fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3472 ]

[ SECRET POST #3472 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3472 ⌋

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Should I go to m work's "summer drink" tomorrow? It basically means leaving home early (I do evening shifts).

I don't like the job nor really want to socialize with the people there, though there might be free food/drinks.

*shitty student voice* free food is always worth it

Not certain about the food though, might just be drinks.

Hmm. Well in that case I'd make the call on the day of based on how tired you are/how much energy you have.

Edit: I just saw that you don't really like the people. In that case, unless you want some kind of proper In with somebody at work and this would be a good chance to make a nice impression, I'd say save your energy.

Edited 2016-07-06 23:36 (UTC)

Re: Questions/Advice

kallanda_lee - 2016-07-06 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Questions/Advice

sparrow_lately - 2016-07-06 23:39 (UTC) - Expand

Depends how much you dislike the job/people. If you actively dislike them, it might not be worth your bother. If you're more just meh, then a summer evening out with free food/drink could be a nice change to your schedule.

I hate the job. The people - some are okay, but I see them as temporary so purposefully not getting close.

then fuck the drinks you can get those at home

enjoy your Me Time

If you're planning on bailing from the job anytime soon, stay the fuck home, so not worth it.

Well, I hope to. but I certainly do not want to "advance" there.

How do you deal with a very close family member possibly moving away?

My sister has gotten pretty far into a relationship. I'm happy for her but I think she will be taking a step in a couple months to move away. Since she has started dating him, I've seen less and less of her. I used to see her 3-4 times a week (she'd eat over, we'd spend the weekend together playing games, etc).

Now, I see her 1-2 times a week when she is stopping by to pick up her dog (he stays at my house on during the workday). She spends most weekends at the BF's town (two hours away) and when she is here, he also is. He's a great guy but she is always focused on him. Even when he isn't here she is constantly watching her phone to text/call him.

My sister is the person I am closest to in the world. I've had to support her through her break ups, depression, alcoholism, and suicidal behavior. But now we barely talk or interact. And I feel like I can't bring up how lonely, depressed, and resentful I feel without bringing her out of her happier life.

I know she will be moving away soon and I need someway to prepare myself for that.

As someone who once really fell apart when a very close sibling moved away: embrace it. Accept that things are going to change, that your relationship is changing, and instead of trying to preserve the relationship as it is or keep up the same level of contact, focus on the good--both for your sister, and for you. This is a chance for you both to grow in new ways and find new good things outside of your relationship. That doesn't negate that relationship, just adds to it.

It sounds like you've been a really solid support to her for a long time, and no longer being needed might feel really weird (and shitty). But defining yourself/your life in terms of how much you can give to somebody else is almost never a good idea. Her moving away might actually be a good opportunity for you to gain a little distance from that, and find more happiness of your own unattached to her.

MTE

"I've had to support her through her break ups, depression, alcoholism, and suicidal behavior. But now we barely talk or interact.And I feel like I can't bring up how lonely, depressed, and resentful I feel without bringing her out of her happier life."

After everything you've done for her, the least she can do is listen to you and help you feel better and talk to you about your feelings. Your feelings are just as important as hers and deserve just as much time and love. If you can take time out of your day to deal with heavy, depressing family things for her, then she can and should do the same.

It's tough when someone you're close to moves away. My advice is to focus on quality time rather quantity. Talk to your sister - WITHOUT any accusatory baggage about how she's neglecting you for her bf. Say how much you miss spending time with her and ask her over for sibling bonding time once a week.

Then spend the rest of your free time pursuing interests you have, on your own. Actively seek new friends.

I want to move. I know it is harder than saying, "I want to move." But, I want to. And to get started, I'd like to move someplace with a pretty good public transport system. I don't have a license so public transport would be a huge boon.

I have a degree in education that I've not used in a couple years. So obviously, a city that might have a good job outlook as well (I would like to find a job before I go).

The real question is, can you afford to live in a city that has decent public transportation? Because there aren't too many that aren't expensive to live in.

If I get a job, I hope so. I am very frugal (and good at budgeting). I have a $3,000 saved up for no reason in particular.

Re: Cities with great public transport

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-07 04:37 (UTC) - Expand

What country

US.

Re: Cities with great public transport

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-07 00:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Cities with great public transport

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-07 01:03 (UTC) - Expand

What country, where are you now, do you have license to teach? (In the US, each state individually licenses teachers, but private schools can get around that)

Do you have any savings?

USA. I live in Nebraska. I have a license to teach in Nebraska and Alabama. I could probably get one fairly easy in whatever state I move to but I would have to look it up.

I have $3000 in savings.

Re: Cities with great public transport

shortysc22 - 2016-07-07 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Cities with great public transport

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-07 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Cities with great public transport

shortysc22 - 2016-07-07 00:51 (UTC) - Expand

Portland, Oregon has a public transit system that we're very proud of. It's recently expanded significantly to be even better. However, housing prices have been rising sharply here lately, so that's rough.

I live in Washington DC and I don't even own a car anymore because I don't need one here. The downside is that it is somewhat on the expensive side, but the plus is also that our minimum wage is $10.50 and it's going up to $15 by 2020.

Ames, Iowa? We have a good public transportation system, and $3000 would equal about 3-4 months' rent plus a security deposit. And it looks like the school district is hiring.

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