[ SECRET POST #3406 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3406 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #487.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Why specifically women?

I think there's a difference between being persistent and being creepy and that difference needs to be addressed more directly. Because honestly there's nothing wrong with trying again, but there are obviously boundaries.

A good example is in, of all things, the video game Tomodachi Life. Your Miis can express that they want to date another, and if the other declines them, the pursuant either sulks for a few minutes until you cheer them up or they try one more time. If they're declined a second time, they let it go. I think that's a nice illustration of the difference.

Also it's shown as gender neutral.

[(Anonymous)]

do you really have to ask why women if you live in the real world though? the concept that men should be "given a chance" if they try hard enough, or persist, isn't something that exists the other way around. it's the plot of so so many movies.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it does happen with men. I'm not sure how you don't notice. Just because in movies it tends to be one-sided doesn't mean it doesn't happen with anyone in the real world.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sure a handful of sexist things happen to men, culturally though those handfuls of cases don't really compare to a culture-wide sense of entitlement and the way we raise girls to give in to pressures from boys. I don't deny it may happen to some men, but I think it's fairly obvious why the conversation revolves around men doing it to women.

[(Anonymous)]

You're writing so much bullshit.

[diet_poison]

They are not.

It's almost exclusively played "man pursues, women caves" in media. IRL some women are very persistent, but you don't even tend to see the same peer response given to those situations. Persistent woman = "oh man she is so desperate". Persistent man = "so romantic!". They are absolutely treated differently in (western, at least) culture.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know what media you're consuming but I usually see "persistant woman is spunky and free spirited and will get what she wants"

[(Anonymous)]

Because I wrote it up as a personal squick and wasn't thinking that people might see it as a judgment of the tropes in general. I don't like it when it's the guy saying no, but it doesn't squick me as much. Maybe because it's usually played for laughs and she's pretty clearly not meant to be sympathetic, like Timmy and Trudy from Fairly Odd Parents.

The woman saying no thing just so ridiculously common in media I didn't even think it would ping as a general negative thing. Even just yesterday I'm playing Avengers Academy on my phone and it's -
Tony: Want to go out sometime?
Pepper: Eww, no, you're so immature and annoying. I'd never date you.
And then I upgraded Pepper's armor, which in the game story means Tony's doing it.
Pepper: Wow, I really love this new armor, Tony. Maybe I was wrong about you and we should go out!

And I spent a lot of time being very disappointed at the game.

[diet_poison]

Ugh. The whole idea that women are universally interested in men who are strong/rich/whatever and that a man acquiring one or more of these traits will always cause women to change their minds - SO annoying.