[ SECRET POST #3994 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3994 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 49 secrets from Secret Submission Post #572.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Venting

[(Anonymous)]

For several weeks now a holiday day trip with my dad has been planned with the invited members being him, stepmom, me, my spouse. A week ago we narrowed it down to sometime this week. Today I text him asking what day would be best and he comes back saying he still needs to ask my sister if there's a day she's free.

She's not invited.

She's not invited for so many, many reasons.

She is a vile, rude, annoying, inconsiderate, sometimes dangerous person. The sometimes dangerous depends on what cocktail of illegal drugs she happens to be on at the time.

I know dad would very much like me to suck it up and pretend like I love her because it fits his idea of a big happy family, but bitch tried to strangle me once when she was strung out on something or other.

Just why do this? Why make me be the bad guy? I'm normally happy to pretend like I don't outright hate her, for his sake, but that encourages him to try and set up more 'family' stuff, or start inviting her along, like this.

Fuck it, I was looking forward to this, but if he's invited her he can spend the day with her instead. I'm out. I'll do something with spouse instead.

Re: Venting

[(Anonymous)]

Call him on it. Let him know that you get he wants to play happy families, but pretending that she's not physically violent and dangerous won't change reality. Try not to JADE:


http://outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain

Because remember, this is not a negotiation. Make it very clear that if he tries to spring her as a surprise, you'll leave and there'll be consequences for him if he betrays your trust like that. Stress that he cannot magically fix your relationship with your sister, he can only damage his relationship with you. If you decide to chance it and go, make sure you have an escape plan that doesn't rely on your dad or other family members who might think that "trapping" you on the trip is a good solution.

Re: Venting

[(Anonymous)]

Nice update, he's claiming he mistyped, which is his way of saying 'you're right, but I don't want to admit I'm wrong' so... I'll take it.

And he knows damn well if he surprises me with her I'll walk out and always make sure it's an option. Another well-meaning relative years ago decided I was being 'difficult' about things and lied about her being invited to a family get-together so I'd show up. I showed up, saw she was there, went 'so sorry I can't stay' and walked out. It was a huge blow-up. Lots of tearful phone calls about how could I be so rude! I stuck to my guns and refused to apologize. Since then I've been wary, but no one else has pulled any surprises.

Re: Venting

[(Anonymous)]

Replying to myself, I kind of want to add, I make that sound a lot more badass than it was. I spent a week or two after I noped out there crying and terrified of the fall out and wanting to give in and apologize under the pressure. It was one of the hardest things I ever did, but it made things so much easier in the long run.