[ SECRET POST #4029 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4029 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #577.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. https://i.imgur.com/0u4JWUy.png

[(Anonymous)]

Now I want to know what show it is. Guesses?

[(Anonymous)]

For some weird reason the first thing that came to mind is Scorpion. Although one couple is actively attempting to have a baby, so that wouldn't be shocking, and the other doesn't exactly fit the "all the stuff they've been through" mentioned in the secret (which to me implies a long-term relationship, although I could be wrong about that) and they've barely been together a few months.

So I'm going to guess Grey's Anatomy. I've never seen it but I know there's about a billion seasons and all sorts of relationship drama so it could fit maybe?

[(Anonymous)]

What's a blind item?

[(Anonymous)]

Depending on how much info the person telling it wants to give, it can be anything from one line to a few paragraphs, describing a situation but without any identifying details, and then people guess who/what it's about.

Most of the time they're about celebrities. Like "this actor, who's been in several action movies, is cheating on his wife with the leading lady in his new film" or something along those lines, and then people guess who the people involved are. Sometimes it's revealed who it was about, and sometimes it never is.

And sometimes people will do them about TV shows, about upcoming storylines. Like, "this show is going to kill off its main character in a shocking twist" or something.

I see them on entertainment sites all the time about US based people/shows, so I have no idea why the person below is assuming it's Korean.

[(Anonymous)]

My understanding is that a blind item is a news story or report of a rumor that doesn't name any names or give details that give away who is being discussed. So like "Reportedly, a big name in Hollywood is filing for divorce because his wife cheated on him with another woman." In this case, it would be something like "An insider reports that a little bundle of joy will be arriving for a main character on a popular show next season!" Then you try to guess what that's about. I guess it's either to avoid legal trouble or covering your ass if it turns out not to be true. That or people have fun guessing.

[(Anonymous)]

It's a rumor about a celeb (or in this case a show) where the celeb isn't named, but the item contains clues for readers to figure it out. Here is a popular blind item site with examples: http://blindgossip.com

[(Anonymous)]

blind item is making me think it might be something korean?

[greghousesgf]

as someone with zero interest in having babies, I always hated in TV shows when a character (usually but not always female) who never showed any desire to have kids suddenly thinks their life is going to be incomplete without kids. gah.

[(Anonymous)]

Same. It's always annoyed me that Robin on HIMYM was upset when she found out she couldn't have kids, even though she'd always been adamant about not wanting them. If I found that out, I'd be thrilled. And Brennan from Bones, as far as I can remember, never wanted kids until she magically decided she needed them (I haven't seen every episode so I might be wrong about that one, but at least that's how I remember it).

If it's canon that the character wants kids, then that's fine. But not everyone wants kids and the "never wanted kids until suddenly deciding your life will be miserable without them" reminds me way too much of everyone always telling me I'd change my mind, like they somehow knew what I wanted more than I did. I'm now almost too old to have them (32), and still haven't changed my mind so I kind of want to tell everyone who's told me that to go fuck themselves.

[greghousesgf]

In 18 days I will be 56. I had my tubes tied in the early 90s and the only regret I had is I should have done it earlier.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm 1000% with you on how annoying and condescending it is when people tell you you'll want kids eventually. But woah, you consider 32 almost too old to have kids? I would consider 42 almost too old to have kids, but 32? I know it differs for everyone, but I know several people who've had kids at 40+.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Ah, maybe I'm wrong then. I mean, I know people do (my aunt was in her 40s when she had my cousin), but I thought it was one of those things that's just not a good idea, and that's what I was going by. I thought 35 was the cutoff for when it was no longer medically advisable to have kids, but it's entirely possible I'm wrong about that.

[were_lemur]

I'm 43 and I'm still getting regular periods. *facepalm*

[(Anonymous)]

43 and just a couple of years back people would be horrified I didn't have kids and then say "41 that's not too late!!" Like no, I don't want any, go away.

[(Anonymous)]

For Robin, I believe it was more that the choice of whether or not to have children was taken away from her, that upset more than the not having kids. This was actually very realistic to me because I know several people who had this same reaction when they either intended on never having children or being done having children. On the outside, it looks like it should be fine, but it really did a number on their heads.

