fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3616 ]

[ SECRET POST #3616 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3616 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #517.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Some clothing choices. Like, there's not one clothing style I specifically disapprove of - but if you say, turn up at an opera in sweatpants, I will judge you. Context matters.

I am actually judgmental of people who gossip, or who are needlessly bitter or unhelpful (not just to me, but to others) while it would not inconvenience them greatly to do so.

I am judgmental of people who vote for - and certainly those vocal about it - politicians or parties that promote intolerance of callousness. (And no, i don't just mean Trump, there's plenty of that in Europe, too).

Come to think of it, this post is in REVERSE order of importance.

It really is the least important of your three but the clothing one is very near and dear to me right now. When I spend £350 for stalls seats on the west end, I do not fucking appreciate an asshole in torn jeans and a motorcycle jacket with chains all over it sitting next to me rattling and clinking the whole time. I hate going to the theatre now because none of them enforce dress codes, entitled assholes think it's perfectly acceptable to crinkle sweets wrappers during the performance, and the theatres claim they allow it because they want to make theatre accessible to everyone. Well then stop charging us like it's a major fucking privilege if you're going to act like it's a fucking panto! I actually really love getting dressed up and treating the whole thing like it's a super expensive luxury that requires people to dress and behave as such. If I wanted panto, the local troupe charges a fiver the last Saturday of every month.

I feel like the disturbing, at least, is something they could enforce - like at least there could be no food policies or something.

I don't always like dressing up, but it was encouraged from home. My great-aunt though people were barbarians because they no longer wore gloves to the opera.

I was going to say I couldn't think of anything, but you made me realize I judge people that judge clothing. As long as the person's clothing is not getting in the way of other people's enjoyment of the opera like a 2 ft mohawk or something that blocks people's view, I could give less of a shit if they came wearing jeans. They're going to be seated and watching a show in the same room with you; you don't have to look at them if you don't want to. It's not like a party with a dress code where you're expected to interact with people.

I judge people who judge others as classless due to their clothing choices when their clothing choices don't harm anyone or detract from anyone's enjoyment of the event. If people want to place high and lofty aspirations on opera they can go to an opera house with a dress code. Going to one without one and complaining others don't hold to their personal codes is being exactly like the type of rich person everybody hates.

Are there opera houses that don't have dress codes? Anon from above asking because theatres where I live DO have them, they just don't enforce them. Theatre and opera have always been so closely related, I just can't imagine an opera house not having a dress code. I think they'd be more likely to enforce it than the theatres where I live, though.

Yes. For example, there is no dress code at the Met.

Someone going there and complaining that other people aren't dressed nice enough for them would have me judging them hard.

I had no idea. Thanks, nonny! Now I'm probably going to spend the rest of the night looking up all the major opera houses to see what dress codes they have, if any.

AYRT

I would like to add here: I wouldn't judge anyone who got annoyed when people failed to conform to a dress code when there *is* one, that's totally understandable. I was only talking about judging them when there isn't.

Yeah, that's totally understandable.

From the small sampling I've done so far, major opera houses around the world do not have dress codes anymore. Many of the ones in Europe even specify that jeans and trainers are fine. I'm surprised but it doesn't bother me as long as, like you said, it doesn't detract from anyone seeing/hearing the performance. In my case at the theatre the other day and earlier this year when I went with friends, it did :( Plus, both theatres had a dress code. I like the idea of having casual guidelines rather than a strict dress code. Make opera and ballet and theatre accessible to all but give guidance on how not to spoil it for others. And ban food and drink in the audience!!!

I'm with you there, if it's something that could disrupt others' enjoyment of the experience like crunching popcorn or candies or slurping straws then by all means ban them. I just feel wearing something less than formal isn't ruining the experience when a formal event wasn't what was actually promised by the venue.

Some high end places *do* have dress codes but those specifically cater to that kind of experience which is fair and fine with me.

I feel like there is something to be said for dressing for the occasion.

Like, you also would not go to work in certain clothes, or to a wedding. And it's not so much classless as giving the message of "I don't care."

I don't feel there's anything wrong with not dressing up for an occasion without a dress code.

Almost all workplaces and weddings have dress codes, but many operas and theaters don't. Why would you judge them for not following your personal code they aren't even aware of?

This. It's sad that the last couple weddings i went to (and they were not 'on the beach' or whatever totally casual affairs) there were people in fucking camo. Gimme a break.

That would piss me off so much if it were my wedding. :| Camo? Really?

Right? Make a friggin' effort, people.

Nooo, you're reminding me of my gossipy friend when at a friend's wedding. She spent the whole time badmouthing other people's outfits. Which...weren't that bad? Sure they're not super high class high tea fancy outfits but they'd clearly dressed up in whatever their finest already-owned dresses were so what's the big deal? It's not like any of us, including her, were making big bucks. They look nice, the bride looks nice, everybody is happy WHY ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT THEIR CLOTHES TO ME STOP RUINING THE ATMOSPHERE

*judging my judgy ex-friend*

Man, that's really obnoxious! Not really what I'm talking about though. First of all gossiping about someone else's clothes at the wedding is rude and awful. But I also think wearing something like camo is another thing entirely. Everyone owns something that's not camo. I'd be really disappointed if someone showed up at my wedding in camo or something similarly sloppy (and again, talking about my wedding, not someone else's). If it were someone who genuinely could not afford any formal clothes and they were a close enough friend of myself or the groom that we wanted them at the wedding, I'd honestly budget in a little bit to buy them something nice to wear.

I guess I feel that formal occasions should be formal and I'd feel really disrespected if someone showed up at my wedding dressed like that. If someone else had a wedding that was super casual that is 100% fine, and I'd wear blue jeans if that's what they wanted. And if I was at someone's wedding and thought someone else was dressed poorly I certainly wouldn't talk about it there, that's just juvenile.

I'm sort of judgey over clothes in the sense that I'm judgey about neatness and cleanliness and effort. idc about styles or fashions, wear OTT sweet lolita or cybergoth or mori kei or whatever you want. But if you show up to the opera or a museum or nice restaurant in wildly mismatched clothes and ratty un-styled hair and lipstick that looks three days old, yeah I'll judge. Likewise I judge people when I see them wandering around walmart in their pajamas with a blanket as a coat. You're in public, put some fucking clothes on.

idk, maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety but I think it's sort of disrespectful both to the venue and other people but also to yourself. Like, you can't be bothered to dress yourself, or wash your nasty clothes, or present yourself on a level that matches the environment? I can't take a person like that seriously.

We don't have Walmart and I feel this is probably good for my sanity.

HA, yes. Omg, flannel sleep pants and fuzzy slippers are not the thing to wear out of your house. That's for lounging and sleeping, not *shopping*. And omg, do you have any idea how filthy those fuzzy slippers and/or the hems of those long, floppy sleep pants are now? Do you not realize how filthy stores and parking lots are? And you're going to go home and tramp all over your house in those, and maybe even go to bed in the pants and transfer all that ick into your *bed*.

Gah.

That's exactly why I don't wear pajamas out of the house. I don't really judge other people for it, but I don't like the idea of bringing outdoor dirt into my bed. And I don't wash my pajamas as often as other clothes, mostly because they don't go outside.

Disrespectful to a walmart venue?

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[ SECRET POST #3616 ]

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