[ SECRET POST #3455 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3455 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early because places to go!

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 66 secrets from Secret Submission Post #494.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Random Thoughts & Questions

[(Anonymous)]

Dare I ask - what kind of behavior are you recognizing in yourself as abusive?

Re: Random Thoughts & Questions

[(Anonymous)]

I come from a family where screaming at each other and throwing things was how problems were dealt with. I also have a hideous temper and I get incredibly nasty and verbally cutting when angry. My partner doesn't cope well with people being angry and loses all ability to form sentences when they're upset.

It's a very bad mix. My temper as improved since we started dating as I've been trying to quash it but... it's not enough. And I'm starting to think that the way that I deal with our arguments is tantamount to abuse.

Re: Random Thoughts & Questions

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like you are trying to get better. I think therapy would be extremely beneficial to you. Talk to your partner about it as well.

Re: Random Thoughts & Questions

[(Anonymous)]

I hope so. I'm going to give it a try. My partner doesn't think there's anything wrong but I think that's because they have zero self esteem. :( (They have their own messed up family background.)

Re: Random Thoughts & Questions

[(Anonymous)]

Definitely enroll in some anger management and therapy in general. Try and see if your relationship is salvageable - but also understand if it isn't. Its good that you recognize that its a problem, so you can try and change, but also understand that you should really want to change and not just seem better so your partner will stay with you.

You could probably do individual therapy and couples therapy, if you can afford it. It sounds like your partner may have issues too (that could be projecting - but I am someone who also shuts down when people scream at me, and in my case its due to childhood trauma I suffered.)

Re: Random Thoughts & Questions

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you, good advice. I do want to change, very much so. Not just for them, but because I don't want to be the person I currently am.

Re: Random Thoughts & Questions

[(Anonymous)]

Well, if you're screaming and throwing things, that's not really a great way to deal with anger, period. It's definitely something you should consider therapy for, regardless of whether or not your partner thinks it's abuse.