[ SECRET POST #3971 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3971 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

It’s spoilers and content warnings all the way down.




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01. [SPOILERS for Stranger Things Season 2]
https://i.imgur.com/jFSn4zu.png


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02. [SPOILERS for Great British Bake Off]



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03. [SPOILERS for Stranger Things]



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04. [SPOILERS for Stranger Things]



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05. [WARNING for discussion of sexual harassment]



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06. [WARNING for discussion of rape]



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07. [WARNING for discussion of sex abuse / sex rp / underage?]

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #568.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. [WARNING for discussion of sex abuse / sex rp / underage?]
https://i.imgur.com/LaFAuCR.png

[(Anonymous)]

Leave it be and move on and try to do better.

[(Anonymous)]

Seconded. Leave her be for her own sake (many kids online are in the "I'm mature for my age!" stage, as long as you never touched her or sent her dick pics, there's no need to remind her of her blunder years). Also stop obsessing over it for your own sake, before your guilt turns into a sort of forbidden fruit, a fetish. Don't do it again and move on.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see anything wrong with that, but I guess I grew up in a different era.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I mean, considering I WAS one of those teens, I find it hard to be bothered by this?

[(Anonymous)]

I;m probably in the minority, but, I don't think RPing sex or even cybering is remotely the same as fucking a teenager.

[(Anonymous)]

I would say it's generally pretty fucked up and suboptimal even if it's not the same as fucking a teenager

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty sure a whole lot of people other than you have done this without knowing. Especially in big games. It is super easy to lie and get into a game that's all about sex.

Idk, IMHO in terms of terrible I would not rate this anywhere near "sexting an underage child." Both are bad, but the level of bad is way different. Writing sex does not necessarily have to be a sexual experience. Unless of course you were RPing yourself or pressuring her to RP sex scenes with you, or turning it into a sexual experience. Then that gets creepy.

Ultimately I think it's on her to decide whether you need forgiving or not.

[diet_poison]

eeeeeeeh you probably shouldn't have done it, but also I think you're making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be? I dunno. If she is somehow upset by it, then it's not a good idea to contact her. But teenagers RP things online aaaaall the time.

I would do as first anon said - move on and try to do better.

[(Anonymous)]

I did a lot of NC-17 RPing as a teenager, including as a young teen. I lied about my age and I'm sure at least some of my RP partners were probably significantly older. It was something I thought back to recently actually, mostly because Purity Culture seems a lot more concerned with A. Fictional underage characters, and B. Adults writing fictional sex that minors might find. There's very little pearl clutching about adults consuming adult content made by minors and making sure the people writing/drawing smut are old enough. (I guess because uwu soft bois and gurls don't ever do that? *coughcough* )

As long as you never took advantage of their age to be creepy/abusive you shouldn't feel guilty. Like if they ever contact you and ask for an apology you can give it, but I wouldn't seek them out and make them feel weird over something they've likely not really thought about. Or heck, something they might be proud of.

And pushing boundaries and being abusive/controlling is nasty no matter what age your partner is. So if that's what you were doing and that's what you feel guilty about, then... stop doing that in general no matter who you're with?

[(Anonymous)]

This to me seems about on par with beta-ing smut? Back in the day, emailing a beta'd smutfic to a minor could have been prosecuted under the "distributing pornography to a minor" if their parent ever get wind of it and decided to explode.

[(Anonymous)]

Yo. I was in a similar situation, but I was the younger party. I'm not going to lie, that relationship did hurt me a lot but it was for multiple reasons other than the RPing (and the RPing was only a big deal because it was graphic and basically cybering with name changes). And my advice is.... Leave it.

Either the other person wasn't hurt by anything, and there's no sense bringing it up. Or they were hurt by it, and it's up to them to decide what they want to do now. If they contact you to try and get some closure, that's on them. If they want to get past it and move on, that's also on them. Either way, there is nothing YOU can do really. Just work on yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

If you haven't contacted her in years and have no idea about how or if it affected her, I wouldn't contact her. And I think it was dumb of you, but it was only really gross if you were getting off on it, or trying to get her off--basically if you were writing one-handed or wanted a sexual relationship with her. Otherwise don't do it again, and I wouldn't contact her to apologize unless you still keep in touch and she's been flipping out about the news lately or something.

[(Anonymous)]

I hope if you go to her, she cuts your dick off.

[soldatsasha]

Has she ever said something that makes you think she wasn't okay with this? Is she actually upset or are you just projecting all over the place here. If she hasn't, you need to get over it/yourself.

I had sex with adults when I was a teenager. I also cybered with adults, RP'd erotic scenes with adults, accessed porn and smut by lying about my age, and so on.

I would honestly be offended if any one of those adults tried to apologize to me, then or now. I could only see such an apology as an attempt by that other person to invalidate my choices, my positive experiences, and my consent. Because such an apology would really be saying "I know you better than you know yourself, and I've decided that you should feel violated by this."

I've been raped and sexually assaulted. They aren't remotely the same thing as RPing with someone online.

[(Anonymous)]

I dunno, OP. I started RPing when I was really young and yeah, there were some smutty scenes, but I don't even think about it now and I'm sure some of my RP partners were adults. I'd be kinda confused if one of them reached out to apologize because all my partners were really nice and civil to me in the OOC threads. I guess I'd feel differently if they'd tried pressuring me to give them private info and send nudes and shit like that. Maybe you can ask yourself why you feel you need to apologize to your partner. Was it just because you RPed smut with her or were you doing something else, like trying to coerce into doing/writing something she was uncomfortable with?

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe I’m shitty for thinking this, but I don’t see anything wrong with ERPing with minors. RPing is basically co-writing fic. And even if you’re getting off on it, it’s still not the other person you’re getting off to, it’s the story. You’re not sexually interacting with each other, you’re working together on a writing project.

[(Anonymous)]

I was the teen in this situation, once upon a time. It's nowhere in the same ballpark as intentionally going after underage people. Don't worry too much about it.

[(Anonymous)]

You didn't cyber unless you meant to cyber, you *wrote fiction together*. While it could still be misinterpreted by a bystander, and could get you in legal trouble because of that, if you didn't intend to have internet sex, you did nothing particularly wrong morally.

In fact, maybe you gave that person a safe outlet for feelings and ideas they might have tried to experiment with in more dangerous real life ways.

[(Anonymous)]

16 is the age of consent in most places (even Australia where an image of a 16 or 17 year old is child porn!) so why make a big deal out of it?

[(Anonymous)]

So at what point would you cut yourself a break? If they were above every global age of consent? I'm sorry current fandom culture has you convinced that words don't mean things.

[(Anonymous)]

Purity culture is significantly more harmful than RPing smut with a 16 yo.

[(Anonymous)]

I would just discreetly leave the RP and find another RP to join. Some dogs are better left sleeping.

Maybe do talk to her

[(Anonymous)]

Most people in fandom will not consider what you did abuse and the girl probably won't hold it against you, but it may be a good idea to get back in touch and acknowledge that you did something wrong and wouldn't do again. Don't ask her to forgive you, just tell her that you regret having done it. Make her feel acknowledged if she really was hurt, but don't put it on her to forgive you or send her a feelings dump about what a terrible person you are. That way it won't be weird even if she doesn't think you did anything wrong. Good luck!

[(Anonymous)]

What is age of consent even for if people past said age can still have their consent invalidated by late onset guilt?