[ SECRET POST #613 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #613 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.


__________________________________________________



102.


__________________________________________________



103.


__________________________________________________



104.


__________________________________________________



105.


__________________________________________________



106.


__________________________________________________



107.


__________________________________________________



108.


__________________________________________________



109.


__________________________________________________



110.


__________________________________________________



111.


__________________________________________________



112.


__________________________________________________



113.


__________________________________________________



114.


__________________________________________________



115.


__________________________________________________



116.


__________________________________________________



117.


__________________________________________________



118.


__________________________________________________



119.


__________________________________________________



120.


__________________________________________________



121.


__________________________________________________



122.


__________________________________________________



123.


__________________________________________________



124.


__________________________________________________



125.


__________________________________________________



126.


__________________________________________________



127.


__________________________________________________



128.


__________________________________________________



129.


__________________________________________________



130.


__________________________________________________



131.


__________________________________________________



132.


__________________________________________________



133.


__________________________________________________



134.


__________________________________________________



135.


__________________________________________________



136.


__________________________________________________



137.


__________________________________________________



138.


__________________________________________________



139.


__________________________________________________



140.


__________________________________________________



141.


__________________________________________________



142.


__________________________________________________



143.


__________________________________________________



144.


__________________________________________________



145.


__________________________________________________



146.


__________________________________________________



147.


__________________________________________________



148.


__________________________________________________



149.


__________________________________________________



150.


__________________________________________________



151.


__________________________________________________



152.


__________________________________________________



153.


__________________________________________________



154.


__________________________________________________



155.


__________________________________________________



156.


__________________________________________________



157.


__________________________________________________



158.


__________________________________________________



159.


__________________________________________________



160.


__________________________________________________



161.


__________________________________________________



162.


__________________________________________________



163.


__________________________________________________



164.


__________________________________________________



165.


__________________________________________________



166.


__________________________________________________



167.


__________________________________________________



168.


__________________________________________________



169.


__________________________________________________



170.


__________________________________________________



171.


__________________________________________________



172.


__________________________________________________



173.


__________________________________________________



174.


__________________________________________________



175.


__________________________________________________



176.


__________________________________________________



177.



Notes:

RANK 36 AND WE BROKE 1000! → [ pop ind tra sec env com ]

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 293 secrets from Secret Submission Post #088.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - what ], [ 1 2 3 4 - troll ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: OP

[tyr.livejournal.com]

I understand you now. I was afraid you were generalizing fandom lesbians as fake lesbians, which I can see now that you're not. The issue here is more about overcoming that tremendous guilt of not being honest to your friends, is it not? :(

I think I got a little defensive because I'm an affectional pansexual, and I think some people assume that the girl-liking part of my sexuality is "fake fandom lesbian". But you know what, people who think like that obviously don't know me and I don't really care to know them if they're like that. :D They can assume all they want. I have no opinion of them.

I highly doubt your friends would lump you in the same category as fake fandom lesbians if they know you well. Friends won't be like that to you. Seriously. ♥

I can tell you a few things from experience. About people who were gay who came out to me after pretending for many years that they were straight: everyone always took them very well, even if we had no prior clue that they were anything but straight. Nobody felt betrayed, or hurt, or upset for being lied to. Being gay is a complex issue, and modern day people now have sympathy to the difficulties surrounding the act of coming out. When people came out to me, I've only ever felt a very deep closeness with them for expressing such a difficult thing to me. Everyone understands that some gay people do have their reasons being in the closet for so long. We still love them as much as ever, if not more. :D

A psychiatrist once advised me on a related issue, and she suggested to share your complicated secret with only your closest friend first. That first step, even if it's only one person (even if it's an online friend!), will make a huge difference. Be honest. Be serious. Let yourself cry if you want to. You'll feel a lot better afterward. It may be super embarrassing to go through, but when it's over, it's over.

Work your way to telling other close friends when you're comfortable enough to. THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. :)

And if the timing for coming out right now isn't good for you, don't sweat it. I don't know how old you are, but some of my friends chose not to come out till post-secondary for example, when people were much less judgmental and mature. Or there can be other reasons. As long as you don't make excuses for yourself and delay this for too long, which would be awfully stressful.

I'm really hoping the best for you. Take care and take it easy. :) If you need someone to talk to in private about this, you can email me (it's on my profile), anonymously even. Just let me know it's you if you do. I wasn't able to help a few of my good friends when they were going through their difficult closet times, and I'm more than willing to lend a hand here.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Th..thank you very much. ;; I'm.. i'm really grateful for your words...

To be honest, I was sort of deluding myself before now, which explains a lot of the lies. People kept asking me things like 'why don't you have a boyfriend?' and 'why do you turn everyone down?' and I couldn't really answer the questions myself. The guys that asked me out (though not that many) are lovely people and charming people but when I get put in that situation I feel I can't like them back in the way they want me to, as much as I love them as friends. I wondered then if it was something like personality -- that I didn't really know that many guys and that eventually someone I'll be able to like back will come along, and I could shut everyone up.

I guess the other half of my paranoia is because I can't fully shake the catholic baggage that I've dragged over from my parents. As much as I want to be who I am, I do have ingrained prejudices that manifest as self-loathing for not being able to fully get rid of what I used to think and used to be scared of. The idea that there could be yaoi and yuri was such a revelation when I was younger, the fact that it was 'okay' to like another girl was mind-blowing, and I still can't help but feel that sense of 'it's not allowed' in my mind, just through the stupid stupid haze of mindwashing.

Also, I have close, close friends who are a tiny bit homophobic in a similar vein, even if they don't really show it. I don't want them to mistrust me for being dishonest and for a reason like this...

I'm sorry for pouring this out for you. ^^' but it feels like things are a little complicated, and having this sort of thing bubbling up alongside everything else is a bit much. I graduated high school a year earlier than most people from my country. Due to parental pressure I'm now in my second year in uni, and I think i'm not quite ready to handle the workload. I've also apparently been too introverted and I'm deathly afraid because a friend of mine is trying to get me to be more outgoing, which includes attempting to set me up with someone. I'm not sure what to do or say sometimes when she gets like that, and even though we're close... i've fallen out with her over this kind of thing before and I'm scared she'll call it an excuse, because I don't think I could deal with it.

erh, maybe I should have emailed this, because my friend will know who I am if she sees this, but either way, I'll just leave this here and see what happens... ;; it might help. x_x

Re: OP

[tyr.livejournal.com]

GET YOUR CATHOLIC PARENTS FRIENDS TO WATCH MARIMITE. lolol


I don't mind listening at all. When life gets messy, bottling things up will make anyone go nuts eventually. I really empathize with what you're going through, but I guess I shouldn't prompt you to say too much more to me here. I still encourage you to contact me if you want to talk in the future. Or if you just want someone to listen. Setting up a new e-mail account does not take long. :) ♥


edited to fix obvious typo lol