[ SECRET POST #3548 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3548 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Dark Souls 2]


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03.
[Ouran High School Host Club]


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04.
[Darren Criss]


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05.
[Great British Bake Off, Sue Perkins, Mel Giedroyc]


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06.
[The 100]


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07.
[Death in Paradise]


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08.
[Xena Warrior Princess]

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #507.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. http://i.imgur.com/ZA4EWCI.jpg
[Ouran High School Host Club]

[(Anonymous)]

You sound like me. Yeah a big draw to Ouran (you know besides the over the top hijinks) was how chill Haruhi was about crossdressing.

[(Anonymous)]

Same.

[(Anonymous)]

Tell that to Tumblr, where gospel is that Haruhi canonically and openly identifies as ~~~genderfluid.

[(Anonymous)]

wtf.
she's so comfortable with her female gender she literally could not care less what others think she might be! she does not feel like her femininity needs to be reinforced by people's perception of her or by her own behaviour!
ack!

[(Anonymous)]

See, the hilarious thing is that Haruhi's background is blatantly brought up to show why she doesn't bother with gender roles. Her dad cross-dresses (or is possibly trans? not sure), and she has all the respect and love for him in the world. It's clear that her upbringing was unusual by Japanese standards but she's affected by her dad. It's not internalized feelings of androgyny coming out of the blue.

[feotakahari]

Disregarding the rest of your secret, I hate the phrase "special snowflake." Trans? You're a "special snowflake." Mentally ill? You're a "special snowflake." Someday I'm probably going to see someone on Reddit declare that people in wheelchairs are "special snowflakes."

[(Anonymous)]

While I'm sure the term is used to condescend those things, I think comparing people with real disability or trans individuals is kind of a stretch to the context of this secret.

[(Anonymous)]

It would be a lot easier to not think in terms of "special snowflakes" if it wasn't patently obvious that a LOT of people who claim to be some "unique" thing or another online haven't the faintest clue what they are talking about. There is a difference between "My doctor has professionally diagnosed me with ASD" and "I'm ~introverted~ and quirky and I don't understand social cues, so I MUST be autistic!" There is also a difference between "I have severe dysphoria and I've strongly felt that I was the wrong sex since I was 4" and "I have a vag but I don't fit the stereotypes of what a girl is supposed to be so I must not really be a girl and I'm going to change my self-label for my gender every 3 months when I discover a new one I like better."

[(Anonymous)]

or 'i'm demiromantic agender because gender roles suck and I don't have any first hand experience of my own attractions yet and I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE A CIS SCUM OPPRESSOR'

like I realize they're scared kids reacting to a super toxic environment, but they're also building and reinforcing large chunks of that environment, so it's hard not to resent them

[(Anonymous)]

I do agree that people often wrongly self-diagnose, but no, many actual trans people who end up tranisitoning did not have a crippling dysphoria since a young age.

[(Anonymous)]

Uuuh, you do know a lot of trans people don't come out of the womb knowing they're trans? There's a pretty big combo of not knowing it's a possibility and a old psych school of thought that gender is nurture not nature so if someone expresses non-gender-conforming behavior you need to nip it in the bud, hard.

Like someone I know talked about how his parents freaked out every time school had crossdressing day for spirit week and wouldn't let him participate, and once when I was over visiting he went to a family picture and covered his long hair that his mom wouldn't let him cut and went "I look like a pretty cute boy with short hair, don't I?" and his mom overheard and got really angry about it and told him never to say anything like that. She had a perfect daughter who looked nothing like a boy at all, thankyouverymuch. He hit college, learned being trans was a real thing, and went ".... ok, wow, a LOT of things make a lot more sense not." and he's been happily transitioned for a decade now.

Is it something very much real? Yes. Is it something he's so much happier and confident now? Yup. Is it something where he spent every waking minute before in abject misery 'hating his vag' and suffering in a beautiful inspiration porn sort of way? Fuck no.

No more than I suffered beautifully before my adult ADD diagnosis but damn if being able to go "I'm not lazy and stupid, my brain just works weird. Making grocery lists isn't being lazy and hurting myself by not exercising my mental recall, it's being organized." is a hundred times easier and better for me! I didn't have to spend my childhood naked and dirty in a forest unable to focus enough to get dressed in order to qualify.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh man I could've written this secret. I think Ouran was surprisingly cool in regards to how it portrayed gender roles and such, and challenged a lot of ideas - especially for an anime. Haruhi is amazing in that it doesn't make a difference to her if people think she's a guy, but she also seems fine with being a woman. I could definitely identify with that. I'm perfectly fine with my female body, but it's also not an active part of my identity and I don't think I'd be much different if I were transformed one day into a guy (and no, I'm now ~genderqueer~).

[(Anonymous)]

I've used Haruhi has a way to explain my feelings about gender for several years and it still fits me so well--comfortable being female but ehh not too concerned about it.

[(Anonymous)]

This is also how I feel. <3

[(Anonymous)]

Definitely agree about her identifying as female throughout being a good thing.
I related to her a lot, for a while, because she's gender-non-conforming but still unambiguously female in her identity. (Her story doesn't speak to me so much now, because my own sense of gender has shifted, but that doesn't mean that the time when it did isn't important for what it was. And I have no interest in twisting it into something it's not.)

I'm gonna agree with feotakahari about your use of "special snowflake" being kinda uncomfortable though.
Nonbinary people do exist, it's just that Haruhi has never seemed like an example of one (to me, as a nonbinary person).

[(Anonymous)]

Nonbinary people do exist, but most people on tumblr claiming to be NB are exactly what OP described in the secret: people who believe that you can't not fit some very restrictive gender stereotypes without being genderqueer in some way.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, one of the most aggravating things about that section of tumblr is how fanatically devoted they are to gender essentialism and how insanely tenacious they are about insisting that not fitting your assigned, super rigid gender role absolutely means that you must not "really" be that gender. I feel like a lot of them are probably rebelling against environments that claim you must fit into your little box or you aren't womaning or manning correctly, but they don't seem to realize that they are pushing that idea exactly as hard as the people who are trying to put them in little gender boxes.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not trying to be rude, but isn't that what being nonbinary means? Like, how else do you define it besides presentation and feelings?

[raspberryrain]

Wait, do you mean you're gender-fluid, or just that you don't act super-girly all the time? This one feels like it may be a very long troll.

[(Anonymous)]

It's pretty obvious that the OP is saying that she's a girl, but she's fine presenting in a masculine way sometimes (like Haruhi).

[raspberryrain]

I'm not quite clear what she means by "presenting." That's the question. Is it just, "I don't care if you think I'm male," or something else?

[(Anonymous)]

I think OP is just one of the people who go "oh, I don't care about gender, I don't care if people think I'm a girl or not" and then immediately follow it with "don't you dare think of me as anything other than a girl! I'm a GIRL! Definitely not a man or nonbinary person! A GIIIIIIIIRRRRLLL! It's very important to me that everyone recognizes it!".

IME, most people who "don't care about gender" are like this.

[world_eater]

so you don't believe girls can not care about how they're perceived? lovely person you are

[(Anonymous)]

You sound bitter tbh. We get it, you identify as nonbinary.