[ SECRET POST #4396 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4396 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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02.
[Orwell: Ignorance is Strength]


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03.
[Russell Howard, "Recalibrate"]


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04.
[D. L. Hughley, Jimmy Carr and Katherine Ryan on The Fix on Netflix]


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05.
[A Star is Born]


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06.
[John Malkovich as Hercule Poirot in The ABC Murders]


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07.
[Andrew Knowlton, restaurant editor for Bon Appétit magazine and host on The Final Table]


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08.
[Exo/Cross Fire - Fonda Lee]








Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 08 secrets from Secret Submission Post #629.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Honestly? That makes it worse in my view, because there's a logical reason behind why so many women do that - avoiding conflict, swallowing down their resentment and emotions lest someone (usually a man) finds it distasteful or unfeminine. It suggests that women aren't doing that because they're childish or bitchy, and therefore joking about it as if those are the reasons (as opposed to culture and society shaping expectations of women) is extra crappy and unfair.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Also, like

95% of people probably could improve their lives and relationships by communicating more

but I think there is a certain point of like. sheer inconsiderate thoughtlessness where it's legit to be mad at someone for not realizing that you're pissed because you already asked them to do something 5 times and they blew it off, or whatever. and while not explaining it isn't productive....being the person having to do the emotional labor of explaining to your partner that they have to take equal initiative in building your lives and that girlfriend is not a mommy who takes care of everything...also doesn't solve the problem.

and a lot of dudes are thoughtless as fuck because they were raised entitled and expect women to pick up after them and do all the logistical legwork. and it kind of sucks. and I don't blame women who have less-than-ideal responses to it when they're at the end of their rope.

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

+100

The inconsiderate thoughtlessness comment is spot on. When someone tramples your known boundaries or is just flagrantly rude to you, sometimes you need a little time to just be angry. You're not ready to communicate toward a solution, you're not interested in patiently spelling out the problem so someone who is less socially/emotionally developed can understand where they went off track. But life goes on! You still have to obligations, still live with that person, still have to interact!

People need to give folks the time to just BE ANGRY and then calm down before they expect a rational, non-emotional response.

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

There’s also the risk of seeming like a nag for getting upset more than once about your partner doing/not doing something.

I honestly think the “not telling” thing is more women trying to avoid conflict, either because they feel like their concerns are not as valuable as things that concern her partner or that she is afraid of how her partner will react (shouting, violence).

It’s pretty sad that men still can’t see female socialisation.