[ SECRET POST #532 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #532 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #076.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: 115

[cleverthylacine]

...if he likes you that much why does it matter that you're big?

Re: 115

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know whether it truly does, actually; he's been very accepting of me and my limitations so far. Our relationship is still developing slowly over time; in terms of friendship, it has already developed far beyond what I ever expected as we've slowly grown to know one another better. What makes me wonder about how far it could go someday is that he touches me more often than I'd expect to be touched by a friend, though I have to acknowledge that he's a fairly touchy-feely person with all his friends, compared to most guys.

But the thing is, *I* have a serious psychological problem with being this big; it makes me reluctant to open up to the possibility that more might develop there, now or in the future (with him, or with anyone else). I've grown very accustomed to rejection based on size, and I very much don't want to risk what we have by trying to make the friendship become more when he has what so many people before him have found to be such a compelling reason to reject me, even for mere friendship. So even if he wanted more, I probably wouldn't know and would be resistant to going there; I'd be afraid to ruin things by letting him see how much I feel. One that cat's out of the bag it's impossible to put back in, and experience has taught me it can instantly ruin a friendship.

*shrugs* Cry moar, I know. But I'm fairly happy with us as we are, and I'm doing what I think is best to enable the relationship to progress, if it ever will-- and losing weight will help me in all sorts of other ways, into the bargain, so it's win/win even if he and I never go anywhere more romantic than we already have.

Re: 115

[cleverthylacine]

This all makes perfect sense to me. I'm relieved that he hasn't said or done anything to make you think he thinks less of you for your size.

Re: 115

[(Anonymous)]

Word.