[ SECRET POST #4397 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4397 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[She-Ra: The Princesses of Power]



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02.


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03.
[Mystic Messenger]


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04. [SPOILERS for Steven Universe episode "Escapism"]



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05. [WARNING for discussion of abuse]

[Utawarerumono]


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06. [WARNING for discussion of animal abuse]



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07. [WARNING for discussion of rape]



















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #629.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, this is a frustrating aspect of it for me too. But I do try to place the blame where it belongs, which is on the men who will seize on anything to support their misogyny. Because the thing is, I don't think these men are actually confused. I don't think they truly believe women want to be raped. (I don't think they care what women want or don't want.) I think it's just what they say to justify their own views.

The only thing I take issue with is when women, in real life, want to play "no means yes" with a guy, sexually, without actually discussing it with him first. Like, they want to say they're not interested and say no, and they want him to push and "prove he wants them" by not taking no for an answer, because they find that hot? I don't know how common this kind of behavior even is, tbh, but if someone gets off on that dynamic then it's so, so important that they discuss it with their partner first. Not just for their own safety, but to avoid perpetuating any genuine confusion about the nature of consent.

[(Anonymous)]

I was with you for this:

Yeah, this is a frustrating aspect of it for me too. But I do try to place the blame where it belongs, which is on the men who will seize on anything to support their misogyny. Because the thing is, I don't think these men are actually confused. I don't think they truly believe women want to be raped. (I don't think they care what women want or don't want.) I think it's just what they say to justify their own views.

But you lost me here:

The only thing I take issue with is when women, in real life, want to play "no means yes" with a guy, sexually, without actually discussing it with him first. Like, they want to say they're not interested and say no, and they want him to push and "prove he wants them" by not taking no for an answer, because they find that hot?

Because I have a hard time believing this is a widespread thing to the point where it's a real problem and not just one or two women with a screw loose.

[(Anonymous)]

... you've genuinely never heard of people playing coy? Because it's a fairly common thing that happens a lot.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, I've heard of it. I'm just skeptical it happens to the degree you're describing, to the extent where it's a serious problem.

[(Anonymous)]

Like I said in my comment, I have no idea how common this behavior actually is. I've definitely had women in real life tell me they do this kind of thing. And there seems to be a lot of people out there who claim a lot of women do this sort of thing. But I have no idea how common it actually is in reality. Which is why I made a point of saying that in my comment.

If it is incredibly uncommon, that's certainly a relief. But to those people, rare though they may be, my opinion is unchanged: you need to talk about it with your partner first. If you don't, it's dangerous for you, and it may genuinely confuse your sexual partners - especially if they're inexperienced and not overly educated about matters of consent in the first place.

[(Anonymous)]

Of course there are a lot of people out there who claim that women commonly say no but mean yes. That's how they justify raping those women.

"No means yes" is pretty damn uncommon outside of negotiated play. What's a lot more common is genuine ambivalence - I want to but I shouldn't, I kinda want to but X and Y factors mean I also kinda don't want to - which should be taken as a no, or outright "no" being ignored because some asshole wants to get off.

[(Anonymous)]

Me: If people do X that's dangerous for everyone.
You: Hardly anybody does X.
Me: Ok, but even so, the people who do do X need to handle it differently because it's dangerous for everyone.
You: Hardly anybody does X. Most people do Y.
Me: No shit. Not really my point though.

You have a bit of an issue with talking past people. It's weird.

[(Anonymous)]

People playing coy are not the problem. Rapists are the problem.