[ SECRET POST #3767 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3767 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[HBO's Silicon Valley]


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06.
[Princess Nightmare]


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[Little Witch Academia]


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08.
[Broadchurch, Mark Latimer]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #538.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah man. People who struggle with mental health are just selfish bastards, right?

[(Anonymous)]

It's one thing to struggle with grief and depression, and another thing to take it out on your family who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

[(Anonymous)]

But, I mean, that's PART OF IT. Being so consumed by grief and depression that you can't control or don't see what it's doing to the people around you.

[(Anonymous)]

SA
I'm not saying the people affected deserve it and people should only feel bad for him and not them. It's just a really complex thing that I don't think can be boiled down to "struggle in better ways."

[(Anonymous)]

If that were true, then nobody with depression could be held accountable for their actions. That's not the case, because depression might mean you're not in a great place to see what you're doing to the people around you, but it does NOT mean you're unable to control your own actions.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not saying "don't hold people accountable." I'm saying understand that actions during grief and depression don't automatically come from a place of being deliberately selfish. So saying "you're just being selfish!" is a denial of mental health issues and incredibly simple, childish way to view the world.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I don't think anon is saying "he's just being selfish." They're saying "he's being hugely selfish, among other things."

[(Anonymous)]

The secret doesn't say anything about him being deliberately selfish, nor does it deny the character's grief. To me, it seems to say that grief isn't a valid excuse for behaving selfishly, which is true.

[(Anonymous)]

Selfishness is inherently deliberate, imo.

[(Anonymous)]

Not... really, though? For instance, little kids are selfish, but it's not deliberate - it's because they haven't developed a sense of empathy yet. It's entirely possible to be selfish without even being aware of it.

[(Anonymous)]

Ignoring your family isn't 'taking it out on them'. It is a fucking symptom of a disease.

[(Anonymous)]

Have you seen the show? Being emotionally and physically unavailable for your wife (who is also grieving over a lost child) and your teenage daughter (who is grieving over her lost brother) and your baby is a result of mismanaged depression, not a symptom. Also yelling at your family because they don't want to 1) press a civil suit to get money for their dead loved one and 2) hunt down and stalk the man responsible with the intent to harm him is most definitely taking your grief out on them. Especially when you imply that the reason why they don't want to do those things is because, unlike you, they aren't sad enough over the death of the loved one.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT, but yikes! It may be a realistic reaction for some people, but I would lose patience with the character as well. And I think, at least in the way you describe it, it does ring as incredibly selfish where MY grief is so all-consuming that I don't acknowledge anyone else's.

[(Anonymous)]

He should just man up. /s

[(Anonymous)]

Or, you know, continue with therapy and not take it out on his family.

[(Anonymous)]

on the one hand, I agree with you on mental illness, but on the other hand, as a writing decision, I really hate the manpain trend in which dudes almost always get the Super Special Life Destroying Pain That No One Understands including, presumably, the wife who lost the exact same child to the exact same tragedy

it just contributes to a really fucked up cultural perception of only men as the ones with real interiority and struggles

(caveat I know nothing about canon and am going entirely off the secret here)

[(Anonymous)]

This is pretty much exactly what happens, except that there's also a teenage daughter and a small toddler as collateral damage.

[(Anonymous)]

welp

[(Anonymous)]

To be fair, the wife in the show gets a pretty epic rant about how sick to death she is about how her husband deals with the situation: refusing to get help and instead smothering every one else in the family with his grief to the point where she feels she can't grieve for her dead son because he crowds out everyone else in the room.

All things considered, the show handled both sides pretty sympathetically.

[(Anonymous)]

but does the fandom hate her virulently for being a shrill mean harpy

(I got burned so bad on Skylar hate, I will never forget)

[(Anonymous)]

And that rant is 100% on point and well deserved.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm with you on that 100%. It's an annoying trope, and I say this as someone who LIKES angst. It's so damn unhealthy.

[(Anonymous)]

The show Leverage had a great take on this. Nate is all about his dead son and then he runs into his ex-wife who cuts off his Giant Manpain with a brisk comment of "He was my son, too." He got a bit better after that.

[(Anonymous)]

see, leverage was actually one of the offenders I was thinking of, because yeah, she gets to say that, but in terms of the story that actually gets told, who gets to be the Troubled Star of the show and have lingering camera shots for season after season and who turns into a criminal vengeance mastermind....like. the show says that Nate's pain is bigger and more important.

maybe I'm not getting the full context because I had to stop watching in mid s3 when my dad's alcoholism made it too personal and unfun to continue, and maybe I'll go back to it someday (he's been sober for 18 months-ish now) but yeah

[maskitheclown]

I reaallllyyy hated Nate's character a lot but what made him kinda tolerable for me was that every now and then people called him out on his shit, his downward spirals were usually portrayed as negative and he didn't go "bad bad bad GREAT PERSON NOW!" but had realistic ups and downs. (Still don't like him.)