dragon bits aren't that climactic (some other guy not related to the main cast until this point shots the dragon, etc).

And that's not even considering how to make it fit into LOTR-universe, because you basically have to do that. You can't pretend orcs don't exist in this universe, the film really had to be directly a prequel to the existing LOTR movies, unlike the novel. So instead, you're left with trying to fit in darker, larger-world material to make it more coherent and compatible with LOTR, while still balancing the goofy adventures of Bilbo and Co.

I don't think it was an easy job. Granted, Peter Jackson did it exceptionally badly, imo, but it still seemed like a losing battle to me.

[(Anonymous)]

I went with one movie because then they could have cut it into a movie-shaped narrative. It doesn't have to be as linked into LOTR as they made it, not at all. Gandalf is enough there.

But yes, Jackson and co did do it exceptionally poorly.

How to make a Hobbit movie...

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Easy questions:

1. Is this scene about Bilbo? If no, cut it without mercy.
2. Is Bilbo the focal character? If no, cut every other line.
3. Does it involve Bilbo being Bilbo? Keep and polish it until it glows.

Re: How to make a Hobbit movie...

[(Anonymous)]

lol true. I think that was my criticism of the movies. Bilbo was hardly featured, despite supposedly being the protagonist. His role was reduced to being a symbol of home and simpler things in life (contrasting the "real" characters who are caught up in fighting and glory), rather than a character on his own.

Re: How to make a Hobbit movie...

[a_potato]

Your guide is a good and righteous one.