[ SECRET POST #3485 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3485 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #498.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i.imgur.com/T6B9Oys.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

It's weird for me too. Like on the one hand it's nice to be less shoved-to-the-side, but at the same time there's way too much involvement and the boundaries are vanishing and it's kind of a shitshow.

[(Anonymous)]

I understand. It's like, here's something that was your thing, or it was special and you shared it with a few folks who were just like you. And maybe it was the type of thing you ran to because you weren't into mainstream things, or because you felt excluded from what the popular kids were doing. And maybe what you loved was considered lame by the majority, but it was your lame thing and it had meaning. Now it's like everybody and their brother-in-law are treating it like a fad. You want to be happy about it (since yay, it's deemed "acceptable"!) but you can only dredge up selfish and possibly possessive and bitter feelings.

Or at least, that's how it is with me.

sa

[(Anonymous)]

....or maybe it's the feeling of being exploited for the thing you were mocked about not long ago.

[mrs_don_draper]

I'm with you. I hate it when I hear someone on E! using fanfic terms and ship names. For example, when discussing Hunger Games, talking about "teams" or using portmanteaus of character names. I liked that it was my own private thing that only existed when I logged on to whatever site. I still feel like people who talk about it in real life are the weird ones.

[crossy_woad]

IKWYM. It's weird to get used to it. I pretend ignorance most of the time in public, to be honest.

[nightscale]

It's definitely weird and I 100% expect it to be mocked or made to seem like it's an utterly bizarre hobby so I always internally cringe if actors/creators bring it up on their own. Like go away, leave me and my weirdness alone!

TV polls don't really bug me though for some reason.

[type_wild]

I discovered online fandom since 2000, and it's been my embarassing secret ever since. Reading stories someone on the other side of the globe wrote about cartoon characters being sappy romantic couples? Yeah, not exactly a fruitful hobby.

Ten years later, and my kid sister was suddenly doodling ship names all over the place and I had absolutely no idea how to talk with her about this, even though I was in the same fandom.

Somehow, I'm as closeted about my fandom involvement as I am about why I've never had a boyfriend-or-hell-even-a-girlfriend *g*

[(Anonymous)]

I dunno, I'm sure it's great that people who would have been bullied for their fandom interests years ago maybe won't be now, and it's nice that there's more merch and stuff. I guess it's feral fandoms, ones that pop up in isolation and are full of people who maybe don't know fandom etiquette (like "don't share fanworks with creators unless they ask, keep the rpf and explicit porn of their radar" etc) that bother me. Fandom in general can seem like the wild west, but never more so than in the kind of hothouse fandom that pops up out of nowhere.

[(Anonymous)]

I've never felt weirded out by this, and it's always a little puzzling to find out many fans do.

[(Anonymous)]

We've Seen Things, kid. Long, long histories of being made fun of and mocked by family and peers.

Sure there's always people who have never minded about being open about their fannish interests, but enough of us grew up as The Only Person Who Really Liked That Thing in a radius of about fifty miles and got ruthlessly mocked for it that we just keep it to the fandom circles.

[type_wild]

Way back in the day, it was standard procedure to open your fanfic with something like "disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue". There were fanfic authors receiving cease and desist letters; fandom was a legal gray area, and we all knew it. It's bizarre to live in a world where actors and creators are treating slash as something completely par for the course.

[diet_poison]

same. maybe it's in part because I've only been in fandom since 2010 or so? and also maybe because I'm not a very private person, so I don't feel like I have much to hide, nor do I get embarrassed by being nerdy.

and apparently there are major changes in fandom culture and its interactions with pop culture. I probably just don't have much perspective.

but the whole wanting to keep it hush-hush thing is puzzling to me too.

[(Anonymous)]

You just got lucky with your circumstances then. Everyone has their interest and hobbies, but when you get your fanfiction laughed at in the public eye without them asking to use it then maybe you'd understand why people are so uncomfortable about mainstream invading fandom safe places.

[ninety6tears]

It's petty, but the thing I don't like about how fandom is becoming more mainstream is that it's become something that's for these, like, geek dilettantes who wear the pop culture shirts and play drinking games while watching marathons and know the terminology but overall don't really participate creatively and would probably still consider those of us who like fanworks to be losers. Like I know acquaintances who say, "I ship that!" in conversation about their favorite shows but I'm still half-convinced I'd never live it down if they knew I write fanfic and that makes me kind of a gatekeeping grump about who's what kind of fan.

[dahli]

Yeah, I get what you mean. On the other hand, I'm grateful that being a fan of something will not get you mocked anymore, though. At least most of the time.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm an 'old' fan from the days of 'zines and it would have been social suicide to tell my non-fan friends that I wrote fic, went to cons, or did any kind of cosplay. I understand this secret because it does feel like the same thing I had to keep to myself is now accepted in mainstream culture. I'm glad that more people can feel like they are part of fandom and not have to endure the stares of other people, but, at the same time, I feel angry because I had to be in the fandom closet.

