fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3420 ]

[ SECRET POST #3420 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3420 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Banana Fish]

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Notes:

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So I had some friends who have been married for about five years (let's call them T and H) and have been going through a rough patch. They had separated, and H was living downstairs in my house, but the relationship might have still been salvageable.

It's not anymore. They are now officially getting a divorce, because late Friday night, H cheated on T.

H cheated on T with my mother's best friend, a woman who is 35 years older than him (let's call her F). Now, T and H's relationship was kind of open, but with an explicit "we have to discuss it first before anything can happen" rule. F was NOT on the list of people it was okay for H to sleep with. F, along with my mom, has been one of only a handful of people T has felt comfortable talking about the situation with, so she cannot claim ignorance here.

F has been like another mother to me, and to T as well. It's not a good feeling, to lose so much respect for someone in one fell swoop. I will never be able to see her in the same light. Especially since she keeps changing her story as to what happened and keeps trying to deflect all of the blame on to H. I'm sorry, F, bipolar is not an excuse for something like this. Fucking everyone who lives in this house is mentally ill, but surprise! I managed not to fuck my friend's husband.

I live with my mom, and F is still here because mom is afraid that if she goes home she might kill herself, so all of the drama is staying right in my house. I cannot escape it, and now I'm having suicidal thoughts and I'm not the one who was directly involved in this.

I feel so selfish, like I'm making this all about me when I wasn't the one who was harmed by it. But the last 48 hours have completely wrecked all my sources of emotional support, and I have had three years of terrible shit happening to me and people I care about. I'm so furious because THIS was something that could have been avoided if either F or H had acted like FUCKING ADULTS.

Wow, that's completely awful.

Gosh, I'm sorry! That really is some crazy drama, and pretty immature behavior. Can you try to stay out of the house a bit?

Tomorrow I'm taking my laptop and staying at the library until closing time, 'cause I just can't deal right now.

Ugh, so sorry. I hope all involved parties can own up to their responsibility in this mess. Unless it wasn't consensual, F can't really argue it was an accident. I hope she takes it to therapy to unpack her role in it, and I hope you can carve out some quiet some for self care.

Funny you should mention that, because F keeps changing the story. First it was because "it's been such a long time since anyone held me while I cried". Then it was her bipolar. As of this evening, she's claiming she had taken Ambien and that H took advantage of her. When this morning she was saying that she'd had a long talk with H about it afterwards and they both agreed it was a one-time thing and shouldn't ever happen again.

I honestly have no idea whether to believe her or not, because their story is just so inconsistent. I don't want to believe that H is the kind of scum who could rape someone, and I don't want to believe that F is the kind of scum who could lie about being raped to wiggle out of responsibility. But now one of those things is the case.

That's just terrible. :( Though not uncommon. Lots of people who cheat (or who enable cheating) find it difficult to face up to the fact that yeah, you made a bad choice for selfish reasons. You wanted to fuck someone so you did, and now you're feeling regrets because people found out and judging you for it so you come up with all sorts of excuses and rationalizations.

That's why cheaters often say things like, "it just happened" or "one thing led to another" as if they had no agency or choice in the matter. It's pathetic.

Oh man, I have not been above sneaking out and spending the night or weekend at a friend's place for a while, in that kind of situation. The tension is AWFUL. You have my sympathies.

Relationship drama is the WORST.

If I hadn't totaled my car last year, I'd be doing just that. This is the worst environment that my own house has been since my dad was in it dying of brain cancer.

WELP. I hope you have a convenient library or gym nearby that you can hide out at... that's what I had to do last time my living situation became unbearable. (I eventually ended up leaving my rent and expenses check and camping out in an completely empty house of a friend for a month, just to get the fuck out of there.) I hope you can get out or things calm down soon!

Holy shit, that's awful! I'd be pretty fucking furious, too!

And it just keeps getting worse with every new conversation.

Ugh, I'm so sorry. :( I don't think you should feel bad about being angry or about recognizing the emotional toll this is taking on you. Sounds like people are being pretty inconsiderate, of you and of the other people around them.

It's a bad feeling to be let down by people you trusted to not do terrible things. :/

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[ SECRET POST #3420 ]

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Re: My house was the center of Jerry Springer-level drama this weekend

Re: My house was the center of Jerry Springer-level drama this weekend

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Re: My house was the center of Jerry Springer-level drama this weekend