[ SECRET POST #3518 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3518 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Star Trek: Voyager]


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03.
[Voltron]


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04.
[Up the Women]


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05.
[Digimon Adventure 02]


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06.
[Assassin's Creed: Syndicate]


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07.
[The Sims]


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08.
[The X-Files]


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09.
[Letterkenny, Stewart/Katy]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 49 secrets from Secret Submission Post #503.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

I don't really talk about it, but I envy non-asexual people sometimes. The feeling of having sex with someone who is attractive to you sounds like an incredible feeling I'll never get to experience. Been there, tried it, in a romantic relationship at everything, it doesn't work. I'm just not turned on by anyone.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[raspberryrain]

:pats head:

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

Right. And this is why I never talk about it.

When anyone else wishes they had a fulfilling and meaningful sex life but can't for some reason, it's taken seriously, but not this. :/

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[raspberryrain]

Sorry, that came off too glib. I think I need an icon with a better "sympathetic" facial expression. Maybe a little frown.

I don't know what to tell you. Even for someone who feels sexual attraction, sexual relationships can be very difficult. Some of them may envy you. But I can certainly understand the frustration of feeling like there's this whole side of existence denied to you.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

I know it's hard, and when it's bad, it's bad. But when it's good, it sounds amazing and it's all blank to me, is all.

Thanks, and I apologize if I misinterpreted you. I'm used to getting the other kind of reaction.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

Don't worry, you'll get a girlfriend eventually. You just got to talk to them, accept they might turn you down, and remember you don't have a right to them saying yes. Just get out of the basement and meet people, okay.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks - not sarcasm, I mean it, because your post is too stereotypical to be real, so I can use it as an example. That response given by people for real, assuming you're some basement dweller who can't get laid, is why I can't tell people this. Another one is the one where they say being unhappy about it or wishing I could experience things most other people experience is claiming oppression somehow.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

I envy asexual people. You have noemotional pressure to want something you can't have. I'm a hetero cis female. I'm also not good looking. I have no sex life whatsoever because of this.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

Just lower your standards, no matter how ugly you are there will always be some man willing to have sex. Hell just go into the street and yell you want to have sex and I bet you get takers.

NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Fuck you! We don't have to lower our standards for anyone!

Re: NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

But you want a man to lower his standards to fuck you though.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

Of course there are people who will do it with just about anybody. That doesn't mean you should make it your policy to fuck someone who will do it with just about anybody.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I can understand that, to be honest. Wanting something but not having it sounds like it can be awful, too. If anything, we have more in common than in not-common, it sounds like neither of us can have what we want. I don't know what to say besides sorry and I get it. :(

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[herpymcderp]

And the reason you can't have sex with people who aren't good looking is...?

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

Thinks she is too good to have sex with another uggo.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

God, you're dumb.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT, but I don't get that at all from anon's post. Even if I squint.

What she's saying is that she's not conventionally attractive, so no one wants to have sex with her. There's nothing about her own preferences in there.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

Probably a societal tendency for a lot of men to have a shallow "preference" that might as well be for bragging rights only. And/or men being shamed for non-typical "preferences" and being unwilling to pursue the people they actually like because of it.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

because everyone wants to fuck attractive people? who the fuck is looking to get smashed by quasimodo?

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

I envy people who get to have sex with someone who's attracted to them (and who they're attracted to.). I'm probably bi or pan sexual and romantic but I'm too scared of intimacy (and not just sexual intimacy) to ask anyone I've been attracted to if they're interested, and I'm pretty ugly or at least boring and not good at presenting myself well, so I can count the number of people who've hit on me on one hand. Mostly they've been predators looking for someone who seems helpless/like they have shit self esteem. (They'd be right, but I don't hate myself enough to enter into an abusive relationship. At least my fear of intimacy is good for something?)

