[ SECRET POST #432 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #432 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 169 secrets from Secret Submission Post #062.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, [ 1 2 3 ] not!secrets, 0 not!fandom, [ 1 2 3 4 ] too big, [ 1 2 ] repeat, [ 1 ] personal attack, [ 1 ] wank-related.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: tl;dr omg

[(Anonymous)]

This might explain why most of the RPers for the fandom are pretty terrible.

Okay, if you don't like a series, we get it, but why are you bothering to RP it? And how are you RPing it? I'm just curious. Because apparently, you haven't gotten up to the "serious business" aspect of it or anything.

Re: tl;dr omg

[case]

http://community.livejournal.com/khrdressingroom/31108.html

I'm Yamamoto. Crit me! (:

Re: tl;dr omg

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I'll be honest. Your writing style (everyone's in that post, actually) is beautiful, but there's no voice to it (specifically: yours). Even if he's TYL!Yamamoto, he doesn't have a feel to him that makes a connection between the past and the future (the Gokudera does a very good job in drawing the connection, of the ones in that post). He doesn't have a very distinct feel to him.

It's hard to play someone who has just a few lines, but you need to give enough to him to make him feel ... three-dimensional. He's TYL!Yamamoto, so it's a little harder to tell.

And since I know the "no voice" thing isn't going to sound clear—I meant more a voice that makes it feel like that character. It just seems very bland overall. Good writing, nice prose, but it falls flat. It's how a lot of good writers seem when they aren't as good with a character.

Re: tl;dr omg

[case]

Thanks, I'll work on it! And thanks for the compliment on the writing, too. (:

The connection between the past and the future, though, I purposely sort of left out, since Yamamoto's the kind of guy that would, you know, move on, and not cling like Gokudera. I'm not writing it because he's not thinking it -- or well, he does think about it a few times, but he's trying not to dwell. Whenever the past comes up, he's kind of like yeah, it happened. But we have to keep going. He's the only one in that post that's kind of just trying to go with the flow and take things as they come with optimism, which I think would be a trait of his, child and TYL. Yeah, he's not really overflowing with outward personality TYL -- but... he isn't, that is, not supposed to be. He's gotten deeper, quieter. They all have, haven't they?

But thanks again for the crit! I'll be thinking about it when I post next, and stuff. Hopefully I haven't been lumped into the "bad Reborn RPers" set yet!