[ SECRET POST #3805 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3805 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 40 secrets from Secret Submission Post #545.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

what imaginary creatures bother you with their impossible physiology

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

Centaurs are my number one. Like how do their spines work, where are the lungs, and so forth.

Things with spinny tails (like Tails from Sonic and Buizel from Pokemon) also bother me because the tail would break if spun like a helicopter.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

I'm the pervert who's always wondered about centaur penises. Do they have a horse dong? A human dong? BOTH? (Do centaurs have threesomes?)

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[kaijinscendre]

I'd assume a horse penis because it would need to contract into them. Otherwise, that poor thing is probably getting brutalized by low level brush.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[ketita]

There was a duology of books called "Titan" and "Wizard" and there were these centaur-alien-things that had three sets of genitalia. One in front, one in middle, and one in back. They also didn't have to match up, and would have different kinds of sex with each group.

It was weird, man.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

Fucking centaurs! They have two fucking chests! Makes no sense! Still like them, though.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/8f/6d/bd/8f6dbdc904df0d7cf210336fc4485867.jpg

This is from The Resurrectionist: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black. It has anatomy for all sorts of fantasy creatures.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

Winged humanoids. Wings large enough to let your average human fly would require massive flight muscles, and where do they fit the joints for those wings!? You can't just stick a pair of wings on the back of someone and expect them to be functional without first remodeling their entire torso.

To be honest the latter always bugs me when I see a creature with an extra pair of limbs but no obvious changes to the anatomy to incorporate an extra set of joints!

Also any mythical/magical creature which has a super low population count. How do they remain viable as a reproductive population? Especially if they are confined to a small area.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[kaijinscendre]

Any flying creatures. Pegasus definitely. No way they could fly.

Same with dragons. The traditional, huge monsters you see in fantasy would never be able to fly.

But I do think they could realistically breathe fire (or something similar to fire).

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

Have you ever seen Flight of Dragons? They posit that dragons fill up like balloons and that's how they fly.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[junee]

I think dragons could work if their body plan was more pterosaur like, especially azhdarchids like.

But, yeah, six limbed, flying vertebrates make no sense.

I actually have a speculative bio idea about dragons being venom spitters like spitting cobras. Apparently, cobra venom burns like hell when it hits the skin. Humans being humans, I don't think it would be a stretch for burning venom to be retold as fire.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[philstar22]

This is very true. But I love dragons, so I go with it. In universes that have magic, I think that's a reasonable answer. And otherwise, I just ignore it because dragons are awesome.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

For me, it's the boobs on non-mammal aliens. I guess mermaids too, but I was thinking about the Star Wars aliens where they canonically lay eggs and everything else reads amphibian or reptile and just, why do the women have breasts? (Besides the obvious.)

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

That reminds me of this comic: http://i.imgur.com/mqbVlfC.png

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[ketita]

Yeah, that drives me crazy too. It just really drives home the "females must be hot", or perhaps "if I don't KNOW she's a female because boobs then ??????" or whatever underlies those decisions.

Drove me crazy in Avatar, too. It's way too obvious when the alien ladies are more fap material than alien ladies.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

http://oglaf.com/dimorphism/

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[nightscale]

Yeah, I never noticed it much when I was a kid but as I got older and I saw boobs on reptilian-ladies(for example) I'd find myself going 'wat' because there's no reason for it.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[diet_poison]

...I'm reading bottom to top so I saw this after Sarillia's comment but I agree so damn hard w both of you.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[cakemage]

I feel I would be remiss if I didn't post a link to this Order of the Stick comic.

Also, Argonians have already been mentioned, but speaking of Elder Scrolls beast races, it seems like Khajiit women should have at least four breasts, if not six, seeing as how they tend to have litters. Although how they manage that considering how they're bipedal and about the same size as humans, or at least the type we actually see in-game are, that is (apparently their appearance differs based on how their birthdates correspond to the moon cycles). Maybe their kittens are all just exceptionally tiny at birth, and that's how they manage to safely have so many at once? I don't know, and I have a feeling that I shouldn't think too hard about it. Down that path lies madness. And skooma. Mmm, skooma...

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[sarillia]

Non-mammalian anthropomorphic animals with breasts always bug me.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, or mammals with boobs in the wrong place.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[diet_poison]

Omg THIS. Why do argonians have breasts?? (There are other examples, but that always comes to mind. It's so dumb)

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[el_regrs]

This is an old one, but the Nu from Chrono Trigger.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[randomdrops]

That damn Janeane Garofalo character from Titan A.E.

I do not understand the decision to design legs that way.

Re: Fictional creatures and their wonky anatomy

[ketita]

What... what the fuck are those legs.