fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3651 ]

[ SECRET POST #3651 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3651 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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I wilt stupidly easily. I mean, not at sad movies or whatever, but whenever I feel anxious or put on the spot, or during confrontation, or when criticized. I don't know why I do, I mean, I have had diagnosed anxiety/depression in the past, but I can more or less deal with my inner thoughts. It's just like my body physically reacts to feeling suddenly insecure or confronted.

This is how bad it is. During job evaluations, when I'm getting the "things to work on in the future", unless they are really nice and supportive about it I feel my eyes start to burn up and my throat clench. If I'm asking for a favor, like time off of work (even if I'm entitled to it), and my boss rejects the request, I get the same sensation. If I'm snapped at, yelled at, whatever.

I really hate that I do this. I try to swallow it down but I look so stupid and obvious when my eyes go red and my voice gets high and shaky. I don't know how to be less sensitive, or more to the point, just stop the physical reaction of going into crying mode.

Anyone else have this, and how can I stop it? Not joking, but would anti-anxiety medicine or some other kind of drug do it?

No. I'm sorry, but that's not how antidepressants work. They might help, but the reason why you have these intense reactions to stress or criticism isn't just some weird chemical imbalance. This sounds like a problem that could benefit from a good therapist.

Seconding anon, anti-anxiety medication doesn't work that way. There isn't a drug for this.

I'm also not entirely sure therapy is the answer so much as learning to put yourself in those situations routinely and just... getting used to them. Maybe try some kind of martial art training where you're exposed to conflict and aggression in a controlled environment so you get used to handling it and not breaking down at the first signs of it?

I'm very similar, though maybe don't have it quite as bad as you. And tbh, I think the only way to get over this is practice. That sounds horrible and stupid, but it's true. I used to get waaaay more upset about criticism especially in front of other people, but then I had a few weeks at a job where I had to do things I wasn't properly trained for, or good at, and didn't really want to do anyway, with an annoying supervisor. And he'd correct me and criticize me right in front of other employees and customers. At first it's mortifying, but after a while you learn to shrug it off. If sth is important/personal to me, I still get upset, but smaller stuff doesn't bother me as much anymore.

DA, you're a better person than I am, because going through something like that would have made me quit. Hell, it did. I definitely can't last in an environment like that.

I cry both at movies and IRL all the time.

I don't get cry-y as often as you do, it sounds like, but I still get really embarrassed for crying in situations where it's not warranted. :/

I feel like my response is at least somewhat connected to my depression but idk I guess. I'm also just a really overtly emotional person and that's always been part of my personality and always will be. It's not just crying - I wear happiness, excitement, anger, and irritation on my sleeve just as boldly, whether I want to or not (I can try to rein it in but unless I'm paying total attention to it it will seep out). It's all about finding balance, and just focusing on pulling it back when you need to. As trite as it sounds, breathing exercises may really help.

It wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist about this, at least to see if it's something that either therapy, medication or some other approach might help you to control. (I'm not going to jump to conclusions about whether you have anxiety or anything, so I won't say medication is not a solution at all, but I feel there is a good chance this isn't anxiety-related too?)

There isn't really shame in crying when you're sad or really upset. It just helps to know when being really upset is the appropriate response to something. and even though I don't think it's shameful to cry intrinsically, I do often feel that others are judging me for doing it and it makes me very self-conscious. :(

I have this issue too and I have no idea how to stop it or I would have =_= I have issues sometimes when for example I just have a one-on-one performance review with my boss, I'll be feeling nervous but not really *upset* and yet my eyes start watering. It really frustrates me too because people say "you need to learn not to get so upset" but that's the problem, I'm *not* upset, I just feel maybe a bit anxious, but I can't seem to stop the automatic reaction. Saying "just stop crying" feels to me like saying "just stop hiccuping" to someone with the hiccups, like yes I'd love to if I could but it's not that easy.

I used to have this when I was younger. And well, it's just one of those things you sort of grow out of once you get exposed to the triggers more.

I am more prone to stronger than usual emotional reactions during that time of month, but it's not really like what you describe. Like other anons have said, drugs aren't going to solve your problem like magic, I'm afraid. What you'd have to do is get to the root of why you react this way to anxiety, and develop a coping mechanism.

Therapy is good for that, but what you can try to do on your own is talk yourself down off the ledge during those moments. Take a deep breath and hold it a few seconds, and just tell yourself firmly that this is NOT a big deal and you CAN and WILL handle it. Building up your confidence in other areas might also help.

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[ SECRET POST #3651 ]

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