fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4413 ]

[ SECRET POST #4413 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4413 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #632.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

lol you don't see how pretending to talk to a lesbian like they're a dog who has pleased you is hella sketch and othering coming from a straight man?

Not really... It's just a bit. Do you think if it had been a straight man who made the secret I'd have talked to them any differently?

Do you think if it had been a lesbian doing the same thing it's would have been better?

Bad behaviour is bad behaviour. A lesbian doing something bad isn't less ad because she's a lesbian.

I treat lesbians the same way I treat any other person, and if your objection to that is "Well, other men are mean to lesbians" I say that sucks, but what the hell has that to do with me?

The comment was not "bad behavior". But a lesbian identifying with another lesbian in a silly way has different connotations than a straight man commenting on his opinion of a lesbian's sexuality, even in a silly way.

For example, seemingly similar comments and behavior were wildly different in intent, motivation, and effect when directed at me from an old, straight, female coworker and a young, straight male classmate. Not because I hate men or something, but because they had very different perspectives and expectations.

Do you think if it had been a straight man who made the secret I'd have talked to them any differently?

Honestly, I think it would have been weird if you had said it to a straight dude. It wouldn't have been as problematic but it wouldn't have been, like, a chill normal thing to say. To my mind.

“Who’s a good straight male? Is you! Yes it is!”

It’s almost impossible not to read as sarcastic but once I do... Lmao thanks I hate it

Well since there's no single word to mean "Straight male" and the term "Straight male" seems awkward to me, mostly because I only really hear it in negative contexts, Like when prople say "Stright Male" they tent to be using it to talk about why said stright male is bad and not worthy of praise... so I'd have probably picked a different term. Maybe something like:

"Who's a good dude with excellent taste?

Who is??

Is You!

Thas a good bro! Yous has very good taste!"

Actually! Thinking about this I have an example of something very similar to this fairly recently

On discussing BNHA, and finding out that the person I was talking to - who I did not know the gender of - ships uraraka x deku and is actively against uraraka x bakugou, I responded with

"Well done! For this act of moral superiority I will not, when the time comes, brick you to death.

You will be allows to live, on the understanding that when that time does indeed come, you will help me eradicate the Kacchako scum from the face of this earth."

uraraka x bakugou shippers get the brick, by the way. BOOM, Right in the back of the head.

So genitalia changes how you talk to people.

"How I talk to people" as in tone and intent and meaning of what i am expressing? All the important factors? No not in the slightest

"How I talk to people" in the clinical accuracy of the words I choose? yes. I would not call a woman "My good man" and would not call a man "My good Woman" Everything else stays as close as language allows.

Using this to say "You talk to women differently than you talk to men" would be technically accurate, but a weaselly distinction and lets be honest pretty disingenuous.

Oh, that ^ was me - Wako @ Work

Contextualize it however you want that you’d use two different terms of camaraderie that don’t address sexuality directly when talking to a man is part of why it came off as weird that you were headpatting secret OP’s lesbianess and not OP directly.

Oh, I see, you're talking about the difference between "Dude / Bro" and "Lesbian"

Fair enough but that's just a lack of information. If there was a a nice word for "Straight male" I'd have used that, as it is all I have it the knwledge that they're male, so I went with "Dude and Bro" they are not terms of camaraderie. I used to call dethtoll "Dude and Bro". If for example I was talking about... soldatsasha's taste in women, I would probably use terms like ""Who's a good Soldier boy" or "Who's the Russian with the great taste in women?! Who is it?". If I was someone else talking to Wako, I'd have used "There's a good Troll! Well done on the Taste in women, you little troublemaker". I know the OP was a lesbian, so I used lesbian.

You really are reading way way too much into it.

that seems like a weirdly oversensitive way of reading it, and that's coming from a wlw who doesn't even like wako most of the time
like people are just allowed to say 'you have good taste' regardless of their gender/sexuality and the gender/sexuality of the person they're talking to

I agree with this! The part that was weird was communicating that by talking to them like they were a good dog

This is my feeling on it.

I admit my phrasing might have been a little... unconventional, but I think it's known that I like to be playful. I'm a puckish rouge!

I think, even someone who doesn't particularly like me would expect my to talk the same way to everyone I speak to.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #4413 ]

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