[ SECRET POST #4613 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4613 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.



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03.


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04.
[Where'd You Go, Bernadette]


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05.
[Little Women]


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06.


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07.
[Silmarillion]


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09.


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10. [repeat]


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11. [SPOILERS for Avengers Endgame]



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12. [SPOILERS for Star vs. the Forces of Evil]



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13. [WARNING for discussion of rape]


















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 19 secrets from Secret Submission Post #660.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

13. [WARNING for discussion of rape]
https://i.imgur.com/AetxJ6w.png

[(Anonymous)]

You do you, OP, but I want those tropes to stay the fuck out of popular media for the rest of eternity. Feel free to indulge in it via fanfic, though.

[(Anonymous)]

Unless it's Liam Neeson, right?

[(Anonymous)]

What?

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, really straining yourself to drag in some not-quite-so-current events there, aren't you?

[(Anonymous)]

You do realise that that rage is about his property rights not your feelings?

[(Anonymous)]

That's a very simplified version of it.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so confused. "Property rights"? What are you talking about? Would you not be upset if someone you cared about was raped?

[(Anonymous)]

I do think this is part of it, for sure, and this aspect is why the trope puts me off most of the time.

However, it's also entirely possible for a man to just be absolutely furious that someone hurt a person he loves, because how dare some disgusting, pathetic waste of space hurt such a wonderful person.

It's all about how it's written, IMO. (But it is often written in a really possessive, "you touched what's mine" kind of way, I won't disagree with that.)

[thewakokid]

For fuck sake.

[(Anonymous)]

You do realize that there are men in the world capable of empathy, unlike you.

[nightscale]

My issue with these types of plots in mainstream media is about how the pain of the woman is ignored and it’s made all about how her husband/boyfriend feels, like even when something horrible happens to Her it’s not even about her, she doesn’t matter, she’s just his possession that got damaged and we can’t have that!

Real life would be a different case, but I can personally say that while I wouldn’t be pissed off at my SO being angry on my behalf I wouldn’t want him to abandon me to go deal with the person on some idiotic revenge-kick, not unless he was bringing them back so I could rip the fucker’s head off myself.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Seconding this entire comment.

not unless he was bringing them back so I could rip the fucker’s head off myself.

Yaasss. Bring him to me bound, give me a while to kick him in the dick so many times it may or may not ever work again, and then dump him at a garbage dump.

[(Anonymous)]

Every word of this post. Yes.

[(Anonymous)]

Can't we just have the woman taking the revenge I Spit on Your Grave style? Now there's a trope I wish appeared more often.

[(Anonymous)]

Unless the person is a complete sociopath, I'd argue that anyone- male or female- is going to be pretty damn upset if they see someone they love being raped in front of them.
Also, the reality is it would be pretty friggen traumatising for both the person being raped and the person watching.
You do you, OP but I prefer a guy to show he cares in a way that doesn't involve being forced to watch someone being raped. Also, I'm sick of rape being used in films and tv as a backstory/device for female characters. It's such a tired trope.

[(Anonymous)]

Oooh! This is something I know a lot about because I did my dissertation on people's reactions upon finding out about someone's sexual assault and how that reaction affects the person disclosing that assault.

This kind of reaction was termed an "egocentric response" as in the person is so upset for themselves that their reaction becomes the feelings that must be dealt with, rather than the survivor who is disclosing the assault. Generally, egocentric responses weren't very helpful to survivors. Most had the feeling of, "Great, I was telling you this so that I could get some kind of comfort FROM you, but now I have to calm you down and comfort YOU."

HOWEVER, there was a substantial subset of survivors that really felt loved with this kind of response and it was exactly what they wanted. So while egocentric responses were generally scored as negative responses for survivors, they could also be very positive.

(Most survivors wanted emotional or tangible support, for the curious on what were generally the best ways to react to disclosures to sexual assault.)

[(Anonymous)]

Fucking yikes. I've witnessed my brother behave that way after finding out his gf was sexually abused and let me tell you, it's not heartwarming. It's actually fucked up how men twist it into being like [i]they[/i] were the one who was wronged, not the female loved one. It's not cute, it's fucking outrageous. You are sick, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Yay, another "I love when women get raped" secret! What is wrong with this fucking place?

[(Anonymous)]

Speaking as someone who was almost sexually assaulted... it really didn't make me feel better when I told my brother about it and instead of comforting me and checking to see how I was feeling, he ran outside in the dead of night looking around the block for the guy with a baseball bat. Not only did I have to deal with that shit experience, now I had to deal with my brother out there looking to beat someone up and possibly even get arrested for it.

[(Anonymous)]

I would say the problem with this is that the man more often than not does not consider what the woman might actually want. He will hunt down the rapist in ways that are harmful/unasked for by the woman. It often goes from protective to just plain selfish very fast.

[(Anonymous)]

I also like this trope in fiction.

[(Anonymous)]

Except he's not upset because you were hurt, he's upset because someone came in and used his property without permission.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's REALLY valid when you're seeing yourself in the place of the wronged woman, to want the fantasy of someone who A) believes you, B) places no blame on you, and C) is OUTRAGED on your behalf and would do anything for you, whether it's pure vengeance or protection from future attacks.

Like, the problem in mainstream stuff that uses this trope is that it tends to ignore the woman's pain in favor of the man's, but like... many women who've had to deal with sexual harassment/abuse/assault or even just living with the fear of it, and the fear of how the people you love will treat you after, I think can understand the appeal of a fantasy where the men in your life are wholly on your side!

Even as a non-woman person who's had to deal with harassment and the fear of assault, like... I get it.

I don't trust any series to handle it right and not make it all about the man pain instead of the couple's feelings as they deal with trauma together as two people with emotions and agency, but in fanfic it's different.