fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3884 ]

[ SECRET POST #3884 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3884 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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% chance the response here would be the same if the genders were flipped?

OP would be getting torn a new one, you know it.

Speaking for myself, yeah. As long as everyone's of legal age either way, I don't really care.

It's not the legality of it that's the issue. Maybe men and women are wired differently in this respect, but speaking for myself, I was never turned off so fast as when I realised the cute guy I was having a drink with was an infant when I was 20.

As long as you don't think you're speaking for all women.

Did I say I was? No, I did not.

Maybe men and women are wired differently in this respect

Statistically speaking, she's right though. Statistically, the age heterosexual men find most attractive fluctuates very little in relation to their own age. Whereas, statistically speaking, the age heterosexual women find most attractive fluctuates a LOT in relation to their own age.

AYRT

Oh, yeah, I absolutely get that, too. That can be a very tough mental block to shake. And that sort of age gap can make it harder in terms of compatibility for some people as well, because it can lead to generational differences in terms of interests and reference points and whatnot. There's definitely plenty of other valid reasons why some people struggle with age gaps when it comes to who they're attracted to/want to date that are worth considering.

Just simply saying that whether it's an older man/younger woman or older woman/younger man, if they're both adults, then I don't see the problem in the mere attraction (or interest in dating( they'd have towards each other in and of itself, is all.

No they are not "wired differently", Gender essentialist BS.

But anon, she has a feel, so obviously all women must have the same feel. That's how gender works, right?

Whether its a biological imperative or socialization, on average, yes, we really are "wired" differently.

http://jezebel.com/mens-favorite-ages-are-20-21-22-and-23-a-data-dive-1731660984

Doesn't the phrase "wired differently" perforce imply a biological difference? That's how I've always seen it used in the past.

And I have no problem with the idea that men and women might think and behave differently in certain contexts, but a huge problem with arbitrarily deciding that the reason they behave differently is due to innate biological differences.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2017-08-23 08:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2017-08-23 23:20 (UTC) - Expand

I'd be more surprised that a man felt bad or awkward about it. They don't normally seem to.

The sad thing is that women think they should feel bad about it. Not that men don't.

But the conversation about men being attracted to younger women - at least places like here - often frames it as "creepy". Which would imply that they should feel bad about it.

Again - the sad thing is that any person of any gender would feel bad about it, or be guilt-tripped about it by anyone of any gender.

NAYRT

I don't think anyone should feel bad for being attracted to people who are of age, but much younger than them. However, if someone in their forties/fifties is pretty much exclusively attracted to/only interested in dating people who are in their early twenties, then I do think that's kind of skeevy, and also kind of sad. And if people thinking that about them makes them feel bad, well, then I guess they'll have to feel bad.

Lmao yeah. It's seen as totally acceptable for dudes to be attracted to someone way younger than them and they almost never get any shit from it.

Do women usually get shit for it? By comparison, I mean.

This is what I wondered....from personal experience, not really...

Women get less shit for it than men. Women just get made fun of. Men get called creepy and predatory.

Where are you in society that men all get called creepy and predatory for it? My uncle is ridiculously rich. After divorcing his second wife when he was in his 60s, he went out with a bunch of 20-something model types. And usually people were fine with it. I basically just see it as expected a lot of the time that older wealthy men will be with younger beautiful women. I'm not saying it is right, just not unexpected.

Tumblr isn't the real world, nor is it representative of the world at large. In real life, older men date/marry younger women all the time and generally nobody says boo unless it's a very large age gap. Even then, they're not necessarily called creepy and predatory and it's the women who are called gold-diggers.

NA

(Anonymous) - 2017-08-23 07:40 (UTC) - Expand

But everyone on here HATES that it's seen as totally acceptable! This whole thread is complaining about the fact that it's seen as totally acceptable!

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