[ SECRET POST #3472 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3472 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 19 secrets from Secret Submission Post #496.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Questions/Advice

[(Anonymous)]

How do you deal with a very close family member possibly moving away?

My sister has gotten pretty far into a relationship. I'm happy for her but I think she will be taking a step in a couple months to move away. Since she has started dating him, I've seen less and less of her. I used to see her 3-4 times a week (she'd eat over, we'd spend the weekend together playing games, etc).

Now, I see her 1-2 times a week when she is stopping by to pick up her dog (he stays at my house on during the workday). She spends most weekends at the BF's town (two hours away) and when she is here, he also is. He's a great guy but she is always focused on him. Even when he isn't here she is constantly watching her phone to text/call him.

My sister is the person I am closest to in the world. I've had to support her through her break ups, depression, alcoholism, and suicidal behavior. But now we barely talk or interact. And I feel like I can't bring up how lonely, depressed, and resentful I feel without bringing her out of her happier life.

I know she will be moving away soon and I need someway to prepare myself for that.

Re: Questions/Advice

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who once really fell apart when a very close sibling moved away: embrace it. Accept that things are going to change, that your relationship is changing, and instead of trying to preserve the relationship as it is or keep up the same level of contact, focus on the good--both for your sister, and for you. This is a chance for you both to grow in new ways and find new good things outside of your relationship. That doesn't negate that relationship, just adds to it.

It sounds like you've been a really solid support to her for a long time, and no longer being needed might feel really weird (and shitty). But defining yourself/your life in terms of how much you can give to somebody else is almost never a good idea. Her moving away might actually be a good opportunity for you to gain a little distance from that, and find more happiness of your own unattached to her.

Re: Questions/Advice

[dethtoll]

MTE

Re: Questions/Advice

[mrs_don_draper]

"I've had to support her through her break ups, depression, alcoholism, and suicidal behavior. But now we barely talk or interact.And I feel like I can't bring up how lonely, depressed, and resentful I feel without bringing her out of her happier life."

After everything you've done for her, the least she can do is listen to you and help you feel better and talk to you about your feelings. Your feelings are just as important as hers and deserve just as much time and love. If you can take time out of your day to deal with heavy, depressing family things for her, then she can and should do the same.

Re: Questions/Advice

[(Anonymous)]

It's tough when someone you're close to moves away. My advice is to focus on quality time rather quantity. Talk to your sister - WITHOUT any accusatory baggage about how she's neglecting you for her bf. Say how much you miss spending time with her and ask her over for sibling bonding time once a week.

Then spend the rest of your free time pursuing interests you have, on your own. Actively seek new friends.