fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3415 ]

[ SECRET POST #3415 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3415 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

By drawing firmer boundaries and enforcing them, which is a lot harder than it sounds. My guess is that your mother is lonely and insecure about your relationship, which makes her cling to you tenaciously... which is putting strain on the relationship and will blow up in her face, but she doesn't see that. A few suggestions:

* establish a weekly or bi-weekly time in which you'll call her and catch up on what you're doing. Not for hours, mind you. 15-20 minutes, tops. When the time's up, say "Well, I have to go, love you, talk to you later Mom!" and hang up.

* But the rest of the time, you're going to be busy with work/personal life/that new hobby you've conveniently started and you cannot take her calls every day whenever she feels like it. Mark what times are off-limits, in which you tell her explicitly that you won't be taking calls. Not just her calls, ANY calls. (That part can be a white lie.) Unless it's an emergency, she needs to save up her conversation for your weekly/bi-weekly call.

* If you're okay with this tell her that you'll text her when you get back from nights out or whatever. No phone calls. Text. Along these lines, maybe figure out if you're comfortable updating her on the trivialities of your life via text/photos so she'll have the benefit of hearing a one-way communication from you, but without the burden of a long conversation.

* strongly encourage her to pursue a life outside of her home and you. If your mom had friends of her own and fulfilling hobbies, she wouldn't be constantly calling you.

This this this this this

I had a mother like that, OP (she passed way a few years ago) and our relationship was unhealthy as fuck and I'm still dealing with the fallout and struggling to assert my boundaries with everyone in my life even to this day.

You are not responsible for her emotinal equilibrium and frankly, she is fucking up as a mother by doing this to you. You don't have to stand for it!

that's great advice. you're doing her a favor if you establish boundaries, OP. you'll like her more for it and that will improve your relationship.

OP

Thanks for the tips! We're definitely going to be having a talk once my dad is recovered and things in her life are a bit more calm.

About texting, she's actually fine with a text or call, it's more me that would rather call. She texts as much as most teenagers, so one text can easily turn into 50 with her. It's actually easier to call because I can get her off the phone quicker than I can get her to stop texting.

As for her having friends/hobbies, she has a ton of a friends and a really demanding/stressful job so it's not like she's a bored housewife with nothing to do but bug me. Most of the time we talk on the phone she's complaining how she's soooo busy and can't seem to get such and such project done and I want to say "then get off the phone and go work on it!"

She can definitely annoying but it's not as big a deal as I realize now that I made it seem in the original post...I'd already had a difficult day and that was kind of just the final thing to make me lose it. I guess I really was just looking to vent my frustrations, which I realize now in hindsight.

Anyway, thanks for your advice, and I will definitely be using it in the future!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3415 ]

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?

Re: Does anyone else have a mother this overprotective/crazy?