My first ship was Kirk/Spock, and I wrote slash but only communicated it with other Trek fans. But I do think that there is still a certain amount of lip service to mainstream's involvement with fandom. Take the newest Trek movie and making Sulu 'gay'. I've been making Trek gay since the early 1980s; Hollywood just caught up and the entertainment shows are making a big deal out of it.

I guess what I'm getting at is that those of us in fandom are different than the more casual fans who like to pretend they know everything. And we always will be.

[diet_poison]

I'm really surprised at how much of this sentiment there is. Like...it just sounds like you really want to be special and persecuted. Instead of being happy that new fans won't have the same negative experiences you did, you sound jealous of the persecuted status being in fandom used to give you and like you don't want to lose that.

[(Anonymous)]

"I'm an 'old' fan from the days of 'zines and it would have been social suicide to tell my non-fan friends that I wrote fic, went to cons, or did any kind of cosplay."

I actually had to fight my way off the bus when a bunch of kids found the fanart I had hidden inside one of my books after once of them jacked my backpack. And then I got suspended for fighting. Then I had to explain to my parents why I got suspended and why they were tearing up one of my textbooks (because we got a bill for it from the Board of Ed). As an aside: This is also when I learned that textbooks are very much over-priced. :/

But it wasn't so much the kids. Kids are fucking assholes, and I've always known that. But My teachers actually convinced my parents to send me to a psychiatrist because I was spending my class time drawing fanart instead of doing homework. Because, you know how much fun homework is and anyone who isn't practically falling over themselves to do school work must be insane!

So, in a way, I kinda get the whole, "You aren't a real fan unless you've walked the Gauntlet of Shame" we walked.

But I also have a kid. She's 25 now and she suffers from one of those mental illnesses that television vilifies. She suffers from paranoia and anxiety and she's so terrified of living in a post-apocalyptic / dystopian nightmarescape (because of what she's seen on the news / read online) that she has to watch Star Trek every day because it gives her hope that maybe there's a future for humanity that doesn't end in a complete shitshow or she'll end up in the ER (again). I can't be sure but I think Trek may have saved her life on at least one occasion. And she can publicly express her love of Trek without getting mocked because being in fandom is "normal" now and Trek is "the shit". That makes her life so much easier.

I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings because I really do understand where you're coming from. I'm just saying there are some good things happening for people because fandom is mainstream. And let's be honest, this isn't true of many of us, but there are a lot of people who use fandom as a coping mechanism. I don't really want to be That Person who makes people who already feel bad feel even worse because I had to literally fight just to be fannish, especially when I consider that, growing up, what we have now is exactly what I wanted in the first place.

I'm bitter because new fans have something we didn't, but I don't begrudge them their good fortune.

[(Anonymous)]

Here to high-five you because my first ship was Kirk/Spock also, my first fandom activity was to jump in the deep end and start up a ST:TOS zine, and yeah we had to keep a low profile but wasn't it all AWESOME FUN?

(In retrospect the merchandising was minimal and IMO that's what made going to cons so much fun - more focused on actual fan activities and not so much on the flogging of commercial crap.)

[(Anonymous)]

I think you need to ask yourself who's the most specialest. You or the idiot fake fans who don't get what really matters? Woe us: the real fans!

[(Anonymous)]

I can do my thing even if tumblr is crazy, so I'm not really worried. (Culture is a living thing and that's great, or else we'd be stuck with certain unhealthy tropes forever.)

The only thing I fear by watered down fandom is to lose the only place in my life where people use female pronouns as default. It is such a rare and valuable thing to me.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I'm 100% from the generation that DID NOT TALK ABOUT FANDOM. Even today, only two people in the world can connect IRL me to fandom me. I'd be HORRIFIED if my family ever found my fic. And if I ever get in a relationship with someone, I know there's going to be a Big Awkward Discussion about it. So, yeah, I cringe hard whenever fannish stuff is brought up by mainstream people (even when it's positive, which is not always).

[(Anonymous)]

I don't like it. Every time actors/actresses/writers talk or get asked ships you can tell they are embarrassed and it just makes me feel ashamed. Also I hate the creators or people involved with something being on twitter and so close to the rabid parts of fandom or the haters. Like... some things are just meant to be kept separate.

[(Anonymous)]

I still can't forget that thing that happened in ATLA fandom and Zutara(?) shippers having their fanart mocked by the creators in front of the entire fandom.

I was never involved in ATLA fandom, but I've heard those stories and it always stuck with me making me paranoid that the creators of whatever fandom I'm in are watching and judging. Praying they aren't involved with the social media and that fans don't pester them about stuff that would draw their attention.

To me fandom should be a secret little corner of the internet to share with others who share your interests, not something that invites creators, actors, news outlets, or talk show interviewers to laugh at fans for doing typical fan shit.