fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4483 ]

[ SECRET POST #4483 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4483 ⌋

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Notes:

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If I’m aro/ace, can I still have a #mcm? Asking for a friend. The friend is me.

Do what you want

cause a pirate is free

Why bother with the label in the first place if you're gonna find exceptions to it?

Not OP, but it depends how we're defining crush? I mean, I can find a painting beautiful and not want to fuck or date it...

Lies and slander!

Well there was this one really sexy Monet...

Re: Random question

(Anonymous) - 2019-04-16 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Random question

(Anonymous) - 2019-04-16 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Random question

(Anonymous) - 2019-04-16 04:15 (UTC) - Expand

I can't say I've ever heard crush used like that though. It has implicit romantic connotations that are hard to shake.

*shrug* And I've heard the term used in connotations of famous specifically of just wanting to hang out/be friends/etc.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=girlcrush

"A (normally) straight girl's crush on another girl, often a celebrity. Is mostly platonic in nature.

A girl who is girlcrushing must by definition be straight, otherwise it's just a regular crush."

Mancrush is used by straight men in the same way sometimes. Typical crush-ees are celebrities like Dwayne Johnson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, etc.

Re: Random question

(Anonymous) - 2019-04-16 06:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Random question

(Anonymous) - 2019-04-16 10:39 (UTC) - Expand

"Crush" usually denotes romantic and/or sexual feelings though, not just aesthetic appreciation. That's why it's used in the context for how people feel about other human beings, and not "I have such a huge crush on this gorgeous rosebush outside the library".

I don't see why not?

A straight man with no sexual or romantic interest in men could #mcm a man he really admires or wants to be like, can't he?

That's gay though

Only if you're insecure.

A+ response.

What's an #MCM?

#ManCrushMonday

Huh, had no idea.

I was wondering what Mid-Century Modern had to do with anything.

It risks opening yourself up for criticism/doubt in the sense that if you post it publicly on social media, yeah, there will likely be at least one person who side eyes your ace label. A lot of people see 'crushes' as being inherently sexual by definition, even if it has taken on a different meaning with the modern 'girlcrushes' and 'mancrushes' (both of which have been argued in some spheres as being inherently biphobic in its usage).

I'm ace/aro, and I absolutely think you can. But I also think that most people will find it confusing and may assume you're not really ace, and that the judgy ones may make judgy comments about it. So if you wanna do it, I say hell yeah! But also, consider that it may not be worth it, depending on how much people's opinions about you and your sexuality effect you.

Personally, I've never wanted to fuck (kiss/pet/whatever) anyone. But I do have this sort of...vestigial capacity for crushes? Like, I crush the way a ten-year-old might crush. A celeb or character makes me feel really happy, and my psyche kind of makes grabby hands at them. But then if I actually try to imagine touching them, kissing them, going on a date with them, etc. my brain is like, "NO. WHY. HUH?"

So I could absolutely toss out some crushes I have. But I'm always frustratingly aware that to most people, talking about those feeling is going to seem to invalidate my stated sexuality (and I'm wary of doing that, because a fuckton of people don't even believe asexuality is real in the first place).

Oh hey, I’m still not entirely sure about my sexuality (and I’m 35 so, uh, call me slow) but this is always how I crush on people. Whether it’s “wow they’re so awesome” or “I wish I could hang out with them” or even “whoa they’re really aesthetically pleasing,” the minute I try to picture myself in a sexual situation with them, or anyone, my brain sounds some kind of internal BZZZZZZT! WRONG! buzzer.

I’m not sex repulsed or anything but my brain can more easily picture flying by flapping my arms than getting naked with someone. It feels weird, not in a good way, but also not in a scary way. As if everyone else walks on their feet and I try it and end up walking on my hands again. I don’t get how sex would work if I was involved. Idk.

Oh hey, I’m still not entirely sure about my sexuality (and I’m 35 so, uh, call me slow)

I'm 31 and even though I've been IDing as ace since I was 15, I still find my sexuality pretty confusing. I go with ace because the bottom line is I don't want to get sexy with anyone. But I wouldn't really say I'm not a sexual person, I'd just say I don't want to be personally involved in any sexual activity with another person. So I totally get how someone could be 35 and not be entirely sure about their sexuality. :)

I’m not sex repulsed or anything but my brain can more easily picture flying by flapping my arms than getting naked with someone. It feels weird, not in a good way, but also not in a scary way. As if everyone else walks on their feet and I try it and end up walking on my hands again.

This is a great description and I'm the same way. Hell (TMI warning) I've even tried, occasionally, to imagine myself with an attractive character while getting off. But my brain just wants to change the channel. And if I don't change the channel, my brain just kind of turns the "me" in my mind into another character instead, so that I'm just imagining two characters together. Which also isn't really hot to me, unless they're the right characters, but even two random characters is still less "DOES NOT COMPUTE" than trying to imagine me with anyone.

*shrugs eternally*

Anyway, I'm really glad you replied to my comment. It's so comforting to talk to another ace/potentially-ace/similarly-oriented person and just kind of compare notes. :)

Hey there! I'm basically the same as you. I'm 30 and I don't go "ew sex" or anything, but I've ever had any and I'm... fine with that? I also rather read about/watch my ship fuck while masturbating than anything else. I've never imagined myself with my fav character or... any other person really (except kissing when I was a teenager, completely with backround music lmao).

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