[ SECRET POST #3349 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3349 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[X/1999]










Notes:

Early today, places to go!

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 060 secrets from Secret Submission Post #479.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - random memes with no secrets in them ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What sexualities and gender identites do you believe exist?

[(Anonymous)]

Homosexual, Bisexual, Pansexual, Asexual.

Male, Female, in very rare cases gender-neutral.

I think non-binary and genderfluid are just the current hip ways for people to say "I'm not like the other girls/boys". The only cases where I could get behind someone actually being non-binary is if that person is intersex.

Re: What sexualities and gender identites do you believe exist?

[(Anonymous)]

SA - obviously forgot heterosexual.

Re: What sexualities and gender identites do you believe exist?

[(Anonymous)]

"I think non-binary and genderfluid are just the current hip ways for people to say "I'm not like the other girls/boys"."

THIS A THOUSAND TIMES. I absolutely do not and never will believe that ~agender~ or ~genderfluid~ are actual things. What they are imo is people who are so incredibly stuck on the idea of gender essentialism that they are literally incapable of understanding that even if your behavior/interests/personality doesn't match the cardboard cookie-cutter stereotype of your assigned-at-birth gender, YOU CAN STILL BE THAT GENDER AND THAT IS OKAY. You are not a special snowflake who needs a whole new sparkly special gender just because you aren't a stereotype.

Re: What sexualities and gender identites do you believe exist?

[(Anonymous)]

I disagree. If someone (particularly an adult someone who has a long history of identifying as agender) tells me they just don't identify with either gender at all - to the extent that it feels inaccurate for them to call themself a woman/man, I see no reason not to give them the benefit of the doubt.

You are not a special snowflake who needs a whole new sparkly special gender just because you aren't a stereotype.

To me, this reasoning feels sort of like the many, many people who believe asexual people are just really, really picky, when it's not the same thing at all. Not desiring people because you are extremely particular is not the same as not desiring people because whatever mechanism it is that makes desire happen is just not a functioning mechanism in your case.

Similarly, not identifying as a particular gender as a way of rejecting gender essentialism and differentiating yourself is not the same as not identifying as a particular gender because whatever mechanism it is that causes people to identify as a particular gender is just not a functioning mechanism in your case.

(Not agendered, for the record.)

Re: What sexualities and gender identites do you believe exist?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, but I just don't see how "I don't identify with a gender stereotype so I must be a WHOLE NEW GENDER" is in any way an actual rejection of gender essentialism. If anything it's an acceptance of it, because that person is saying that in order to be the gender they were assigned at birth they would HAVE to fit into a specific mold and they don't, so SPARKLES AND NEW IMAGINARY GENDERS! Literally every person I have ever seen claim to be agender has talked about how they feel agender because they don't check off boxes a-b-c on the gender essentialism checklist. Which means they buy into it hook line and sinker, and are basing their identity off of it.

Re: What sexualities and gender identites do you believe exist?

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, but I just don't see how "I don't identify with a gender stereotype so I must be a WHOLE NEW GENDER" is in any way an actual rejection of gender essentialism.

I'm not arguing that it is, though? Like, at all. Your argument is that people who claim to be agender are seeing the very essentialist way that gender is often represented, and rejecting gender because they mistakenly believe that's what gender is. And maybe that's why some people - such as yourself - believe(d) themselves to be agender.

But just because that was your experience doesn't mean that's what's going on with everyone who identifies as agender. It seems pretty close-minded to assume that everyone who identifies as agender has simply mistaken gender essentialist depictions of gender for What Gender Is and so rejects gender entirely.

What is so hard to believe about the idea that for some people, the gender mechanism (i.e. whatever happens in our brains that makes us feel that we are a woman or a man) just doesn't function?

And maybe every agender person you've come across has had a very gender essentialist (mis)understanding of gender, but that's certainly not been my experience.

Re: What sexualities and gender identites do you believe exist?

[(Anonymous)]

Same anon here, hit post too soon

I have personal experience with this as well, because I was one of those people. I thought I must not REALLY be female, because I didn't fit in the little box marked "how all females are" that I had bought into. When I got out into the real world i.e. left my bedroom and talked to people who weren't snowflake bloggers, I realized that I didn't have to fit into that box to be female, and that I wasn't some special snowflake with a ~*~unique gender experience~*~ just because I ~wasn't like other girls.~