[ SECRET POST #3396 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3396 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Robert DeNiro]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #485.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

Inspired by a few posts I've seen here and there:
If a sex-repulsed asexual is dating a non-asexual (I forget the term), is it reasonable for them to say, "I hate having sex, but you can't have sex with anyone else"?

On one hand, I don't think anyone's entitled to sex; but if the non-asexual parter wants sex and their only options are a) sex with someone who hates sex, or b) infidelity, I think that's a bit unreasonable?

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, it's not like there isn't a third option: end the relationship so both parties can be with someone who fulfills their needs. It's reasonable to not want to have sex if you hate having it and it's reasonable to not want to be cheated on, but it seems illogical to expect someone to be in a sexless relationship if sex is an important part of a relationship for them. It seems like it would eventually just cause resentment. I don't enjoy enjoy sex and I would never be with a partner who considers sex to be integral to a relationship because I would feel too guilty. I would much rather want to be with someone who shared my lack of desire for sex because then I would at least know that we're both happy (or if we're unhappy then at least it wouldn't be because of sex)

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

I agree. I wouldn't date someone who wants sex, bc it would be such a mismatch for me. It's not an area I'm willing or able to try to change, but I also don't expect a non ace to change for me. IDK if that ever works.

It does narrow prospects a bit, eh? 🍓 But that's true for any rarer orientation (and many straight people still have trouble finding a good relationship).

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

All relationships are a give and take and compromises - and sometimes you can't compromise. And that's when you break up. People are allowed to have hardlines in their relationships (ie cannot have sex, cannot go without sex), and if they don't meet up, you break up, for both or your own well beings.

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

it's reasonable for them to say that

it's also reasonable for their partner to laugh in their face and end what will no doubt be a fucked up, unfulfilling relationship for both parties

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

Depends entirely on the relationship in question.

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

No, it is not reasonable for an asexual to demand celibacy from their romantic partner.

It's perfectly reasonable for them to refuse to have sex with their partner themself, but if they're also adamant that their partner not sleep with anyone else, they should probably stick to dating other asexuals who won't be troubled by this.

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

You forgot c) break up.

Re: Asexuals dating non-asexuals

[(Anonymous)]

The term I commonly hear for non-asexuals is "allosexual".

Though I believe that it is a bit unreasonable to say that. I'm not even a sex-repulsed asexual but if it's something my partner and I can't agree with, I'd rather they find someone more suited for them just as I need to be with someone more suited for me.