Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2008-09-09 05:08 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2008-09-09 05:08 pm
[ SECRET POST #613 ]
⌈ Secret Post #613 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
RANK 36 AND WE BROKE 1000! → [ pop ind tra sec
Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 293 secrets from Secret Submission Post #088.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - what ], [ 1 2 3 4 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
176
It is totally understandable that you've lied, because society isn't that accepting of real lesbians (as opposed to fake airbrushed doing-it-to-turn-my-boyfriend-on pr0n lesbians, and can I just say FUCK KATY PERRY?). I lied, too, before I came out. And it was deathly embarrassing to admit to it. To say: "I was lying. I was making it up. I didn't want to admit the truth, so I pretended."
But here's the thing... The "fandom lesbians" are not what's stopping you. Maybe there's a possibility that their existence will make people doubt you, but what's really going to make people doubt you is your own behaviour. If you are honest from now on, you will give people reasons to believe that you really are what you say you are, and that your previous behaviour was a front. The more you lie, the harder it becomes to tell the truth.
When you do come out, trust me, all of your doubts and fears will seem so stupid and ridiculous in retrospect that you'll say to yourself "what was stopping me?" If your friends are as supportive as you say, they'll believe you and they won't do anything to hurt you.
I hope you find it in you to come out, because it will make your life enormously better. Seriously, it's like taking off a corset. You'll be able to breathe again.
Re: 176
(Anonymous) 2008-09-09 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)Re: 176
(Anonymous) 2008-09-09 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)Also, I could not agree more about the Katy Perry thing. God I hate her. So much.
Re: 176
OP
(Anonymous) 2008-09-10 04:05 am (UTC)(link)In some ways I think I feel like above anon will. It might just take falling in love to pull the trigger on me hiding it like this. There are so many dumb things stopping me from saying anything or doing anything right now, even though I feel like telling the truth would help so much in some ways. In other ways I know exactly what problems it'll cause, and I feel like until I sort out ways to deal with them I can't do anything.
I'm hoping that in the future, a situation will happen that'll trigger me into coming out but... Some friends will be more supportive than others, and I can't lose any of them now, not over something like this, and not at this time.
Thank you so much though... Thank you. I'm not going to hide it forever, at least, after this, but I'll pick a time to tell everyone when.. well.. I feel more comfortable with it.
I won't lie any more though, if it comes up I'll probably say something, but ask for it to be kept on the down low. >_<'
.. i suppose that's enough for now...
/runs
Re: OP
Don't feel compelled to come out if you're really not comfortable with it, but don't wait for the perfect moment, either, because it's never going to come. And don't depend on outside circumstances to determine when you're going to do it -- again, if you do that, you'll come up with an excuse every time for why this circumstance isn't good enough. You'll sort out ways to deal with the problems it brings when the problems come up; the only way to learn to swim is by getting in the water.
Good luck, and stay positive!