[ SECRET POST #4190 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4190 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 77 secrets from Secret Submission Post #600.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know, I'm monogamous and I've never cheated, but I don't think cheating is inherently malicious, it really can just be a stupid impulse mistake. And some relationships are already so toxic or unhealthy that cheating isn't the real problem. And though cheating in a non-toxic relationship is surely a hurtful breach of trust that can be fatal to a relationship, it also can be something that relationships work through and forgive and move on from. Cheating is never right but there are varying levels for how wrong it can be, imo.

Then again, I only exist because my mom cheated on her husband, so maybe my perspective is broken, too. lol

AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

That's okay, we can have maybe slightly broken perspectives together, since yours makes sense to me too.

[soldatsasha]

See, and for me I'm totally the opposite. Also monogamous and never cheated, and I don't see how cheating can be anything but inherently malicious. Of course, I'm also one of those hardliners that thinks calling it a "mistake" or "accident" is bullshit, too. Infidelity is series of deliberate choices, you don't just slip on a banana peel and land on someone's dick.

That said, ia that there's varying levels of how wrong it is.

[(Anonymous)]

I’m in the “cheating is a horrifically nasty thing to do to a partner” camp, and the only way I could excuse cheating is if someone’s partner was a violent nutjob that they feared to leave and so they snuck around to avoid being killed or maimed for trying to leave, out of fear that yeah, if they’re discovered they might die, but if they try and leave they’re certain they will.

I mean, I think that’s dumb and also selfish—their controlling partner might also try to kill the person they cheated with—but at that point there’s not really trust to break anymore.

And no, I’ve never been in that situation, or in a relationship at all.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

i am mentally ill so i don't know how "normal" my view is, but the thought of having my trust betrayed like that freaks me out and by extension i feel incredibly bad for anyone who gets cheated on. i think that it inherently involves other people is a big part of it, not only is my trust betrayed but i am humiliated in front of the person that my partner cheated on me with.

if they know about it, of course. it's just a double sandwich of nightmares for me.


and ive been raped and don't appreciate it being used to mock my reaction to the topic....

[soldatsasha]

and ive been raped and don't appreciate it being used to mock my reaction to the topic...

Same here.

I was actually in a situation where I wasn't exactly cheated on, technically, but the betrayal, violation, and humiliation were there. I'm not going to go into it, but I can tell you which one fucked me up more and it wasn't being raped.

You have to question every memory, every conversation you've ever had, every ounce of trust is just gone. For a lot of people, their lives are basically just fucking destroyed, because they live with the cheater and have all the same friends and shit. And yeah, then you have to wonder how much they told the outside person. How much time did they spend making fun of you, or telling awful lies about you. It's really one of the worst things you can do to another person, imo.

[(Anonymous)]

and ive been raped and don't appreciate it being used to mock my reaction to the topic....

Are you actually equating rape and being cheated on then? yikes.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Lmao wtf. One of the original comments talked about people reacting as if cheating was akin to rape and AYRT said they’ve been raped and don’t like it when rape is used in that way.

It couldn’t be farther from equating the two. But holy fuck the ball didn’t just fly over your head, it rocketed into space above you

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, no. The original comment was berating people on this comm for this instant over the top outrage as though it were on par with something akin to murder/rape, which isn't mocking. Then this anon goes and tries to equate the two again by being outraged about the original anon's lack of outrage so either a) has shitty reading comprehension or b) does think cheating is on par with rape. Possibly both.

[(Anonymous)]

"by being outraged about the original anon's lack of outrage", really, that's how my comment reads to you?

i suggest the one lacking reading comprehension might be you. my comment was perfectly calm and you're trying to shove words in my mouth because i - what, upset you by objecting?

+1

[(Anonymous)]

You couldn't have been more clear about saying the original anon that used rape and murder to make fun of people for "overreacting" to cheating was being disrespectful to rape victims! That kind of hyperbole is such a cheap way to belittle people, at the expense of actual victims. And it's almost inconceivable that someone could misrepresent your comment so severely, and then say YOU are the one with poor reading comprehension! And you were also very calm, so it does seem like AYRT equates saying something they don't want to hear with yelling and outrage.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think "I made a mistake when I cheated" means "I accidentally fell on the dick". It means "I had a momentarily lapse of judgment and I'm sorry". Sometimes people have crazy thoughts and make bad emotionally-driven judgment calls without thinking about other people's feelings. Does that excuse cheating? No way, at least not generally. But I think when people make mistakes, it refers to something a little deeper than stumbling physically.

[(Anonymous)]

https://www.reddit.com/r/boottoobig/comments/5mrbci/roses_are_red_silk_came_from_china/

[(Anonymous)]

This. How do you "accidentally" sleep with someone? It's vile and deliberate and unforgivable.