[ SECRET POST #3767 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3767 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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05.
[HBO's Silicon Valley]


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06.
[Princess Nightmare]


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07.
[Little Witch Academia]


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08.
[Broadchurch, Mark Latimer]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #538.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

08. http://i.imgur.com/k2p1T3h.png
[Broadchurch, Mark Latimer]

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah man. People who struggle with mental health are just selfish bastards, right?

[(Anonymous)]

It's one thing to struggle with grief and depression, and another thing to take it out on your family who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

[(Anonymous)]

But, I mean, that's PART OF IT. Being so consumed by grief and depression that you can't control or don't see what it's doing to the people around you.

[(Anonymous)]

Ignoring your family isn't 'taking it out on them'. It is a fucking symptom of a disease.

[(Anonymous)]

He should just man up. /s

[(Anonymous)]

Or, you know, continue with therapy and not take it out on his family.

[(Anonymous)]

on the one hand, I agree with you on mental illness, but on the other hand, as a writing decision, I really hate the manpain trend in which dudes almost always get the Super Special Life Destroying Pain That No One Understands including, presumably, the wife who lost the exact same child to the exact same tragedy

it just contributes to a really fucked up cultural perception of only men as the ones with real interiority and struggles

(caveat I know nothing about canon and am going entirely off the secret here)

[(Anonymous)]

Boy, this does seem pretty harsh towards the idea of grief and emotion

[(Anonymous)]

Grief is a powerful emotion especially when potentiated by guilt.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. Just... wow. I think this is one of the most disgusting secrets I remember.

[(Anonymous)]

Then you need to get out more. Or does the wife not matter because Manpain?

[illiadandoddity]

I'm not familiar with this series, so I can't speak to the specifics of it, but, Jesus Christ, OP, have you ever lost a loved one? Especially a close family member? That sort of grief can destroy a person. It's been over two years since my dad died, and I'm only just now beginning to come out of my grief fog from that, because the way we lost him was a painful, traumatic ordeal for the ENTIRE family.

And that was my parent, OP. With your parents, you kind of expect to lose them some day, so you're in some ways prepared to have that grief dropped on your shoulders. But in the modern world, losing a child? That's not a kind of loss that anyone prepares themselves for anymore, because child mortality rates have dropped so much. Losing a child feels like it's going against the natural order of the world.

This secret just sounds like you seriously lack empathy.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not the OP, and I get what you're saying, but if the character in question has two other kids who are dependent on him who he's ignoring in favor of his grief, that's a completely different situation from yours. Parents have a responsibility to their kids, especially young kids, in a way that kids don't have toward their parents.

[(Anonymous)]

The secret doesn't say that losing a child isn't sad or that it doesn't cause terrible pain and grief. It just says that taking it out on your family (who are, BTW, also grieving just as much as you are) is selfish. I don't see anything un-empathetic about suggesting that it's bad to be a dick to your family even when you're grieving.

[randomdrops]

I tend to feel a mix of this in real life, but in fic? Give me all the self destruction via grief and crap life finally turning out to be too much. Idk it just hits me just right.

[(Anonymous)]

It's called depression, Karen.

[(Anonymous)]

It's called being an arsehole, Bob.

[(Anonymous)]

Newsflash! You can be depressed without behaving like an asshole to the people who love you.

[(Anonymous)]

I know nothing about the show but from what people say in this thread I can see why OP is frustrated. Hoping he also died is a bit too far for me, but I agree with lots of anon that depression and grief isn't an excuse to neglect his remaining family. I know what it's like to be lost in your own emotions, it's terrible and I can sympathize with him but he really should get help instead.

[(Anonymous)]

No parent is supposed to outlive their child. Ever. It destroys most people that it happens to. Sorry you don't like it. There are countless viewers who watched just because it's a rare thing to see what we go through in a quality production.

[(Anonymous)]

Not everyone who lose a loved one (even a child) lashes out at their wife and children while blaming it on grief. Let's not pretend that's an okay thing to do, even in the face of enormous grief and depression.

[(Anonymous)]

I suspect that he was so grief-stricken because he'd lost his son. The female members of the family just weren't as important to him. Like his daughter said, "Why aren't we enough?" Because no willy, presumably.

It's possible to be suicidally depressed without being a selfish git about it as well.

[(Anonymous)]

"I suspect that he was so grief-stricken because he'd lost his son. The female members of the family just weren't as important to him. Like his daughter said, "Why aren't we enough?" Because no willy, presumably."

I wondered if that was part of it, which would make his mistake even more egregious.

"It's possible to be suicidally depressed without being a selfish git about it as well."

Yep. The number of people who don't understand that in this thread... I mean, wow.

[(Anonymous)]

It's possible to be suicidally depressed without being a selfish git about it as well.

While I agree that it's possible, not everyone handles grief the same way. People are acting like he chose to be depressed and is gleefully being an asshole to his family because he feels entitled to be the only one grieving. It's possible he just can't set aside that grief to function even if it's what he should be doing, even if deep down he KNOWS that he should be being a better parent and husband.