fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3956 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3956 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Gustaf, Bill and Alexander Skarsgård]

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03.

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04.

(the 2007 adaptation of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park)

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05.

[Intelligence]

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06.

[Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice]

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07.

[Yuri on Ice]

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08.

[Star Trek Voyager]

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09.

[#Blessed]

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10.

[Criminal Minds]

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11. https://i.imgur.com/bPBlIrK.png
[linked for illustrated porn, giant dick/bulging stomach stuff]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #566.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well... it just depends on the people involved and the circumstances? Sort of like how some people are totally quiet during sex and other people are screamers.

I've been fucked to where I was squirming and moaning and going full ahegao, but I've also been fucked where it felt nice but I wasn't losing my mind. But, I'm one of those rare guys that can come fairly easily just from getting fucked, so I guess take that with a grain of salt?

As for when you're the one doing the penetration, that also depends? I'm generally focusing on two things when I'm fucking someone. 1 is not hurting them, because I'm a pretty strong guy and I could definitely hurt my partner if I got rough. And 2 is trying to get them off, because basically nothing is hotter than fucking someone through their orgasm imo. So I usually feel a little more detached from the experience. I mean it still feels great but it's not as all-consuming as getting fucked usually for me. But then there's also been times when I've gotten lost in the sensations.

ayrt

That's interesting. Thanks for the double perspective! So it does sound like there's more to "take care of" when penetrating, which can also distract a bit from just enjoying it. And being careful with your partner is definitely necessary.
If you don't mind my asking a followup question - are there ways of being "active" while being penetrated that also provide a similar sort of distraction or demand attention? Or not as much?

I think so, yeah. Like I personally don't like cowgirl/riding someone/whatever you want to call it because I'm always worried I'll shift the wrong way and then they've just gotten a serious injury. Same thing when it's someone else riding me, I always end up having a death grip on their hips because D: D: D: There's plenty of positions like that where the one being penetrated is controlling the movement or else it's more of a team effort.

Plus, I mean, the person getting fucked could be doing any number of things, like maybe they're focused on kissing, or using a toy, or idk watching TV.

Sorry if this is off topic, but is there a distinction between a person fucking someone and a person "getting fucked?"

Some people seem to use the terms like: "Fucking someone" = penetrating someone and "getting fucked" = being penetrated, but other times you here comments like "he found out his girlfriend was fucking some guy!" Is one incorrect?

In English it can be used either way. Both are correct.

You can use "fucking" in a general sense to just mean sex (like your example "his girlfriend was fucking some guy"). Or you can use it more specifically like fucking someone vs getting fucked by someone.

I feel a lot of pressure "on top" to:

1. not orgasm before it's time
2. have an orgasm before an unspecified time limit, because if you don't it's taken as a sign that you're not into your partner
3. control the pace so my partner has orgasms even though their pace is usually not my preferred pace
4. deal with the weird gender triggers that might come up.

So given a choice, I generally prefer other activities.

"deal with the weird gender triggers that might come up."

For you or the other person? What do you mean here?

A depressing number of people have survived abuse of different types. And I suspect from now on I'm going to stick to queer partners, so many of us are going to have some gender socialization baggage as well.

I'm not going to describe specific triggers, but when I'm already ambivalent about being a penetrating partner for reasons related to my uncertain gender identity, getting into the typical pornographic dirty-talk banter based on a gendered "stud/bitch" dichotomy is likely to throw me right out of the mood.

EDIT: Basically, some people like that kind of gender roleplay during sex, and some of us are really uncomfortable with it.

Edited 2017-11-03 15:07 (UTC)

op!anon

Thank you for sharing that. Since I don't have any sexual experience, I had no idea about this sort of thing. It does sound complicated to navigate.
I think it's interesting (and kind of depressing) how society seems to push this narrative of people with dicks always being gung-ho about shoving them wherever they can, or that being the penetrating one is "better" or "stronger". It's very damaging, I think.

And if you don't have a dick, it kinda sucks that you have no choice but to be considered passive/submissive/"worse" or whatever.

[ SECRET POST #3956 ]

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