[ SECRET POST #4365 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4365 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
(Stargate SG-1)


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03.
[Great British Bake Off]


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04.
[Umbrella Academy]


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05.
[cook and food writer Samin Nosrat, Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat]


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06.
(Kim Taehyung)


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07.
[Avengers: Endgame]










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #625.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Yet another vent post

[(Anonymous)]

I don’t feel like getting into it but the first bite of food I had today made one of my bad teeth that I was going to get fixed Tuesday break off a noticeable chunk, and it’s one of my front teeth. This happened at my gfs birthday party. I want to die. I can’t think of a single reason to keep living, only a reason not to die (my death would inconvenience people especially at this time of year). Even my teeth are breaking down, and it’s all my fault. If I had taken better care of them they would be fine. If I were a better friend I would still have them. If I had more skills I would have a better paying job, at least one where I wasn’t struggling to afford groceries every month. If I were more attractive my girlfriend would still want to have sex with me. If I weren’t so lazy I would still have hobbies. Even my cat doesn’t want to hang out with me recently, maybe because I’m crying all the time. I’m a useless, friendless, bad toothed drain on society and now everyone will be able to tell my teeth are bad, and I don’t have the money to fix this new visible damage (and I think it would need a crown)... once the holidays are over I might kill myself. Please don’t tell my to call a hotline, 1. I already tried and got sick of being on hold and 2. It’s not like they could actually help my teeth. Idk. I haven’t eaten since today. I’ve been eating less every day and no one seems to care.

Sorry idkif this makes sense. I’m going to go smoke weed until everything stops hurting now

Re: Yet another vent post

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like you're really depressed. One of the things that happens when you're depressed is that your brain lies to you and tries to kill you. It sounds like that's what's happening right now. I'm sorry, it's awful and nothing I can say is going to change that, but I'm pretty sure that you are not as bad a person as your brain is telling you right now.

Re: Yet another vent post

[(Anonymous)]

IA with the previous comment, this sounds like textbook depression where your brain tells you that everything is terrible and un-fixable and generally gives you a worse impression than is actually true.

I don't want to lecture, but you have to know that weed is like a band-aid on a stab wound. It may feel like a temporary solution to tide you over, but the sad fact is that it costs money you can't afford and keeps you from getting real help for your problems. The apathy won't help the depression, either. Please reconsider. I hope things get better for you, anon.

Re: Yet another vent post

[(Anonymous)]

Op - actually I’ve been getting free weed for about a month now (long weird story) but besides that I’m actually pretty thrifty about weed and budget it pretty strictly. I waste a lot more money in other things. But honestly if I don’t die cutting back was a plan of mine before my teeth imploded but when I get like this it’s the only thing I have on hand that will keep me from self harming. I do want better coping mechanisms but the situation is what it is.

Re: Yet another vent post

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn’t assume people even notice you’re eating less, but not because of you as a person specifically. It’s something that most people don’t notice of each other, period.

I’m not in exactly the same spot as you, but a lot of what you’re writing is similar to what my brain has or still shouts at me. My partner had no idea of any of it even after we dated and lived together for years until I straight up said it. Anyway, everyone has fucked up something or something fucked-up about them but odds are it’s not as fucked up as what their brain can tell them.

And also it’s huge that you’re keeping what you have functional at any level. There are people with jacked-up teeth that don’t give a shit about getting them looked at. Who dump gfs and pets wherever and the thought of bettering their position or themselves doesn’t even float across their minds. This isn’t saying “be cheerful” or “it’s ungrateful behavior”. It’s to say that your efforts and actions aren’t nothing. Good luck and see if you can get soup or similar down.

Re: Yet another vent post

[(Anonymous)]

(hugs) I’m sorry your brain’s giving you shit, anon, and I hope it lets you have a break soon without your having to knock it out with weed. It sounds like mine gets when it decides that joy and contentment are the enemy and fights them off by screaming that everything is garbage.

You’re not lazy, your brain is fighting the part of itself that’s trying to self-destruct and that’s fucking exhausting. If depression were some kind of hideous tentacled monster it’d be obvious to everyone how hard it is to fight, but just because it’s not ripping limbs off doesn’t mean it’s easy to beat. And you’rs not useless or a loser. Having and keeping a job at all is like climbing a mountain, with depression as well it’s like trying to climb Everest using only your pinkie fingers.

I’m sorry about your teeth; that must suck and it sounds like your head is full of terrible things already. Can you manage soup or smoothies maybe? There were a couple months when I lived off water and whole milk because my depression got so bad eating solids felt like too much effort, but I wouldn’t reccommend it because starving fucked with my head more.

Instead of calling a suicide hotline, could you look up dental school clinics? Sometimes they offer free, discounted, or sliding scale help. If your teeth physically hurt, cold packs, orajel, and/or clove oil can help numb some of it.

Please don’t kill yourself. Those people (and your girlfiend and your cat!) you say you’d inconvenience would miss you and I know from experience that it’s possible to climb out of the pit of “everything sucks I wanna die” and be glad I’m not dead. But I’m pretty sure that only works if you don’t die. *(hugs) some more*