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

I've had sex with people who were attracted to me to whom I was attracted romantically but not sexually and it felt empty, for lack of a better word. They were into it, I was not as much but not unwilling, I felt apologetic I wasn't more into it, feelings were awkward, more sex was tried, nothing got better, breakups. I found them aesthetically attractive and wanted to find them sexually attractive so much, but it wasn't happening. I've given up trying to have a normal relationship because I'm incapable of doing so and it's not fair to them. :/

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

SA

When I say I've given up on normal relationships, I mean to say I've given up on trying to achieve what people would consider a normal relationship with a mutual sexual attraction and fulfilling sex life because I'm not capable of either, not that I've given up on having or finding relationships without that with understanding or similar people. It's not as depressing as it sounded.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

This is exactly how I feel too, OP, and it can be a real struggle to deal with at times.

I'm thoroughly ace, but I also ship really hard, and even though I can't imagine not having shipping as an outlet, sometimes I wish I was "fully ace" (i.e. no shipping as well as no personal attraction to others). Because shipping gives me such a taste of this thing I just won't ever have. (Not that fictional relationships are super realistic, but still.)

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Having a relationship doesn't make it any better IME. I end up feeling bad about not being physically attracted to the person I'm in the relationship with. Then doubly bad when the feeling of wanting a fulfilling sexual relationship with someone I find physically attractive doesn't go away. I worry that it straddles the line between cheating or not cheating, but I don't think it ever will be, because I don't think 'someone I find physically attractive' will ever happen. I literally cannot imagine that person.

It doesn't help when friends talk about their relationships and how someone they're seeing is so hot or so good in bed and how compatible they are, and it's like hearing everyone talk about a movie that's so amazing and when you get in the theater to see it, it bores you and only you to tears and you can't get into it and you have no idea why. I wish I could enjoy the movie too.

I use shipping as a vicarious outlet because it's easy to imagine other people's or character's feelings or attraction toward each other, but as soon as it becomes Character/You or Character/Reader it loses all appeal to me.

Re: Things you want to tell people but can't

[(Anonymous)]

I definitely know what you mean with pretty much all of this.

Personally, I'm aro as well as ace, so we're not in exactly the same boat. But like many ace people I've certainly contemplated what options may be open to me. And I'm reasonably decent looking, so I've had a few male friends who have been interested in pursuing a romantic, intimate relationship with me. Some of them have also talked about their willingness to work around the whole sex aspect if I don't want sex. But the idea of it just hurts to contemplate.

And even if I was a romantic ace, I think I would still struggle with it (maybe I would give relationships my best shot, and maybe I would even find one that worked for me, and there's nothing at all wrong with doing that, but I can see how it would be tricky, is all I'm saying). Because how do you look at someone you care about, who cares about you but who also desires you, and say, I will never want you in a sex way. I will never lust after you. You will never truly get me hot. And say it in a way that will adequately convince them.

If I was a non-ace person, I couldn't handle knowing that the person I was into would never look at me and just want me sexually. Not if I truly understood and believed that never means never and they weren't going to change for me if I was patient enough.

Ugh, sorry. I'm bringing myself down with this, and I don't want to make you feel worse. All I really mean to say is that navigating this kind of stuff when you're ace is tricky as fuck and can sometimes be really discouraging and I get that, I empathize big time.

it's like hearing everyone talk about a movie that's so amazing and when you get in the theater to see it, it bores you and only you to tears and you can't get into it and you have no idea why. I wish I could enjoy the movie too.

Yeah. To follow your movie analogy, I think a lot of people presume ace people just aren't interested in movies. And that's true of a lot of ace people. But there are also ace people who would fucking love to watch a good movie - our brains just don't seem to be wired in a way that allows us to be entertained by movies.

It's a Midas touch kind of deal.

I use shipping as a vicarious outlet because it's easy to imagine other people's or character's feelings or attraction toward each other, but as soon as it becomes Character/You or Character/Reader it loses all appeal to me.

This truth. I love shipping, but holy shit do I not want to be any part of it on a personal level. I do not want to have sex with the characters as myself. I do not want to imagine I am either of the characters while they have sex with each other. I do not want to imagine I am voyeuristically watching them get it on. I just want them to have awesome sex, and I can imagine it, and eat it up, and love it. Lol.