fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4431 ]

[ SECRET POST #4431 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4431 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 11 secrets from Secret Submission Post #634.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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as a gay man all I see is a valid point in what you quoted. M/M fandom is overwhelming with straight women who write it and when actual gay men have mentioned offhand that they can act weird about getting off on our sexuality there's always been pushback for some reason.

so straight women can't write m/m? How about f/f? Is that being weird too?

nayrt

thanks for proving that anon's point by willfully misinterpreting it

;)

The quote in OP's secret accuses straight women of being hypocritical for saying they don't go for femslash because they can't relate to it. But there's nothing hypocritical about that. I can't relate to being sexually attracted to, falling in romantic love with, and wanting to fuck another woman. Nor can I really relate to feeling sexually and emotionally aroused by the knowledge that another woman desires/loves me.

I can relate to being sexually attracted to, falling in romantic love with, and wanting to fuck a man. And I can relate to feeling sexually and emotionally aroused by the knowledge that a man desires/loves me.

So in that way, slash is not just relatable, it can actually be doubly relatable. Because with slash, I can relate to both men's feelings/desires for each other, and both men's feelings about being desired by the other.

... so you can't relate to something you haven't experienced personally? how... do you enjoy fiction, then?

honest question, because i don't understand this at all.

Not the AYRT but for maybe some people romance/sex stories are harder to enjoy without that ability to relate (even a little), while with crime/fantasy/etc stories there's already that implication that this isn't going to be very relatable and that's okay for that type story?

I can't vicariously experience the hot, sexy pleasure of wanting to fuck a woman. Because I don't want to fuck women. Or if I can vicariously experience it at all, it's only in a vague, watered-down kind of way. A little bit of that feeling comes through, but it's more abstract. More an understanding than a feeling.

You gonna sit there and tell me that you, Mr. I Only Like Slash Because I'm Gay, do vicariously experience the hot, sexy pleasure of wanting to fuck a woman? Surely you can relate to something you haven't experienced personally, after all.

i'm not the op of this thread and i'm neither gay nor a man, but... no? i don't consume media to vicariously experience things, i consume it because i'm invested in the characters and the story and i want to read about their experiences and their feelings, not bring my own into it. tbh i find it a little creepy that so many people apparently do get this personally invested in fiction, but i suppose that explains things like shipping wars.

i don't consume media to vicariously experience things, i consume it because i'm invested in the characters and the story and i want to read about their experiences and their feelings

That...sounds like vicarious experience to me.

Like, you care about what happens to the characters. Why? Because you have empathy with them - i.e. when stuff happens to them, you feel it. That is vicarious experience. Vicarious experience is what makes fiction engaging in the first place. We care because what's happening in the story impacts us emotionally, even though it's not actually happening to us.

DA - Vicariously following emotional story beats is a completely different level from only connecting to characters you can physically switch yourself out with entirely.

i can't understand wanting to have hot sweaty sex with a man, but i absolutely can understand someone falling in love with another person because that's a universal experience.

Good for you. I just so happen to be a hell of a lot more attracted to that universal experience when it involves at least one man. Because that's a lot more relatable to me. Because I'm het. Honestly, it's really not at all complicated or difficult to understand.

lmfao holee shit

this comment made me die inside

I'm not het so maybe I'm missing some nuance here but...surely your emotional investment doesn't WHOLLY revolve around a man being present?

THIS. THIS. THIS.

like god forbid I, a straight woman who is attracted to cock and to maleness, want some cock and some maleness in my fictional sexytiems. That's crazy! *eyeroll.*

Lol, yup. I mean, you could pretty much have this same argument about any other sexual thing that some people are into reading and some people aren't.

Person A: Why aren't you into [literally any type of sex or kink]?
Berson B: Because [stated type of sex or kink] doesn't turn me on.
Person A: But it's fiction, and it gives the characters pleasure, and pleasure is a ~universal experience~, so can't you just imagine [stated type of sex or kink] turns you on?
Person B (who - shock, gasp - is totally me negl): I would rather just read what turns me on. But if you want to read stuff that doesn't turn you on and imagine that it does, knock yourself out.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 04:47 (UTC) - Expand

Then say that you want to read about cock, not that you ~~~can't relate~~~ to lesbian relationships.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 05:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 05:09 (UTC) - Expand

DA

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 05:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-23 01:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2019-02-22 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

there’s a lot of pushback because if I had a dollar for everytime some “soft mlm” has a terrible hottake about equating fictional slash to the real life lesbian porn industry which is built on misogyny and abuse of women I wouldn’t have student loans anymore. fujocoursing is just a fancy way for homophobes and misogynists to teamup and get woke points because women are “nasty” for exploring their sexuality and use their stories about the big bad “yaoi” of fandom back in early 2000s that doesn’t exist in this fandom climate anymore and hasn’t for years.

what does multi-level marketing have to do with slash fic?

E V E R Y T H I N G

It's a great set up for hurt/comfort.

+1 would read

men loving men

basically the hip, new, inclusive term for gay and bi dudes

Ah. I was like, "???"

When I was a young queer woman (80s) any complaint in LGBT spaces about male gazey woman-on-woman action was met with queer guys going "but at least you have something" so my main reaction to guys complaining about women writing m/m now is schadenfreude.

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