[(Anonymous)]

I think that's a very understandable reaction. I don't want kids, but a part of me wonders if that's what I really, really feel or if it's at least partly a reaction to the fact that I haven't been in a position to have them financially, job-wise, and partner-wise. I definitely don't want a kid right now - I'm single, don't have the money to support a kid on my own, and the nature of my job (frequent travel) would make raising a child alone impossible, since I have no family nearby. If I really, really wanted to have a kid on my own, I might be able to make it work if I found a different job that both pays better and is single-parent friendly, but that's way easier said than done! I mean, as my mother once said, having a child is never convenient, so there's going to be sacrifice no matter what, but it's just not possible in my current situation without a partner and a second income.

So, a part of me worries about approaching the end of my reproductive years without getting into a situation where having a kid is at least remotely possible because that means the option is gone and I was never in a position to freely decide without such massive constraints.

[(Anonymous)]

32 isn't almost too old. You will probably have people bugging you about it into your 40s, unfortunately.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't mind if characters have kids and are happy about it, but yeah, it's really irritating when they have a sudden personality shift out of nowhere. It wouldn't be so bad if it were addressed, like "I never wanted kids, but now that I'm pregnant, I'm happy about it. Is that weird? I feel so conflicted!"

In my IRL experience though, people who want kids don't always talk about it, so I can get the impression someone doesn't want them and then suddenly they are having them on purpose. Turns out they did want them, they just weren't BABIES BABIES BABIES! all the time. Like when my cousin was in grad school and was complaining about the doctor at student health asking her if she was really, really sure she wanted to stay on birth control. I figured she must not want kids. Actually, she just didn't want to get pregnant before she finished her doctorate, and she had a kid soon after.

DA

[(Anonymous)]

In my IRL experience though, people who want kids don't always talk about it, so I can get the impression someone doesn't want them and then suddenly they are having them on purpose. Turns out they did want them, they just weren't BABIES BABIES BABIES! all the time.

This is always such a stumbling block for me (specifically with fiction, not RL), because when something isn't established early on about a character I tend to default to having a headcanon in which the character is the same as me. So if a character doesn't mention wanting kids, I default to thinking they don't really want them, because I don't really want kids. Same with siblings. If siblings aren't mentioned within at least the first season, I default to thinking that character is an only child, because I'm an only child. And that headcanon ends up solidifying in my mind, and then if the writers contradict it down the line, it always feels really wrong to me, even though logically I know that it's my fault for basing my headcanon on a presumption.

[(Anonymous)]

Can someone please decipher?

[(Anonymous)]

As I got older and real life friends started getting married/having childrenm, I think I understand why a lot of people write children into their stories more. It really can be THAT basic for a lot of people, I feel like a lot of people never even thought about whether they want children, it's always been a question of when. While it's still not in my plans, it's been much easier to support the couples I like raising children or getting pregnant, especially since most of my friends still seem happy with their decisions...so far, lol.

[were_lemur]

I had a moment of amusement trying to fit this secret into any of the shows I follow.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate baby storylines. I've quit more than show over it.
And yes that's hypocritical because you're buying into babies=happiness as if your OTP is truly happy or complete without one.

[hange_zoe]

I don't think it's hypocritical. I feel the exact same as the OP, hate most any baby storyline, but when it comes to some of my OTPs, I feel a little different about it. I think people's reasons for liking stories and characters and their interactions are far more complicated than just breaking it down to what we are tired of seeing in media. It pisses me off how over saturated that 'must have babies ' is as a plot device, but i recognize that it doesn't have to mean that every story that ends in a family settling down is bad. Character dynamics come into play, too. For some scenarios, it just might seem right to someone, and that's ok!

Don't feel bad, OP. Nothing squicks me more than pregnancy, but one of my RP characters is in a relationship and I recently decided she's just the type that would have a kid, even if I'm not. And you know what, writing her is still fun for me despite that. Don't be hard on yourself, nothing about your preferences for yourself have changed.