fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3956 ]

[ SECRET POST #3956 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3956 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Gustaf, Bill and Alexander Skarsgård]

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

(the 2007 adaptation of Jane Austen's Mansfield Park)

__________________________________________________

05.

[Intelligence]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Yuri on Ice]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Star Trek Voyager]

__________________________________________________

09.

[#Blessed]

__________________________________________________

10.

[Criminal Minds]

__________________________________________________

11. https://i.imgur.com/bPBlIrK.png
[linked for illustrated porn, giant dick/bulging stomach stuff]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #566.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

/is a virgin, possibly asexual, most knowledge of sex comes secondhand

One thing that gets to me is how in most visual media it looks like the penetrator is super cool and collected, while the penetratee is squirming and eye-rolling and drooling out of their heads.
It makes me wonder, does it actually feel better to be penetrated? Do people penetrating not get lost in the sensations? Is this a huge exaggeration of what penetration feels like?

Is this a huge exaggeration of what penetration feels like?

Absolutely. Not that it doesn't feel great (for some, not everyone enjoys it and that's totally normal too), but the falling to pieces because you've got a dick in you thing is a massive exaggeration.

For the record, a moderate majority of women and a larger majority of men can't get off on penetration alone, and need clitoral/penile stimulation to get over the edge. So that's a pretty good indication of how over-the-top and exaggerated porn is!

ayrt

Hmm. So I wonder if part of it isn't also some of the cultural dick-worshiping we see. I guess it also makes sense since a lot of porn is more male-gazey, so of course you'd want to think of the penetratee being ecstatic about your dick... I guess?

I can't answer for everyone but sometimes the initial penetration is the best part just because of all the build up and now it's finally happening and it's a huge rush and a sort of release and relief. Other times, it's just a formality before the good stuff happens. I think the first is what you're seeing on the face of the person being penetrated.

As for being the one to penetrate: most of my partners have looked as you described. I've had partners say that all of their focus is on not hurting their partner and they've talked about having to fight the urge to just slam in full force. One said it was for concern about hurting himself or his partner, which made me giggle because I can well imagine how terribly wrong that could go.

they've talked about having to fight the urge to just slam in full force

fuck that's hot

I really wish I had a dick for a day so I could answer this authoritatively. I bet it feels a lot better than being penetrated.

A lot of people with dicks feel the opposite, I doubt one is truly better than the other

Of course they do. People always want what they can't have.

I don't really have sex with men so I can't say what that is like for a penetrating partner, but penetration is good but not mind melting. Which is pretty much what sex is. Its great, it feels great, I love it, but its also really over exaggerated in the media.

The answer to those questions is it depends on:

1. the people involved
2. their moods
3. the quality of the experience
4. the phase of the moon and the price of tea in China.

tl;dr: Don't trust porn for realism.

ayrt

I definitely wasn't thinking there was realism there, but that's kind of why I wanted to hear from people who have had the experience and how it felt to them. Since this type of portrayal, specifically with the penetrated being more "overcome" by the experience, seems pretty common.

Re: question for sex-havers

cbrachyrhynchos - 2017-11-03 03:13 (UTC) - Expand

I don't think it's about assuming that porn is real.

If people haven't had sex, how else are they supposed to understand what it's like except asking about it

Re: question for sex-havers

cbrachyrhynchos - 2017-11-03 01:09 (UTC) - Expand

For me penetration feels... alright on it's own? But it's sort of the MSG of sex, it enhances everything else and makes it feel a lot better.

It might be different for penetrated men vs. penetrated women.

I'm sure, but I asked the question broadly on purpose so that people could share whatever experience they wanted to.

It's definitely exaggerated in media, and even more so in porn. Like I'm someone who enjoys penetration but it's not so mind-meltingly good that I forget my own name, it does feel good though and depending on my mood can feel very good, but it's never like how the media makes it out to be.

Mostly it just boils down to how much I'm in the mood, which I imagine is the same for a lot of people.

