[ SECRET POST #4213 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4213 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #603.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't get the point in being so angry about a fic trope. Let people have their fun, you have your fun. There's no need for negativity.

[(Anonymous)]

not secret maker but the "point of getting angry" for me is that it's SUCH a squick for me, and 1) some of my favorite fandoms were absolutely drenched with the stuff to the point where they weren't fun for me any more, and 2) because it's such a popular kink, it often rises to the top of kudos/bookmarks when I'm trying to use those to filter for, you know, quality

(....and 3, there are ASPECTS of it that I really like, especially the heat/desperation and bonding parts, that I WANT to be able to enjoy it, but the biological determinism and knotting are such turn offs that I usually can't. And all the people who say they're into the ~social aspects and worldbuilding~ or whatever usually only make it more contrived, not interesting or palatable.)

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
It just sounds like you're making yourself miserable. I have tropes I don't like (and pairings and characters, etc.). I don't wish for them to disappear. Getting angry about it just diminishes my own joy, and why would I want to do that? Also, it gives the trope way more power over me if I seethe every time I see it instead of just scrolling past it. No big deal.

[(Anonymous)]

you sound like a space alien

there's tons of stuff in fandom I don't like that doesn't piss me off, because none of the three reasons I mentioned apply. I'm not MAKING myself mad about ABO, but I am bitter because its prevalence has ruined my ability to enjoy several things I DO like, and I still can't get away from it without, like...never searching for porn in big fandoms again.

Which I have mostly stopped doing, actually. But it still pops up, like on my tumblr dash because I'm following an author who's other stuff I like, and I am reminded of my bitterness. I cannot express to you how completely I am not expending deliberate energy "being angry" or having a hate-dom or whatever. I scroll. I scroll and scroll and scroll and eventually leave fandoms for other fandoms where I have to scroll less, and then scroll there too.

I'm not saying anyone else should stop liking what they like or not be allowed to enjoy it. But damn I'd love if everyone got over this meme of "literally ever being angry because you can't stand a nigh unavoidable popular thing is ~your own fault~ and ~why do it to yourself~." It's super condescending and also completely misses the point.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt but seriously, chill. The only one being condescending here is you.

[(Anonymous)]

Lmao, anon above you wrote a good and concise response about how their fandoms are becoming increasingly unenjoyable, and you don't give a shit so long as the beauty of a/b/o is not tarnished. Perhaps human decency is only restricted to alphas and betas genders, because you don't seem to have it.

[(Anonymous)]

ooookay, same anon. You called the ayrt "a space alien" right off the bat and said they were "super condescending" when they suggested maybe it's okay that people like things they don't like. And with this response, sorry, you're not proving any points here besides screeching a/b/o haters are obnoxious.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not the anon you're replying to, I also enjoy alpha/omega stuff, but seriously fuck off with not allowing people to say "no". Different stuff for different folks.

[(Anonymous)]

except... literally no one said no one is allowed to say "no". literally no one. the original anon was objecting to the "a/b/o needs to die" because that implies no one should like it, and OP is putting a lot of effort into being angry about something she doesn't have to like.

[(Anonymous)]

How is name-calling and blaming others for liking stuff she doesn't like a "good and concise response"? Baffled.

[(Anonymous)]

This is me. Also it's not like the anger is actually ANGER, if that makes sense. It's just really bitter disappointment that comes across as anger in plain text.

[(Anonymous)]

There are AO3 extensions to block anything with certain tags and you can exclude things on AO3 without using extensions. If you hate something so much, just learn how to avoid it.

[(Anonymous)]

Bullshit. I guarantee that your fandom was not so 'drenched' in it that you could not result ignore it.

[(Anonymous)]

Let people complain about it. It's came about suddenly everywhere, and there's probably some folks who aren't a fan of the themes. Not everyone is going to be into forced gender roles and biotruths.

[(Anonymous)]

The secret says "the whole A/B/O thing needs to die". It's not complaining that they just don't like it. It's actively advocating that people who do enjoy it stop producing the work.

I don't have an issue with people complaining they don't like something, but it does seem silly that a trope would get people so bent out of shape. (And I mean this in the larger sense of any trope, not just A/B/O. I get people don't like it, so you don't have to be so defensive about it. I'd feel the same for people who react like this for fluff or whatever else. It's equally silly.)

[(Anonymous)]

personally by "thing dying" I would absolutely accept it just...being less of a fucking phenomenon, less THE fandom kink, which is what it feels like now. Some fandom fads DO die, or at least greatly diminish, because people become interested in other stuff. wishing for that to happen is a long shot from "actively advocating" people stop, which I'd associate with something more direct than a secret.

and I don't see what's silly about being upset that "something that brought a lot of social and creative joy into my life is a lot less enjoyable for me now and there's nothing I can do about it, except avoiding/giving up huge parts of the previously beloved space/activity."

I tend not to get upset by juggernaut pairings I don't ship, but I'm sympathetic to people who NOTP them and are aggravated about it. It doesn't make you super wise for not caring, it just means you're lucky about it.

[(Anonymous)]

I guess, to me, when I see a really pervasive thing in fandom that I don't like, I just look at it as something that is bringing so much creativity and energy into the fandom space. Most people make things because they enjoy it and find others who like it too. I'm happy that there is something that so many people are enjoying. I wouldn't want to diminish their joy by telling them to stop.

But when I see someone who wants a trope to die or disappear, they are bringing negativity into the fandom sphere. I get the need to vent, but when I vent, I'm always mindful that there are people who really like the things I don't. I don't put my own desires above theirs. As long as they are tagging things correctly, then I don't see any reason they should feel any unhappiness about something they enjoy. I can complain without lashing out. I can wish that they would like my tropes with equal passion to the ones I don't like but I don't want them to stop what's bringing them joy. I'd rather there was more overall then to pit things against each other.

[(Anonymous)]

Lmao at me merely saying to let people complain being called defensive. Look, OP maybe hyperbolic about wanting to see less a/b/o, but I think even if they made their secret into the most paonstakingly and nicely worded sonnet, it wouldn't have made a difference since no one is allowed to have negative opinions about anything apparently if you thought even my milquetoast as shit comment towards the otherwise was too much.

People aren't always going to be fans of everything, even if it's about forced gender roles, and societies that revolve around dominating others. You can go ahead and keep writing what you like. No one can really stop you. The best hope everybody else who finds these sort of really unpalatable is for the day that it stops making up a majority of their fandoms. No one can really force it to go away, just gotta wait for people's tastes to move on. Peacefully. Meanwhile, commenting on the zeitgeist of what's going on is allowed.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed, anon. It's one thing to talk about how you don't like it, but "needs to die" is kind of aggressive toward fans who do like it.

[(Anonymous)]

Wonderful ignoring of the down-to-earth, non-hateful commentary by people who had obligation to engage with you as if you were on the same level as them. Your willful ignorance is something that makes even the most well-burried of ostrich heads envious.

[(Anonymous)]

chill, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Not op.