[ SECRET POST #3761 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3761 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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08. [SPOILERS for Berserk]



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09. [SPOILERS for Pokémon I Choose You]



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10. [WARNING for abuse]

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #536.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't remember hearing anything about this, so I Googled it, and all of the articles I found when googling "Emma Roberts abuse" (like this one: https://www.google.com/amp/hollywoodlife.com/2013/07/16/emma-roberts-arrested-domestic-violence-boyfriend-evan-peters/amp/ ) seem to say it was a one-time fight where they were both hitting each other. (Other articles mentioned Emma had bruises showing a couple of days later.)

Is there more to this? Am I missing something? As a one-time, potentially mutual thing isn't enough for me to condemn someone for being an abuser, but I don't want to support an abuser if she is one. Anyone know more and is willing to share?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think anyone knows more, but as far as it being "mutual" we don't really know that for sure either. Thing is I don't think we'll ever know the whole story since they are an on again/off again couple and men rarely come forward about being victims of abuse by women. She only even got caught because someone else called and he was visibly injured.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
So you assume the worst? I know a lot of people don't come forward about being abused, but a likely one-time thing that may or may not have been a mutual fight is not enough for me to condemn someone for life as a villain. Especially considering they are celebrities and thus are in the spotlight a lot (so arguing would be spotted) and in hotels presumably a reasonable amount (which is how this one was reported). It was years ago and nothing has come up since from what I can see and what you and the other anon responded, so that makes me think the fight story is more accurate. If more come up, I am obviously willing to reevaluate as abuse is horrible no matter who does it.

[(Anonymous)]

It was a one-time fight. They both were drunk and smacked each other. She has not done it again-- and neither has he. They've both regretted and grown up.

Fandom is so goddamn black-and-white, unforgiving, and holier than thou.

[(Anonymous)]

And of course it's in Certain People's interests to portray women abusers as equal in number and severity to male ones.

[thewakokid]

And of course it's in Certain People's interests to pretend they're not, and diminish it when women do it.

But I do agree in this case, I'm not at all sure why anyone would come away from this story with the idea that this was one sided abuse.

[(Anonymous)]

I was abused by a woman and get told repeatedly that it doesn't matter so much because it wasn't done by a man. That's hurtful and frustrating and definitely wants me to raise people's awareness of female abusers.

[thewakokid]

Oh, yeah. Therapy if a fucking shit show with this stuff. It's very well equipped to help deal with the "Violent man Victim woman" dynamic, but outside of that most therapists really don't know how to deal.

[(Anonymous)]

which is incredibly important and i am very sorry this happened to you. i think realising that misogyny hurts BOTH sides is such an integral part of the discussion, but a lot of sjws brush "men suffer from this too don't sweep it under the rug" off as "but what about the men!!"

[thewakokid]

This is a really difficult comment for me to respond to, but I kinda want to so here goes...

but a lot of sjws brush "men suffer from this too don't sweep it under the rug" off as "but what about the men!!"

Totally agree. Literally cant agree more.

But a part of me feels like you pulling all this under the bracket of Misogyny (Which is certainly at play) is a part of that brushing under. Like, there's some misandry here too. it's not a bad thing to call the hatred and the ease at which we blame men vilify and attack men as both a product of misogyny (Women aren't inherent tough enough for them to be abusive) and misandry (men are inherently violent and are prone to doing so much more harm because of how much like cavemen they still are).

I mean, shit, before Misogyny became the word d'jour, we used to just all these assumptions sexism. It was a useful word. It covered it all. Don't quite know how the word became so devalued, but somehow I blame women. (I wish there were a way to add a laugh track to comments so you all know that was supposed to be a joke)

Like it's entirely possible that anon we're talking to is a guy suffering from misogyny or a girl suffering from misogyny, but there's also the angle that if they're a guy that they are worth less protection, they are more pathetic. They're a failure at being a guy if the aren't the violent dominating one. If the anon is a woman, there's the angle that "Well, hell at least you're not being abused by a guy, those fuckers are animals" to go along with the "Well, you're abuser is only a woman, what can she really do?".

Like I say, sexism used to be the word for this before segregating sexism into two classes (and I'm being generous here, because it took a long ass time for society as a whole to accept the existence of misandry) "One class exclusively for women and one for men. Now lets all argue about which class this case fits into" followed by some people saying "I say we put it under Misogyny and throw the men a bone by saying "Misogyny hurts everyone tho""

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
That's what it sounded like with everything I found, so thanks for confirming. I'm not willing to condemn someone for life as an abuser based on just that. If more comes up, I am obviously willing to reevaluate as abuse is horrible no matter who does it.