I kinda hate this trope, because I'm female but really hate the idea of being expected to be all... squirmy and gooey, while the other person is calm and collected (like, they're in control and I'm not). But at the same time, I'm not sure I'd actually like a guy being less collected, because it would probably be less squirmy and more, well, like someone said above "slamming into someone full force." Which is definitely not hot to me.

TBH, I kind of feel like sex would be pointless for me.

This is a million% how I feel. There's something weirdly offputting about the whole imagery, to me. I don't want to be that.

Well... it just depends on the people involved and the circumstances? Sort of like how some people are totally quiet during sex and other people are screamers.

I've been fucked to where I was squirming and moaning and going full ahegao, but I've also been fucked where it felt nice but I wasn't losing my mind. But, I'm one of those rare guys that can come fairly easily just from getting fucked, so I guess take that with a grain of salt?

As for when you're the one doing the penetration, that also depends? I'm generally focusing on two things when I'm fucking someone. 1 is not hurting them, because I'm a pretty strong guy and I could definitely hurt my partner if I got rough. And 2 is trying to get them off, because basically nothing is hotter than fucking someone through their orgasm imo. So I usually feel a little more detached from the experience. I mean it still feels great but it's not as all-consuming as getting fucked usually for me. But then there's also been times when I've gotten lost in the sensations.

ayrt

That's interesting. Thanks for the double perspective! So it does sound like there's more to "take care of" when penetrating, which can also distract a bit from just enjoying it. And being careful with your partner is definitely necessary.
If you don't mind my asking a followup question - are there ways of being "active" while being penetrated that also provide a similar sort of distraction or demand attention? Or not as much?

Re: question for sex-havers

soldatsasha - 2017-11-03 06:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: question for sex-havers

(Anonymous) - 2017-11-03 09:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: question for sex-havers

soldatsasha - 2017-11-03 18:30 (UTC) - Expand

I feel a lot of pressure "on top" to:

1. not orgasm before it's time
2. have an orgasm before an unspecified time limit, because if you don't it's taken as a sign that you're not into your partner
3. control the pace so my partner has orgasms even though their pace is usually not my preferred pace
4. deal with the weird gender triggers that might come up.

So given a choice, I generally prefer other activities.

Re: question for sex-havers

(Anonymous) - 2017-11-03 14:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: question for sex-havers

cbrachyrhynchos - 2017-11-03 14:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: question for sex-havers

(Anonymous) - 2017-11-03 16:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: question for sex-havers

(Anonymous) - 2017-11-03 22:38 (UTC) - Expand

I'm an ace virgin, but I enjoy masturbating (and it is sexual for me, in that I think about my OTP fucking while I do it).

Personally, I've never been able to figure out how to enjoy penetration at all, let alone enjoy it in the OTT way it's usually depicted on TV and in movies. I'm not sure if I just have no internal sensitivity or what. *shrugs*

Hopefully not TMI, but spending more time on sex toy and dildo forums helped me there. I thought I didn't enjoy penetration, turns out what I don't like is A. Burny stingy awful toxic* toys, B. Disembodied human dick toys, and C. Smooth untextured toys.

Finding forums where people were happy to break down toy features and discuss what they liked/disliked about each one really helped me find toys that felt really good.

*toxic is the generally used catch-all term for toys that contain substances that are prone to cause irritation and burning sensations in people.

Re: question for sex-havers

(Anonymous) - 2017-11-03 18:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: question for sex-havers

(Anonymous) - 2017-11-03 20:42 (UTC) - Expand

I love getting fucked, and sometimes it IS the writhing and moaning kind, and sometimes just "fuck yeah this is fun times!" kind. But my boyfriend is the same - sometimes he's real collected and focusing on driving me on, and sometimes he's the one with his eyes rolling back for most of it.

Porn is porn, you gotta take it with a grain of salt. It's more about what their audience wants to see than what it's really like.

could you just have a brain bleach with 50 shade of gray? like this is a suggestion....

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only