fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3544 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3544 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[The Neverending Story]

__________________________________________________

02.

[Hamilton/Pokémon Go]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Peter Pan, Hook/Tiger Lily]

__________________________________________________

04.

["The Strain", Richard Sammel and Ruta Gedmintas]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Jessica Jones]

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08. [SPOILERS for Great British Bake Off]

__________________________________________________

09. [SPOILERS for World of Warcraft: Legion]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 47 secrets from Secret Submission Post #506.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - this style of trolling is just too obvious, come on ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I need advice. In the next comment.

I just spent the last two hours talking with an online friend who is feeling suicidal. I did the best I could. But they don't want to talk to strangers, so they won't see a therapist. I think I said the right things, or at least I tried. And I'm planning on sending them a gift to let them know that they matter. But I don't know what else to do. This is my first time dealing with something like this, and I'm scared.

What else should I be doing? What should I be saying?

I know this sounds cold, but there isn't much you can do or say if your friend refuses to get help. If you're up for it, check in with them and be a shoulder to cry on, but keep encouraging them to talk to a doctor or at least try one of those suicide hotlines. IIRC, there are anonymous online chats they can use, too.

Your idea of a gift is sweet, but keep in mind that you cannot love someone out of depression. Don't spend money you can't afford. Don't invest time you can't afford, and by this I mean if you find yourself in the position of needing to talk them down from the ledge over and over again, this is a bad sign. Again, I know this sounds cold, because of course you want to help your friend. But trust me, you CANNOT be your friend's only safety line. You're not equipped to do be their sole source of emotional support, and it wouldn't be fair to you OR your friend.

Just keep in mind that you can't help someone who won't help themselves.

Be careful that you aren't sucked into an awful cycle of despair that ends up chipping away at YOUR mental health.

That said, I think all you can do at this point is to just be supportive, but recognize your limits. If things start getting bad, you should probably turn it over to the professionals. Your friend may not want to see a therapist, but it's not fair for them to substitute a friend for one either.

As someone who has been feeling suicidal as of late, I'll tell you the one thing you shouldn't do is guilt them into anything. Don't tell them they're selfish, how much people would miss them, etc. While you might think it's good advice, to someone who feels suicidal, it's heard as "Your feelings don't matter." You probably haven't done this, I'm just saying it just in case.

Instead, let them speak their mind. Offer suggestions to their problems, if they have any. Suggest ways they can take their mind off of things. Suggest things they can look forward to (the next installment of their favorite series, a place they've always wanted to go, new foods they can try, etc.). Suicide can be prevented, but it's important that the person considering it knows that THEY are the one that matters the most in the situation, no one else. Putting pressure on them only makes it harder.

There are times when life throws every possible negative thing at you, but you can get through it if you have a little faith in yourself. Just take things at your own pace, let out all the tears you want, and then tell yourself, "I may feel awful, but I can make it. I just need patience."

DA

Hmmm. When I was suicidal, the only thing that ever helped was hearing that people would miss me, that I mattered to people. Because I genuinely didn't believe those things and I though the world would be better without me. I hated myself that much.

I guess it is just really individual, which is what makes it so hard.

[ SECRET POST #3544 ]

Advice- TW for Suicide

Re: Advice- TW for Suicide

Re: Advice- TW for Suicide

Re: Advice- TW for Suicide

Re: Advice- TW for Suicide

Re: Advice- TW for Suicide