fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3556 ]

[ SECRET POST #3556 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3556 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[Lord of the Rings trilogy]

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02.

[pride and prejudice; unnamed others]

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03.

[Endeavour]

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04.

[Tim Curry / Movies: IT, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Clue, Legend]

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05.

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06.

[Loud House]

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07.

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08.

[MST3K]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 19 secrets from Secret Submission Post #508.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Not to try to read OP's mind, but I think it's not just a question of feeling like you need to record every piece of minutia. I think there's also something very specific to being a virgin and trying to write or think about sex, where, like... it's really easy to think about sex in terms of your massive and total incomprehension of it, and to think about the fundamental chasm that exists between anything that you could ever think of sex and the actual lived experience of sex, and how little you know about it or could know about it, and all of that kind of thing. And I can easily see how, if someone was trying to write about sex, that could easily translate that into an anxiety that you're going to miss something - something that anyone who's had sex would obviously and immediately know, but that someone who hasn't had sex wouldn't think of. Which then translates into an anxiety for details and realism, as a way to paper over that gap.

If that makes any sense at all.

I agree! And I'm totally not trying to diminish that. That's why I tried to contextualize it with something like going to the bathroom (i.e. something we all have to deal with but don't usually bother writing about)

Sure. But my point is that I don't think OP's attitude comes out of being a poor writer paying too much attention to detail. It comes out of inexperience with sex, specifically - like anon said above, they do have experience with peeing, and they don't have experience with having sex, and you don't necessarily know which parts about having sex are going to be things that you don't need to mention like you do with going to the bathroom. And it comes from being anxious about that specific inexperience.

I don't think OP's attitude comes out of being a poor writer

Okay, I'm going to pick this out--I agree with your other stuff, by the way.

Offering advice or picking out a possible pitfall isn't calling someone a bad writer. It's the only way we get good. And good writers can always get better. The day you start interpreting suggestions and criticism as attacks is the day you stagnate.

My advisor loves my writing. I'm currently working with a draft covered in notes anyway. Why? Because she cares about me. Good writers can always get better.

Edited 2016-09-29 02:37 (UTC)

Ok, no. You can't just ignore the tone behind what is essentially "I'm afraid you've been mislead you poor sweet summer child." Your commentary wasn't about making a good writer better or a bad writer less bad. It was a condescending ego stroke.

"Hi I'm inexperienced, what is ____ like?"

"Hey you might not even need it in your story we usually don't bother to write about it anyway."

"HOW DARE YOU"

Difference being, I wasn't asking about writing. I was asking about sex.

If you're going to be this offended when someone you don't even know offers advice, I kind of hope you only get kudos. I'm not sure AO3 comments would sit well.

Seriously is condescension your only mode?

I also have anger, lust, and anxiety

But seriously your overreaction is fucking hilarious. If you dislike me why the fuck are you talking to me? Go write about the sex towel, it's fine. Some people will like it and some won't. Just make sure it's working for your story.

Yes it is and everyone else who disagrees with her is automatically stupid. It's her usual behaviour, being constantly condescending.

There's also world-weary, pseudo-intellectual cynic. You know the type. Usually, they're college students who took a few philosophy classes and decide to carry around a notebook to "record their thoughts" and flirt with nihilism for a bit, maybe buy a beret. Most people grow out of that phase, but those people don't know. They haven't stared into the abyss. Not like chardmonster has.

That's a fair point and I agree. What I was trying to drive at was that I didn't think about it in terms of a writing flaw.

Exactly. It's a question of "if I don't mention this, is the average person going to read it and be all "buhhhh...are they just going to sleep in a puddle of their own mess?" Or is it the sort of thing that one would read and infer that it just wasn't very messy. IDK, because VIRGIN.

Leaping straight to "oh, I bet someone's convinced you that every little thing of life must be documented in painstaking detail" defies logic.

Leaping straight to "oh, I bet someone's convinced you that every little thing of life must be documented in painstaking detail" defies logic.

You've never read a story that does that? I have.

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[ SECRET POST #3556 ]

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Oh good grief.

Re: Oh good grief.

Of course not dear

Re: Oh good grief.

Re: Oh good grief.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.

Re: So hey. Listen.