fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3375 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3375 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Anna Russell]

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02.

[Versailles TV Series]

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03.

[Jurassic Park, Robert Muldoon]

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04.

[Iggy Pop]

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05.

(Person of Interest)

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06.

[Knight Rider, Michael/KITT]

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07.

[The Division]

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08.

[Song referenced in secret: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlCZ-DakfyE (Kaleo- "Way Down We Go")]

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09.

[One Punch Man, Saitama, Genos]

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10.

[Haikyuu]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 019 secrets from Secret Submission Post #482.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anyone can find a person who thinks they're beautiful. The issue is that beauty is entirely subjective and we live in a society that only pushes the kind that's barely achievable by anybody (so it can sell you shit)

You can't guarantee liking what you see in the mirror, but odds are you can find somebody who disagrees with your criticisms.

Edited 2016-04-01 05:07 (UTC)

That's only an "issue" if you buy into it. Imagine if women took all the time and energy they spend complaining about beauty standards and applied it to their own self-esteem.

You... do realize sometimes people treat you shittily despite you not caring, right?

I mean it's been demonstrated that women not buying into this stuff get passed over for jobs and things like that.

You can't just say "oh well I don't give a fuck!" without consequences. The consequences might be worth it but they're still there.

Boo hoo.

Is this part of your edgy teen rp?

Just curious: when you say "it has been demonstrated" by what measure do you mean? The only studies I could find on the subject either found that both attractive men and women were perceived as more desirable hires (which, while it sucks, is not a double standard) and one that found that conventionally attractive women were actually less likely to land interviews if they attached a photo to their resume.

I know that in my personal life I've been told ad nauseum that if I didn't "play the game" and slather on makeup and heels and whatnot I'd never be hired, wouldn't get promoted, etc., so I tried that to start. But at some point I just ran out of fucks. Wore pants, no makeup, boots, even to interviews. I actually got hired/promoted more! Mind you this is anecdotal, and I've mostly worked in STEM/academic/now the military, i.e. places where women who put a lot of emphasis on their looks might be seen as flightier or dumber or whatever, but I've done it in business and hospitality jobs before and seriously no one has given a single fuck.

In fact, the only people who even noticed were other women.

Wait, people actually attach photos to their resume? Like for an office job?

I know it's considered strange to the point of unethical in Canada and the US, but in many countries - including Japan - it's de rigeur.

Yeah, a lot of job postings I'm seeing specifically ask people not to do so (which means they must be trying).

However in the era of Linkedin we're effectively attaching images anyway, aren't we? They're going to check out your profile and see a picture.

I was looking at studies but yeah, those were gender neutral. However it should be remembered that it's very dependent on field. So as an academic looking like I spend too much time on my looks could actually hurt me a lot--similar to your situation. But I still have to look good. I have to make an effort to look effortlessly good, which... ain't effortless. We spend a lot of time caring about looking like we don't care.

One of the only bad reviews I ever got from a student included criticism of what I wore that semester. Those reviews count; if someone's giving me low scores for that I can say it's stupid, but their scores still contribute to my averages.

In fact, the only people who even noticed were other women.

Are you sure about that? One of the only ways to avoid being seen as a "fake" for women among men is to not look too feminine. Are they not noticing or just not saying anything? "Look, she's not wearing makeup and has boots on! She's authentic, unlike equally qualified Karen over there in the skirt and lipstick."

Edited 2016-04-02 19:37 (UTC)

Hahaha holy shit, I forgot how many times you edit your replies.

Well, my guess is that they legitimately didn't notice, since these are the kind of guys who'd go "see? you look great without makeup!" to a woman wearing a full face of it, only in natural-looking colors.

As for the women, they noticed and were almost inevitably impressed that I refused to play the game. My last boss in hospitality was a woman and as far as she figured, when she hired me, I'd be "taken more seriously" in dealing with an unruly guest if I wasn't perfectly primped and in heels. She had plenty of soft, fuzzy, welcoming female staff already and wanted someone to lay the bitch smack down or escort someone off the property. Even in my new profession, a female captain told me she wished she had the guts to go bare-faced like I do, but social pressure, expectations of looking a certain way from her husband, family, etc.... Idk I usually get along really well with female bosses/coworkers and they've never said anything bad about my fashion choices. The males never have anything to say about them at all.

The only exception was buzzing my hair off for basic training. That the women were a little wigged out by, but the guys were all "hell yeah!", "if we have to do it, you should to!" It has definitely influenced male perception of me in a directly noticeable way, both among the ranks and among superior officers, and I honestly just might keep it like this because of that, as the overwhelming majority of my colleagues will now be men. So who knows, I'm not past that kind of behavior myself.

[ SECRET POST #3375 ]

It's bullshit, but:

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