[ SECRET POST #4470 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4470 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 33 secrets from Secret Submission Post #640.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I literally knew a bunch of girls who got into bad relationships because "I want my own Edward." Surprise, the controlling, abusive bastard wasn't romantic in real life.

[(Anonymous)]

I have an older relative who's been there, done that in terms of relationships with controlling, abusive asshats. She looooooooved Edward and thinks he's so hot and romantic. I just shrugged and changed the subject, because there's no reasoning with stupid.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel really bad for those girls. I liked Twilight, but even I thought Edward was kinda creepy.

[(Anonymous)]

They did not get into those relationships because they liked Twilight. They liked Twilight because they were attracted to guys like Edward to begin with. If Twilight hadn't existed, they still would have ended up with those guys, minus the "I want my own Edward" comment.

[sabotabby]

I was one of those girls as a teenager, well before there was Edward. (There was Heathcliff, who was much better written, but still not exactly something to aspire to!)

At the height of Twilight's popularity, I had a serious talk with some of the teenage girls I taught who were into it about whether they thought this was something to aspire to. Not one of them thought that. It seemed to be a safe fantasy for them and nothing more, which made me think that they were more mature than a lot of adult critics.

[(Anonymous)]

When I was a teenager my online friends and I all read books that made Twilight look like ultimate healthy relationship #goals in comparison. This was before YA was a book category, so we got them from the regular fantasy shelves which, like everything else that wasn't in the children's section, was presumed to be adult. Each book usually had multiple hot dangerous potential love interest guys and we all gushed about them and made OCs based on them who we roleplayed our self-insert OCs with.

In real life, I was absolutely terrified of romantic relationships and turned down the few dates I was asked on. None of my other friends ever talked about looking for a guy like the ones in the books, except for the not-serious "OMG he's so perfect I wish he was real!" I can't say for sure about my friends, but for me those books were definitely an outlet for fantasies I was perfectly aware I would run screaming from in real life.

[(Anonymous)]

That's great for those girls, but they're not the end-all-be-all of experiences. I think we need to be more careful about how we romanticize certain relationships aimed at tweens in books is all. And yes, tweens. These girls were 12~ around the time of Twilight.

It's great your girls knew they were fantasy, but not everyone kept it at just fantasy. Not everyone does. Our favorite media does have an impact in normalizing things, and reading about the romantic guy who ripped out his girlfriend's car engine over and over and over is gonna have an impact if you find it romantic in you twelve-year-old mind.

[(Anonymous)]

Biiiig difference between Edward and heathcliffe. Wuthering Heights was in no way supposed to be a romance to aspire to and the ending was tragic. Edward is written as if he's the perfect man and the happy ending is Bella even giving him her life.

[(Anonymous)]

If someone lacks the thinking skills necessary to stay away from an abusive relationship just because they like it in fiction, they also lack the thinking skills to tell the difference between when a narrative glorifies a character's behavior and when it doesn't. So, no. No difference. If a girl who lacks those thinking skills reads Wuthering Heights and decides Heathcliff is perfect boyfriend material, she's just as likely to seek out a real Heathcliff as a girl who lacks those thinking skills and reads Twilight and decides to seek out an Edward. A girl who has those thinking skills will know both are bad in real life despite the difference in their fictional portrayal.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't believe for a second that any girl who got into one of your "bad relationships" would not have gotten into the same bad relationship had she not read Twilight.

[(Anonymous)]

Relying on conspiracy rather than taking something for what it is is always the easy way out for fucking idiots like you.

[ninety6tears]

No, blaming women rather than acknowledging misogyny is a trend in the world is the easy way out.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not the person who responded, but how is it misogyny to go, "They were heavily influenced by Twilight because they were fucking twelve during this time frame and the romanticized abuse they were exposed to in their favorite book had a huge impact on them, by their own admission, and their choices later in life because they thought Edward was so romantic and they wanted one of their own?"

[ninety6tears]

That's not really following the point I was replying to, but if men weren't inclined to abuse women it wouldn't matter what girls were fantasizing about, and in the absence of misogyny it wouldn't be created anew by female fantasies. Nobody asks to be mistreated, and it's not a "conspiracy" that makes it happen anyway, it's abusers.

[(Anonymous)]

But when you live in a society that constantly tells you "a guy who's possessive and treats you like shit is the ideal,it's his way of showing how profoundly he loves you" and then get given fiction that just further glorifies this shit, it definitely affects young teens who come across it. Women up thread have given their stories about how the series has negatively impacted them and their perception of romance or the ideal guy, and your kneejerk reaction is to invalidate them? In the name of denegrating misogyny? Real nice.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not blaming women, but okay. Keep shilling for popular fiction that glorifies abuse, I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

Uh, yeah you are. You are saying these girls got into abusive relationships by choice instead of blaming the ones who were abusing them. You are saying that their taste in books/movies is what gets them into abusive relationships and that it's their fault. That is just as bad as saying a girl is asking to be raped because she wears revealing clothing. Nobody wants to be in an actually abusive relationship, so please spare me this weak line of argument. Do you also think everyone who plays video games wishes they could kill people for real?

This is all assuming the original post was something that actually happened and not just another "let's mock the dumb teenage fangirls while I pretend to have the moral high ground". Tell me what kind of fics you read and what ships you ship. I guarantee it's just as bad, if not worse, than any of the OP books.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe you could stop invalidating women's experiences as told by them, hm?