fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3633 ]

[ SECRET POST #3633 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3633 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #519.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm very curious as to what kind of "home" they're thinking of remanding you to, how they could do that legally, and how it would be any worse than what you're putting up with now.

Institutionalization or a nursing home, basically. I don't know the legal ins and outs of those places myself.

OP, this is the line, seriously, you need to get out. Get out NOW, this is serious shit.

What should I take with me when I go?

Several changes of clothes, mementos you can't live without, your computer if you have one, your phone.

It should not be this hard.

I know that, but even though I know it's in my rights to do so and it's the correct response to my situation I'm scared to leave. I'm trying to work myself up to it - it's a frightening prospect for me.

Well, if your therapist isn't helping you analyze why you're so scared of independence, and helping you work through that, then he's doing fuck-all to help you.

I get it. Change is scary. Living without a safety net is scary. Failure is scary. Billions of people do this every day. You can do.

And if you fail? You get back up again. It's not necessarily easy, but it really is as simple as that.

It sounds to me, from the outside looking in, that your parents are part of your problem here, not part of your solution. They're trying to keep you in line, using vague threats of "institutionalization" and the specific threat of "taking away your allowance."

At this point. Any job is better than this. Start applying at McDonalds and Subway. I'm not even kidding.

Please stop telling this person, who has already flat out informed us that they can't prepare their own meals or navigate public transportation, has trouble dealing with strangers and gets lost easily when walking, to run away from home without a job or other plan to sustain themselves in place. You are going to make them starve to death or die of exposure in the street.

Please stop telling people who are being threatened to be put in an institution by their abusive parents to stay where they are.

And I never said to "go live on the street". OP has mentioned on several occasions they have estranged family in other places. Surely, this is enough of an emergency to try and contact them.

If you're over 18, they really can't do that to you unless you consent. Legally can't. The most they could get would be a 72-hour hold, and unless you're a danger to yourself or others, the place has to cut you loose if you demand they do.

Which might mean, yes, you're on the street or in a homeless shelter, after that. But I am really failing to see how they can "institutionalize" you or put you involuntarily in a nursing home if you really do not want to go.

If you are an adult who can isn't proven to be incompetent/completely legally unable to make decisions on your own I don't think they could institutionalize you against your will, not to mention nursing homes are usually really expensive and, you know, for people who need assisted living, so I don't get why they would threaten you with that. I'm not sure about that cause I don't know much about law, but my hunch is it would be hard for them to do that.

The threat is that I'll be sent to a nursing home if I fail to get a job/mature emotionally and can't support myself. The therapist is supposed to help me "become an adult".

You become an adult by standing up on your hind legs and adulting (yes, I know, everyone hates that word, shut up). There's no magical "Adult Badge." Get a job, get an apartment, pay your bills. Bingo, you are an adult. What the hell does "emotional maturity" have to do with the price of eggs? I know plenty of emotionally immature people who are successful at life. There's no magic badge for that either.

Generally nursing homes are for people who have trouble, like, bathing themselves or can't be alone cause they may die if they fall. That's why they are NURSING homes - because nurses work there to medically care for its residents. And that would still cost your parents a good chunk of change. I don't get your parents thought process there at all.

I have a mental disorder - nonverbal learning disorder - and I think that may play into it. I think it's condescending, since aside from social skills I have no problems functioning in day-to-day life.

DA -- That is the threat, but what a bunch of people in this thread are saying is that it sounds like an empty threat. Nursing homes don't just let anyone come live there. There has to be an actual medical reason for you to be admitted, and "bad at self-sufficiency" isn't going to qualify.

They can't do that. They literally, 100% cannot legally do that to you. If they cut off your pocket money, then deal with that fact, because it's the tether that's holding you to them and it's clearly not enough to actually live on.

Why don't you try starting a GoFundMe and link it to your friends? No excuses about anyone finding it or what "might happen"-- you just need enough to get out and get somewhere safe, the rest follows.

They're bluffing. They can't force you to go. (I'd probably call their bluff, but I'm not you and you're the one to live with the consequences.)

For one thing, how are they going to PAY for it? Those places do NOT come cheap, and insurance is not going to just fork over the money. If you do have a condition that was so severe that they would have to pay, you can also use that as a reason to get Disability. (FYI, they reject almost every claim on the first attempt. Keep trying.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3633 ]

Re: Therapist Anon Update

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