[ SECRET POST #3771 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3771 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________


09.


__________________________________________________


10.










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #540.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

whether or not I count as a virgin because I've never had sex with a guy, so I've never had penis-vagina sex. but I'm basically a lesbian (occasional sexual/romantic interest in guys, usually get anxious and uncomfortable if it actually goes anywhere though) and I've had loads of sex with loads of women. but I'm reaching my late twenties and I am irrationally and frequently freaked out about whether or not I'm a virgin and if I'm a huge loser. I want to just do it, but every time I try to meet a guy on like tinder or something, I either get creeped out/turned off, or I genuinely think they are nice people so don't want to use them for one-time achievement unlocked sex.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

>had loads of sex with loads of women
>huge loser


I think you're ok. I don't know this matters so much to you, or if it is healthy but if you are worried about using someone then just be honest and straightforward about your intentions after you vet them and before things progress to that point. But, like, I've had sex with both and you aren't missing much. Just have sex with who you want to have sex with and enjoy it, all the rest is bullshit for other people to worry about.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

heh that sounded super basic in retrospect. mea culpa.

It never bothered me before, but I think it's just something I want to say I've done. I know for sure it's anxiety caused by societal expectations, tied with me going through a massive mid-life crisis in general (twenties are almost done and oh my god what have I (not) accomplished in life). I know the things I've done are absolutely things I consider sex, but it's not the sex people refer to when they talk about sex. It just makes me really self-conscious.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

I think complaining you're a huge loser for only having sex with loads of women is the opposite of basic, but maybe I just spend too much time on reddit lol.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

You've... had a ton of sex with women. You're not a virgin, by definition. You've had sex. Penises don't matter in this equation.

:/ This is genuinely kind of tragic. Please don't believe that there's some magical barrier vaginas have that must be "broken" by a penis in order for sex to count.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, yeah. The logical (and lesbian) part of my brain knows that, but my anxiety and self-consciousness have convinced me I'm practically a spinster because I haven't had the same experience most people in their upper twenties have had. I know it's pretty pathetic, but it's still something that nags at me. I guess it's not really about magical barriers that need to be broken by someone's dick, I guess I mostly just want to be able to say I've done it so I can stop worrying about it.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, do you think all other lesbians are spinster virgins? Is there something about a vague passing interest in dick that makes you more of a virgin than a "gold star" lesbian with no interest in dick whatsoever?

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

I think you're clearly and objectively not a huge loser, and I think there's no point in assigning any status or value whatsoever to the whole concept of virginity, especially in your position, so probably instead of worrying about it try and work on figuring out why that concept matters to you.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

What counts as a loser to you? Not saying the OP IS a loser, just that you said "objectively" and well, "loser" isn't really an objective concept, it means different things to different people.

Re: Things you wish you didn't think about go here

[(Anonymous)]

Whether or not you're a virgin changes depending on your orientation, it's not like it's this one thing that applies to everybody. As far as I'm concerned, it's up to the individual person to define for themselves, and of course there's always the option of just rejecting the whole concept altogether.

I also think you're placing way too much importance on what society dictates or what's considered normal. There are people your age and older who've never had sex with anyone of either gender, are they losers?

I'm 31 and have only had sex with one person in my life, less than a dozen times, and that was when I was 18. Am I a loser? Maybe by society's standards, maybe by your standards, who knows. But that doesn't matter. The important thing is that I've made the choices I have because they were what I wanted. It really doesn't matter whether people think I'm a loser, and it shouldn't matter to you whether people think you are, as long as you're happy with your choices.