fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4231 ]

[ SECRET POST #4231 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4231 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[6ix9ine]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 44 secrets from Secret Submission Post #606.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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But have never asked, either because you're embarrassed, think it might just be you, or you just never got around to asking.

Why do some people sound like they're happy on the phone when they're upset? Twice I've answered calls where it sounded like the person was happy and about to say something positive, only for them to either be sad or angry.

Is it because their voices are raised, and there's no facial expression to clue me into the fact that it isn't a "happy" raised voice? Are they nervous initially?

Possibly because they aren't sure who's calling them about what, and they're prepared to fake happiness if it's a stranger or someone they don't want to show their emotions to?

AYRT - No, I mean people who call you first.

So okay, example. One time a woman called my workplace saying she'd seen our sign. She sounded excited to me, and I thought she was calling about the offer. She went on to say that she was tired of signs being in front of her store and going to complain to the city if it happened again. (Signs were never put in front of stores, but that's beside the point.)

Re: Things you've always wondered

(Anonymous) - 2018-08-04 20:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Things you've always wondered

(Anonymous) - 2018-08-04 21:06 (UTC) - Expand

A lot of people have a 'phone voice' especially if they work on phones at a job. This often means pitching their voice higher, which makes them sound happier. Also, phones probably remove a good bit of voice subtlety.

Good point.

On a personal level, why no one ever comments on my Facebook posts.

It doesn't offend me. I'm honestly curious. If it's political I get a decent amount of likes, but everything else falls flat. It did offend me for a while, so I deleted my account until I stopped taking it so damn seriously. Now I don't but still wonder.

Because facebook is a void for people to be able to shout their opinions into without actually having meaningful discussion. If you look at the ratio of numbers of friends to comments on posts, it's a giant discrepancy. Many people have hundreds of "friends" and rarely any comments. I expect most people read your post, think "huh, interesting" and just carry on scrolling. Don't take it too hard. It's normal.

Why professional public speakers sometimes end up having the worst public speaking skills.

Are they teaching public speaking? If not, that is why. Just because I do something a lot doesn't mean I don't get stressed as fuck doing it. Thankfully, I don't have a crowd to judge me on it.

Because they're not shy. That's the key. You want to speak or you don't. And if you do, you generally don't care what people think, as long as they listen. Which means that until the day comes when everyone just gets up and leaves, you're going to keep doing what you're doing. And not everyone's going to get up to leave, either because you're one of a few people speaking, because they don't want to be rude, or they're waiting for the speech to stop being awful.

My theory, anyway.

Why hard cider gets me more wasted than beer. Both are mostly water, bubbles, a little sugar, and alchohol though cider actually contains less of that than beer, so???

Do you subconsciously drink more because it tastes better?

ayrt--No, I don't think so. Do I drink it quicker, maybe? I'm not sure either.

Is it really that likely that if you're pursuing same-sex relationships, you're likely going to have problems if you're at least partially in the closet and want to stay that way because that's a deal breaker for a lot of people in the long term? This seems to come up as relationship conflict in a lot of glbt media and it always gives me this sinking feeling because I don't see any reason to rock the boat by confronting my parents with my potential sexuality...I'm not close enough to care about their approval or their good vibes or their encouragement, but I also have no desire to cut them off entirely, and even though this is so hypothetical it's very hurtful to imagine someone would think that's about my relationship with them and not my fucking business, even if it's one of those "I think that's kind of shitty, but you can set whatever standards are important to you in relationships"...things.

Well unless you want to be like "ah yes, I am renting/buying a home and living for decades and raising children/pets/whatnot with um, my... bestest same-sex friend to whom I have no legal ties," it's going to come up eventually.

Not that people don't actually do that with their best friends sometimes, but you're going to force your partner to lie a lot for you, and a lot of people don't want to do that. They can't be out because you're not out, because what if your parents look them up? What if someone else finds out because they overhear them speaking to someone else? What if someone hears they're married and asks to whom, and they can't say because it might get back to your parents?

Yes. It's likely.

To add to that, this doesn't mean you have to go around telling everyone you're gay and in a relationship. It's easy to discuss with a partner how open you want to be about your relationship to others. Lots of couples including straight ones live/work/whatever without talking about their husbands/wives/private lives at all to the point where others are surprised they're married or have kids.

But being closeted / having to pretend to be straight if asked directly about relationships is a step further than that, because that makes people have to lie and say they aren't gay, or there isn't a relationship when there is.

My parents just aren't involved in my life enough to find out. And frankly if they did they could just deal with confronting me about it and save me the humiliation of coming out to them so that they're allowed to feel righteous for pretending to be okay with it when I know that they're not.

Re: Things you've always wondered

(Anonymous) - 2018-08-04 22:57 (UTC) - Expand

I was going to respond with almost exactly this. I have members of my family I am not out to - but I also have no relationship with them, so they just have no ties to my personal life. My family I am close with would be a different story. Not to mention with the internet its so much easier for the word to spread... Seriously dating and settling down with someone who wanted me to change parts of my life to keep their secret doesn't sound great.

I think the thing is, beyond even a relationship, if you want to live freely as a gay person and you don't want to tell your family, you are either going to have to distance yourself from your family or live an elaborate lie, which is very hard. You have to "rock the boat" eventually in some way. It sucks, but that's the reality of homophobia.

(That said my partner was closeted to her family for a year or so after we started dating, but she did decide to come out to them while we were dating - which I am glad for now that we are living together and we are having to figure out things like holidays and whatnot. So I think its definitely possible to date someone closeted for a while, but not long term.)

If it comes up a lot as a conflict in media that's probably because conflict is what makes a story happen. Otherwise, you're just writing a story where everything is fine and nothing happens. It's also a thing some people have had to deal with IRL and people like to tell stories about RL problems they or their peers have faced because telling stories about the human experience is just what people do. Stores about opposite-sex couples also involve conflict and imperfect relationships, because otherwise it's not a story.

That doesn't mean it's an inevitable stumbling block in every same-sex relationship, or you'll inevitably only meet partners who can't handle your approach to your parents knowing about your sexuality.

What does it feel like to have a penis?

yeah, like how do biological men's orgasms feel as opposed to women's?

awfully nice

It's sort of in the way.

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