[ SECRET POST #3522 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3522 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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08.
[Supernatural]


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09.
[Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries]


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[Star Wars]


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[Great British Bake Off, series 5]






Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #503.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i.imgur.com/BMDq4w1.jpg

[sparrow_lately]

This secret is giving me the strongest deja vu. Did you post something similar before?

[(Anonymous)]

I'd say it's because most fic writers aren't at the point in life where they have experienced the wonderful gift that is having an abusive asshole child or have someone they're emotionally close to suffer from having the wonderful gift that is an abusive asshole child. It might not even occur to a lot of them that this is a possible dynamic?

God, some people's kids are shitstains. The hardest thing is wrapping your head around why they put up with it. "But if I kick him out of the house it means I'm a bad mother/don't love him/he won't have the support he needs!" "BUT HE'S AN EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE AND ABUSIVE DRUG DEALING ASSHOLE." But he's my son, blah blah blah. But you're his mother and he obviously doesn't respect that, blah blah blah.

[diet_poison]

That happens some the other way around, too.

Also, some of that is enabling on one side and leeching on the other, without the person being overtly assholish. Still not a good situation though.

[(Anonymous)]

And the second comment is a "but it's parents who are assholes really". Sadly predictable.

It's possible for something to be NOT PARENTS' FAULT. Gasp. Shock. Horror. F!S Blasphemy.

[(Anonymous)]

As I said above: Some people can't stop the enabling because they are afraid of the negative consequences (because no, stopping all support does not end well in a lot of cases) and they could not live with it if he child in question got even worse without the support.

[diet_poison]

Probably true. Every situation is a bit different.

[(Anonymous)]

My parents are in the exact situation that you described and believe you me, they would very much like to not enable my asshole brother but they want him to die in the streets even less. And the amount of well-meaning but clueless people rehashing some variation of "BUT YOU NEED TO THROW HIM INTO COLD WATER SO HE LEARNS HIS LESSON" clearly never were in a situation like that.

[grausam]

with parental abuse there's at least the consensus that the victims aren't responsible for being treated badly, although there's plenty of guilting involved. if you raised your own abuser the power dynamic is more complex. you'll get less sympathy and feel guiltier yourself.

it might also be unpopular because the story structure of getting abused later in life doesn't mesh with overcoming adverse circumstances at the start of your life to earn your "happily ever after".

so yeah, that sounds difficult to write, even if most fic writers weren't unlikely to have children just yet.

[(Anonymous)]

I wish some child of mine would try to be abusive to me; I'd slap the fire out of them.

[(Anonymous)]

There's Star Wars fandom! I haven't gotten much into the Force Awakens fic, but I'd bet anything there's a ton of this sort of thing with Han and Leia and Kylo. People who are active in the current movie's fandom - am I correct or not?

But yeah, it is a rare thing in fandom. Even when it is portrayed, it's usually not with the parent character in a very heroic or likeable light - usually they're some random minor character, not a main character, and they're portrayed as weak or pathetic for letting their child treat them badly.

I think the only times I remember it being portrayed in a strong sympathetic light was in Tolkien fandom - one fic with Feanor being very emotionally manipulative to Finwe and Indis regarding the remarriage, and one with Elladan and Elrohir kind of going into a rage spiral after Celebrian was tortured and blaming Elrond for it and being shitty to him. IIRC neither fic was all that good though.

Probably it's so rare because in a lot of big-fandom canons, there aren't a whole lot of main characters old enough to have adult children? IDK.

[(Anonymous)]

Sadly, the Star Wars fandom is not the place to go. Kylo is a woobie and Leia and Han are often depicted as abusers to justify Kylo's angst.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

Fëanor being emotionally manipulative is something I can see. I honestly think of him as having a lot of issues over the remarriage and his half-siblings - I have mentioned around here before having a theory that Maedhros is older than Fingolfin based on their Quenya names, and I can imagine Fëanor being rather spitefully gleeful at getting the right to call his son "Third Finwë" over Indis being able to name her first son that.