case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2016-04-29 06:31 pm

[ SECRET POST #3404 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3404 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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18. [SPOILERS for Bleach]




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19. [SPOILERS for Sleepy Hollow]




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20. [SPOILERS for Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma]




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21. [WARNING for incest, rape/non-con]





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22. [WARNING for sexual assault]

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #486.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree with that, but so many people are offended and appalled when a parent doesn't love their children that there must be people who disagree with us.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think anyone is entitled to love anyone. But I think if you have a child and at least don't pretend to love them, you are a pretty terrible person.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Again I'm agreeing with you, but some people think that children deserve real love and are entitled to it by parents.

It's no joke that one of the biggest fears of new or expecting mothers is "what if I don't love my child like everyone says I should and must"
sparrow_lately: (Default)

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-04-29 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
A parent owes their child behavior that looks like love. A parent owes their child care, compassion, patience, respect, kindness, warmth, generosity, and humor. But loved can't be forced.

Also, children can mistreat their parents. Children can hurt their parents to the point their parents are hard-pressed to give them all those things I listed above. Parents are people; so are kids.

But by having a child, a parent takes on the responsibility to have vast reserves of "things that look like love," if not actual love (tho, why not) for their child.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Again I'm agreeing with you, but some people think that children deserve real love and are entitled to it by parents.
sparrow_lately: (Default)

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-04-29 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean....children do deserve real love. I'd like to hear a fully valid excuse for not loving, or at least endeavoring, to love one's child.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you feel that children are entitled to their parents love?

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
That's fine. Thanks for the clarification and reply.

I was asking this question because lots of people throw around "nobody is *entitled* to love from anybody else!!!!!" around and I see all these people agreeing.
sparrow_lately: (Default)

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-04-29 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah.

I mean....what is love? (Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.) I listed the things I think a child is entitled to from a parent above. It's that's not love I guess I don't know what is. If a parent does all those things in sincerity and kindness, tells the child they are loved, and somehow still privately insists they don't love the kid, that's....their prerogative, I guess?

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I asked because you literally just stated "You cannot be entitled to love." at the top of this thread.

You can treat beings with kindness and fairness and equality without loving them as a child. They can be a responsibility that you feel dutiful toward, without a personal emotional commitment. For example lots of new or expecting moms fear that they won't love their child and lots of mothers that do *not* love their child but are doing their best to be good mothers to them fear being honest about it to anyone.
sparrow_lately: (Default)

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-04-29 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
TBH I took your question in the sense of non-familial love, as in people dating and the like. Parents owe their children as much love as they possibly can give. Even if it's hard.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-29 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
That was exactly why I put the familial versions in the original post, so people wouldn't be confused.

It seems I disagree with you - ariakas put what I feel into words down below - but I'm not here to argue about that, just about the notion of being entitled to love. Thanks for replying.
sparrow_lately: (Default)

[personal profile] sparrow_lately 2016-04-29 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Fair nuff!

NAYRT

(Anonymous) 2016-05-01 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
Yes! Absolutely!

(Anonymous) 2016-04-30 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
This is everything I wanted to say, but you said it better than I would have. :)

(Anonymous) 2016-04-30 08:09 am (UTC)(link)
One of the things I think is interesting about this debate is that OP seems to make such a distinction between - on one hand - love as a feeling, and on the other hand, as you put it - a behavior that looks like love. OP appears to view love as, essentially, purely the feeling, while viewing the behavior that looks like love as merely that - something that looks like love but isn't the thing itself.

Whereas I don't really make that distinction. As I see it, love - as it concerns other people - is first and foremost a behavior. There is absolutely a substantial feeling component to it as well, but that feeling component is, among other things, entirely subjective. The outward behavior of love is the part of love that can be observed and measured, and is the part that actually has an impact on those we love.

Therefore, it's the behavior of love that I find relevant to this discussion. Which I think is essentially what you were speaking of in your initial comment.

(Anonymous) 2016-04-30 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
Shit. Did not mean to emphasize that entire last bit. I'm not that dramatic. :P

(Anonymous) 2016-04-30 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
Parents who don't love their children are failures as human beings.